Shroom & Doom
Edited audio transcript

Edited from an automatic transcription of the original recording. Strong language is masked; selected personal asides and adult material are marked [Editorial omission.]. Transcription errors may remain, especially in names and lyrics. Timestamps come from the source; paragraphs split for readability can share a timestamp. The original recording contains adult language and themes. Announcements and offers reflect the recording date.
Source: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1880667/episodes/9475092-shroom-doom.mp3

[0:00] Just so you know, Daft Monks is half talk show, half actual play campaign that features adult language and topics. Viewer discretion is advised. On this episode of Nat One Presents. Now, little fun fact. As I'm whispering this into like the now hurt clown's ear on the ground, little fun fact for you. Mick Nibbles' claws are laced with a gift. You will die a slow and painful death. That's what you get for being a clown. Adventure. Role-playing that can only be seen by the gods. Here at Nat One Presents, you get all that and more. Now join us as we start another epic tale of con.

[0:50] Just kidding. This is Nat One Presents, a tabletop role-playing game podcast that takes your favorite nerdy games and pop culture icons and ruins them with improv.

[1:01] Hello and welcome to Nat One Presents the Podcast. Hey Chris. Hey Nate.

[1:06] Hey, Nate, Chris? Hey. Welcome to my uh humble abode and very uh warm and friendly neighborhood. Well, it's not, Nate, so I can tell you that right now.

[1:17] Because moments before I walked in that door. For those of you who don't know, I like to be extremely punctual to the point where it almost like hurts me a little bit. So I show up to Nate, Nate's house an hour before I'm supposed to be, and I chill out in the parking lot and kind of just unwind after my job.

[1:36] Yeah, he doesn't want to come in early. So like we know he's here now. Like literally like an hour before. I'm like, oh, Nate's probably out in the parking lot. But like he doesn't want to come in until maybe like three minutes before Max. Correct. And so we just kind of like wait.

[1:49] And somebody ruined that today. And an old guy came flying in out of [expletive] nowhere. I'm sitting there watching my phone, and then I'll all I've ever hear is boom, boom, boom, boom on my glass window. How aggressive was that now?

[2:00] It was really aggressive. Like he had [expletive] like 12-pound fingers, and he's like dun dot dun. Yeah. You know, almost broke the glass, probably.

[2:08] Like literally a hand on the window would be more than somebody standing in your window.

[2:11] He could have Velociraptored me, you know, and started breathing on the glass, like ah, ah, and then wrote, like, hey, roll down your window in the fog. But that's not what happened. Rap, rap, rap with his fat [expletive] fingers. And I roll down the window. Hey, what's up? You know, I'm trying to be friendly because I'm usually friendly to old people because they're [expletive] old, you know, and they've seen some [expletive], I'm sure.

[2:31] You learn nothing from the vacuum cleaner, ladies.

[2:34] Apparently not, man. Hindsight. So I'm nice to him, and he's like, Who are you? And I'm like, I'm Nate. What are you doing here? Okay, I'm parked here waiting for a friend's house. Who's your friend? His name's also Nate. Okay. Where does he live? [expletive], down the street, like five houses down.

[2:53] Yeah, guys. I also live on like it's just like a one-off street with like honestly, maybe max 18 houses. Right, one street. Like, it's also kind of ridiculous that like this guy thinks that he just like I mean, honestly, it's not a big neighborhood, so he should know everybody, but no none of my neighbors have actually tried to get to know each other or anything. So the fact that like suddenly, oh well, which house? Like, [expletive], like I don't even know which house you live in. You don't know which house I live in. Like, like you're gonna [expletive] know. This is ridiculous. But anyway, that's not it. Is it okay? So I'm like, well, he lives around the corner.

[3:24] And he's like, Well, I live around the corner. I'm like, well, congrat your [expletive] lations, man.

[3:29] I didn't say that, but that's what I thought. It's like a kid mimicking, like, like, you do this, well, I do this. Like, you know, like it's not even a real conversation. Like, if you've been like, Oh, hey, like, are you waiting for somebody? Like, you'd have been like, Yeah, you know, like, yeah, the house down the road. Like it was just accusational and yes, I've seen it before.

