Season 3 Story Teaser | The Underground Podcast
Edited audio transcript

Edited from an automatic transcription of the original recording. Strong language is masked; selected personal asides and adult material are marked [Editorial omission.]. Transcription errors may remain, especially in names and lyrics. Timestamps come from the source; paragraphs split for readability can share a timestamp. The original recording contains adult language and themes. Announcements and offers reflect the recording date.
Source: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1880667/episodes/12994303-season-3-story-teaser-the-underground-podcast.mp3

[0:01] Ladies and gentlemen of Beacon City, welcome back to another episode of the Underground Podcast, starring yours truly, Kit Friendly. Of course, we couldn't start any episode without mentioning our sponsor, Daft Monks. Find yourself lost? No hope for a future? Well, stop thinking like that and get a helping hand from the folks at Daft Monks, Beacon City's own self-help improvement program. Now, down to serious business. I know we all find ourselves looking forward to the paradigm games, but it's important that we focus on the here and now. A killer is loose amongst us, hacking his way into our own lens operating systems. Yes, the very lens that you, your mother, and everyone else in Beacon has strapped to their face most of the day.

[0:01] Hell, I've got one on right now to live stream this pod, so what do I really have to say about it? It seems this hacker, going by the name Dante, has found a way of using the old originet to gain access to anyone's lens he seems fit and burns them alive. The authorities in corpse, oh don't get me started on the corpse, are all keeping this all hush hush, of course, but I have insider information that is in fact true. He is a he, and he wants something. There it is, folks. The only facts you get here on the underground pod. Now, the only other evidence we have to go on are the charred bodies from the supposed accidental lens fires. I'm not scared though.

[0:01] I just upgraded to Lens's newest model with unparalleled firewall protection. I'd like to see this hacker try and Hello Beacon City.

[1:52] This is Dante. This city will burn. Consider this your warning.