[3:43] He was instantly ready for a fight. Like, he's had this before with somebody, and it's always a confrontation, but now he's dealing with somebody who is kind of a master at confrontation.

[3:52] I'm like a Captain America with the shield, like, I am the master of deflection.

[3:56] And speaking of which, uh, he said, I don't know any Nate. And I was like, Well, I don't know what to tell you, man. They're the only gay couple probably in the neighborhood.

[4:06] And as soon as I said gay, he threw up his hands in the air, like, whoa, like I was pointing a [expletive] gun at him. And I kid you not, guys, he backed up like three steps. Like I had like a loaded weapon pointed at his face.

[4:18] As soon as I said the G word, he was all weirded out. And he's like, Well, man, I was I'm sorry, you know, okay. And then he stumbled in his [expletive] words. All of a sudden, he was so sure footed, and then now all of a sudden he's like, Oh my god, he said gay. I don't know what to [expletive] think. And oh, I just blew his [expletive] mind because he doesn't even know his [expletive] neighbors, he doesn't even realize though there's a [expletive] gay couple who lives down the [expletive] street. Doesn't [expletive] matter. I said it. He backed up, oh man, okay, uh, I just need you to turn your car around.

[4:45] Doesn't even make [expletive] sense because it doesn't have a [expletive] sign saying I need to turn around.

[4:49] You just came over to [expletive] with me because you're an old guy who thinks this is your [expletive] neighborhood and you [expletive] own it. I'm spitting all over the place and I'm sorry, Nate.

[4:56] Yeah, you know, and I hate to say, Nate, that I I would love or I wouldn't love, but I wish I could say that that was the worst thing that happened. It's not. Like our neighbors have straight up called to have like prop cars parked in front of my house, people who are staying temporarily.

[5:11] Chris's car.

[5:11] It's Chris, it's Chris. Basically, my neighbors called and had a car parked out in front of my house towed. And it's just like nobody like alright, look, say I wanted to tow somebody's car and it wasn't my property. One, I wouldn't want to do that because it's [expletive] stupid. But two, I'd go probably knock on that person's door and be like, hey, like, there's a car parked out. Are you like, you know, is this not like are you worried this is not yours? And I would be like, no, it's my friend, he's right here. There's a lot of different ways that could be resolved, right? Just like that guy could have been like, Oh, hey, do you mind like just spin around?

[5:11] I guess technically we gotta have yeah, like it could have been as easy as that, right? Right, but no, like these people just want to, they they they have nothing to do. They it's I hate to say it, it's elderly people who have they they need to find conflict and they need to find something to do, and they do it in such a negative way, and it's very important.

[5:59] They need that drama in their life, and I guarantee the person who towed Chris's car was standing in the window watching it, like [expletive] rubbing their nipples, like, oh yeah, sweet justice. Got him, yeah, got him. Take that, you [expletive].

[6:13] Griddles the puzzle right now.

[6:14] Meanwhile, you guys are inside watching movies or whatever the [expletive] you're doing. We were literally towed outside, like it's [expletive] ridiculous.

[6:20] It was sad. It was you know, like there's nothing more embarrassing as a host. Like, most hosts are like, oh my god, I put out the peanut butter, and like they like they prefer whipped cream. I don't know, what the [expletive] ever. But it's like when your friend's car gets towed, like, oh, that's pretty [expletive]. Like, that's kind of on you-ish, you know.

[6:35] Like, I said there'd be pizza, and all I have are these bagel bites.

[6:39] The small box, it's all I got. How embarrassing. How am I supposed to sell this vacation? The sad part is that did I tell you I saw that guy at a restaurant.

[6:49] And either I I didn't I did not acknowledge him, and then I don't know if he just didn't notice me or we just never got over the bagel bite thing. We just got it.

[7:01] Maybe he just got out of the store or no, because you said a restaurant, right?

[7:04] I he'll never I don't know. We we're at yeah, we were at a restaurant. I don't know what the deal is. He has a new girlfriend, there's also little kids around. I don't know what's going on, but all I know is he'll probably never hear that episode, and he'll probably never know like how [expletive] upset I was.

[7:17] If he stumbles upon it and he's like, That [expletive], I love bagel bites, and he's gonna question me like that.

[7:23] Oh man. Well, do you feel better you got that off your chest?

[7:27] I vented, yeah, but now I'm a little scared. I'm gonna go out there and find my car towed.

[7:32] I do just no, you're you're fine. It just can't be in front of our house, I guess. I don't know. Anyway, listen, I'm sorry on behalf of the neighborhood. I'll go on. If you want, I'll I'll go on uh next door, that whole like neighborhood app, and I'll be like, hey, we're the gay couple, please stop harassing our friends if you want. You're not gonna be sufficient. I want to send David and because he is like extra.

[7:52] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[7:54] Well, and he loves some of the racist car because he'd be like, Oh, is it because I'm gay or because I'm Mexican?

[7:58] Which why do you hate me?

[8:00] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. So he's so comforted. He would he told me stories at the bank where like a customer would complain about him, and it was always [expletive]. But if he did, I he would like just be like, Yeah, they like were racist at me, and then he'd be like, Gotcha. Got him, got him done.

[8:17] Even though he's like trapping him, he's like eating a burrito and [expletive]. Like, glass Coca-Cola.

[8:23] Somebody said he was like, some I think someone like called him Korean once or something, and it was just like it's not even the right thing close. That's so gross.

[8:31] That's probably another old guy having a flashback to the Korean War, you know. The Korean War? Yeah. Oh, yeah, there. I guess that was a thing. Were we there? Well, I know there's Korean War. We were there. Megan's uh grandpa fought in it. Oh [expletive], okay. And we respect him dearly. He passed away, but that's besides the point. He I was saying a joke, he's probably having a flashback where somebody that just looks different, he's like, Yeah, Koreans.

[8:54] I mean, if it's like that hour of the day where you you go back to like, you know, war, then maybe don't go to the bank of that time, right? I I'm sure. Anyway, Koreans. Do we have any Koreans that watch our show? Listen to our show? Oh, I don't know. It's uh check the stats. Oh no, I don't do that anymore.

[9:11] Okay, don't check the stats.

[9:12] India keeps growing. Have you seen the chart? I'm not even afraid to say it anymore, guys. You know, like it it has its like peaks and valleys, but obviously we've been kind of laxadays the last few months, and it just tanked. Like it looks like it's like you know, like when the thermometer breaks and it just goes like that's basically it's not been great. It's not been great name. But today we changed that. Yes, today we deliver quality content at an affordable price, and it's only a dollar, it's also free, but go. But really, it's a dollar if you want to watch the video. Yeah, anything good is worth paying for, yeah.

[9:46] Even if it's definitely barely 99 plus one cent.

[9:51] Uh I got nothing else. I mean, do you have any other like neighbor stories? I mean, can you talk about any of your neighbors or any like this? Is my first house, so this is the first true. Growing up I had neighbors, they were super like I knew them, we knew their names. Like, you know, I I told you this, but like I was kind of [expletive] annoyed when we we've been here two years now. Like, I you know, it's not that like I expected cookies, right? I didn't expect a [expletive] parade, right? But I thought like somebody would be like, Oh, welcome in the neighborhood. That's it. Just somebody, nah, man, nothing.

[9:51] Nah, we only know the elderly woman next door, and only because she got our package once and felt obliged to bring it back to us. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, I'll take it. She's actually pretty nice. Her name's Dawn. But but other than that, right, I expected a little bit more fanfare and a little bit more community, and these people just don't give a [expletive].

[10:35] Nobody cares. Nobody cares. The first neighborhood I moved into out here, there wasn't like a rental or whatever, it was a real neighborhood. I knew one person on the entire street, and that's because I worked with them. And then after that, the current neighborhood I'm living in, there was the nicest lady, old lady. It was actually an old couple. They saw that Megan was pregnant, and they brought over like one of those like bathtub towel things for the baby and stuff and introduced themselves. But they're the only ones we talk to on the street now.

[11:03] I was like, everybody else can get [expletive] except for these old people. Megan knows their names.

[11:07] I'm terrible with names, I'm a faces kind of person.

[11:09] I don't know. It doesn't tell like I don't want the person to be like, hey Nate, good morning, Nate. Like, that's not what I'm expecting either. But it's just like nothing. Like, I come in and out. I've seen like one person who like I think goes for a walk, maybe, and we just nod heads, but like yeah, there's just no interaction here. It's like, wow, like what are what's happening as a society? And like, I want to, like, you know, me, like, I'm antisocial. Like, it there's gotta be a balance. Like, if I want my neighbors to interact with me, that's pretty [expletive] bad. Right. That means like you're lonely. Yeah, it's something. Is it me? Oh my god. Is it no? Oh no.

[11:42] Maybe you should play it off and do like the eye shield next time you see the walking lady, you just be like, like shield your eyes and keep going. That way you're playing it off as like I can't hear you, I can't see you. That way it forces her to initiate conversation.

[11:57] Maybe that's a strategy. Or she'll just flip you up. I don't know. We'll see. Who cares? I have nothing to lose. That's the thing. I have nothing to lose. It's a win-win. Except my friend's car if they leave it parked in front of the house. That's true. All right. What's on the docket today? Um just a reminder, Chris is still here.

[12:13] Yeah, did you have anything to add about neighbors?

[12:16] Uh yesterday I saw my two neighbors for the first time. How long have you been living there? Three years. I think they've changed out like twice since then.

[12:25] Like is that rental next door? Yeah.

[12:27] Rental.

[12:28] Yeah, that's it.

[12:29] That's it.

[12:29] Like, so they exist? Anything like d descriptors?

[12:33] Uh the one downstairs has a cat, and the one next door has a dog. That's about it. Is it loud? Sometimes. Do you get any weird vibes from them? Yeah. Oh no, I saw them like way off at the end. I saw them come out of their apartment and then walk away, and I was like, I'm just gonna wait for them to leave.

[12:49] I don't want them to see me come out of my apartment. But I bet they did. Probably. I bet they like went around the gate and then waited.

[12:55] They're getting weird vibes from you, probably. Like, is that the guy from Metallocalypse?

[12:59] That's fine.

[13:00] Try again.

[13:01] Does that make an explosion?

[13:04] I remember the the first uh apartment we moved to here, there was one super friendly guy who greeted us right away. And immediately I got a bad vibe from him because he yeah, he was like, Hey man, welcome to the neighborhood. Just be careful the upstairs neighbor.

[13:17] Oh, wow, what's wrong with them? I don't know, man. They're like from the Orient or something, you know, they're really weird up there.

[13:22] And I was like, Alright, I'm done talking to you for the rest of my duration here.

[13:26] That's also, guys, why we ironically say on the show Orient we never actually mean like it's just like such a ridiculous thing to say in this day and age. You from the [expletive] 20s, dude? It makes no sense whatsoever.

[13:40] But today, we are going to do D Hunters out here hunting for D again.

[13:47] It's been a minute. Uh, I think the last one we did was Nosferatu, and that one was so over the top. I love it. I think we needed to like just like putting his finger in the mouth. The mint clown. I remember because we had done like a behind-the-scenes episode before that of like, oh, what we're gonna do, and you had this like German voice that was kind of funny. It was perfect, and then nope, you come back the next time with southern mint julep.

[14:20] I couldn't find it. I couldn't I searched my soul and I couldn't find that voice again. You searched your soul, and that's what you found.

[14:28] That concerns me.

[14:29] That concerns me. Man, I really want a mint julep. I've never had one. I bet they're [expletive] delicious.

[14:39] Anyway, Deion, that was the last time we did an episode, so it's been a few months for sure. Uh kind of a wacky wild episode. Um, I think we're looking at more of the same today. Um we'll see how it goes, you know.

[14:51] We'll see how it goes.

[14:52] Um we're going for uh a slight Halloween theme. Um, if assuming this airs on time, which is always a flip of a coin with us, honestly, lately. But uh should should air before Halloween.

[15:03] It's gonna get better. We're getting better. So what's the um so this was your idea today, name, right?

[15:12] So go ahead and uh unfold for us the premise of what's going to happen. Paint uh a visual premise for you. So um I'm imagining that Van Helsing and uh [expletive] Trevor Belmont. I can't even remember names anymore. Belmont, my boy. Belmont boy. Uh they've been traveling. Uh they have since uh ever since the the uh whatever went down with Nosferatu, they've just been traveling around. Things have been chill, right? They haven't dealt with And remember we did push Dracula to handicap Dracula does we haven't been dealing with the fallout from a handy capable Dracula. And uh Nosferatu, we did just like burn a like effeminate foreign man. Um so we're just you know going around the countryside, just trying to not She wasn't even a vampire. He turned into rats or something.

[15:12] Yeah, I remember the best line of that whole episode was when you like start talking about like I don't even know how you got to it, but like the tiny coats for the rats. Yeah, for the pirate rats. I don't even know how you got on these rants. Anyway, scouring the countryside, just living our best life, and we decide to tell like ghost stories. It's uh it's almost like all Hollows Eve or whatever, and by some, you know, in out in the country. We're off like kind of near a village, but not that close. And uh there's campfire, there's me, there's you, and then we have a member of our posse. Uh, most of our posse has abandoned us at this point because you know, or died, yeah. Combination of A or B.

[15:12] There was that first one that was taken by the heartbee.

[16:45] Yep.

[16:46] Um, and then I think some of them were Jerry died. Jerry died.

[16:49] No, Jerry.

[16:53] Yes.

[16:53] Anyway, but apparently there's been one who's stuck by our side, and mostly just we haven't really noticed him because he didn't speak very much, but he's just there to like kind of keep things moving, usually.

[17:04] I love it.

[17:04] Um, so anyway, uh telling ghost stories. Yeah, and uh it starts off uh Troubelmont just finished a really spooky one with a really gnarly monster that he defeated in act of courage and long but no, that's fine. Nope. That was that was before the the Van Helsing days when he started to now you've been a terrible influence, and I imagine Troub Belmont is now just like kind of a piece of [expletive]. Um Okay.

[17:29] Beautiful story, my boy. Beautiful. What a delicious night it is tonight, don't you agree?

[17:36] Yeah, yes, there's uh there's a beautiful magic in the air, and uh, I see there's some lights going on in the village locally, looks like some kind of celebration. It's it's a good time to be alive.

[17:47] Yes, it's also the hallowed night. So we must be careful for the like monsters and whatnot. Yes, yes. Which which ones in particular do you mean? Well, there's all kinds of monsters. I've killed plenty in my day, you know, my boy. But they're talking about that hobby you dated and then killed with your STD. Well, the present. That's really the only monster. The doctors haven't decided what to really call it yet, the present. It could I might just need a shot of some kind. We don't know for sure. Anyways, that's besides the point. Sometimes there are things out in the dark that are worse than even these monsters. Oh my god, what is that? Who's messing with our horses?

[18:26] Uh, do you want anyone to roll for it? Yeah, we can do I know? There you go.

[18:31] It's a natural.

[18:33] I have no idea who that stranger is. Uh let me let me go check. I I have better vision than you, and also just in reflexes in general. So sh uh quiet it down and uh I'm not gonna roll for it because I don't feel like it. But yeah, I'll be right back. You just uh you stay put. I'll sit here, quiet as a door mouse. And uh Ven Helsing, uh Troy Bomai goes and looks, and nothing there. You literally did not, I don't know, something dancing in the flames. So you're a little spooked right now. Come back with like Van Helsing, there's nothing there. Have you been did you take any of those shrooms from the Enchanted Forest?

[19:06] I went over there to get the wood like you asked me to. But you didn't bring back.

[19:10] I had to actually go and get that.

[19:12] Well, something happened. I got another splinter in my arm. Of course. Anyway, I tripped over this red-capped mushroom, and it had a faint glow about it in the moonlight. And I thought to myself, Helsing? What would you do in this situation? We had leave it alone. No, no, we had steak for dinner, see? And what goes groove with steak? Mushrooms. So instantly I hopped down on all fours, cause I was afraid of plucking it and getting it on my fingers, because who knows what kind of chemicals are on these mushrooms, you know? And I got down on all fours and started just chomping down on it like a cow. Um, um. And I chewed on it for quite some time. It made my tongue tingle just a little bit, see?

[19:12] And then a little bit of like acidic drool came out of my mouth, but I swallowed it like a champ, and I'm not sure. Then I think can you lean into the fire just a little bit? I just wanted to look in the light, and uh yeah, your eyes are dilated. When you say dilated, that's a big word with lots of echoing noises coming off of these trees. What does it mean to me?

[20:18] Uh it means you're tweaking right now, and probably I mean, really, usually normal normally like 80% of what I say, you say I don't believe, but tonight, probably a good 97% of what you say will not be true. What happened to my pants though? You're wearing them. Hmm.

[20:35] Is that what you call it? I was calling them.

[20:38] Maybe they're on backwards, but you're wearing them.

[20:40] Oh, that explains why things have been so difficult for me lately. Ones are super hard, twos are super easy. Ever since I ate that mushroom, a whole lot of twos, so maybe this is beneficial for me tonight.

[20:51] Oh gosh. Well, this is there's another plan I can go collect that, but why don't you finish? You were going to tell me some kind of ghost story. Yes, yes, yes. Maybe it will calm your nerves a little bit and we can, you know, like I gotta redo the story before you go to bed every day.

[21:03] Very well, very well. Let me tell you the story of the clown. The cl the clown. No, no, the clown. The clown, okay, yeah, that's a C L O W W N. Clown. I'm sure. Yes. Now, this is a terrifying creature. He's man during the day, you see, but sometimes he transforms. He will take um paint of some kind, I'm sure. Demonic paint to make this story more realistic and cover his face, and then he tops that off with usually some kind of tomato. And he cuts a slit in that tomato and puts it over his nose. It's the most terrifying thing you've ever seen.

[21:47] Nothing scary about that. He's a he's a traveling performer who puts makeup on to both scare and delight uh people of all ages. They're they're very common and they're totally harmless. It's not like they go around kill.

[22:01] Oh my god, that's exactly what happened on this fateful night. Did I ever tell you that I had a cousin named Myrtle? And Myrtle was killed by a turtle. It had nothing to do with the clown, but I'm just telling you the story because it sounds accurate. Now, Myrtle.

[22:20] And once that this goes on for like a good like 30 minutes.

[22:26] So, anyways, that wraps up the whole Myrtle story, you see. Now, where was I originally? My pants! Now, my pants! Wait, that's not right. Belmont, my boy.

[22:38] Are we alone? Well, yeah, as and of course, uh our the posse member here. Uh we still have a posse?

[22:46] Yeah, as yes, he's been here the whole time.

[22:49] Do you think he's a clown in disguise? Well, he's right there, he can hear you for one. I don't want to make eye contact with him. I'm looking this direction by the fire. Just uh, no, he's not a clown. You ever see something scary and you don't want to look at it? That's how I feel about the posse sometimes.

[23:03] Yeah, I'm sure it's how a lot of people feel about you.

[23:05] I've let them down so much. The disappointment look in his eyes would probably be too much for me to bear.

[23:10] The ones that are alive anyway.

[23:12] Clowns! That's what we were talking about, clowns.

[23:14] Yes, okay. Listen, I think it's time for you to go to bed. Why don't you go to your tent, which I build for you every night, reinforced, and uh you rest.

[23:22] It's almost like you're locking me in.

[23:24] Hmm, yes. Well, that's what the lock's for. I am a wanderer. I'm going to collect some more firewood for tomorrow, but then we're gonna put to bed. We're gonna go to bed. I'll be right back, okay?

[23:36] Oh, I'm real sorry about that firewood. That was totally my job. I missed it on the chores. Okay, I'm used to carrying us.

[23:41] My shoulders literally hurt from carrying the weight of maybe I can massage them with decadent oils. You can even put your pants on. That's fine. I'll be right back. Uh just please promise me. Look me in the eyes. Yes, no, over here. She starts to try. Uh please don't go anywhere. Or leave. Or anything else.

[24:03] Okay.

[24:04] Okay.

[24:05] Uh wait, do you want a pinky promise on this? Yeah, it might be best. Okay, good. It's an unbreakable vow. Okay. Okay, pinky.

[24:15] Alright, uh, go get some wood, do some other things. I assume you're gonna pass out because usually uh Trebb Belmont is kind of an expert on uh Ben Helsing at this point, and he knows that usually uh after about two hours of like peak craziness, uh you start to wind down from that specific shroom.

[24:33] Okay.

[24:34] Um I want to say that like my fly. As long as you only had one shroom. Yes, which is what you told me in the story. It was just the one. And is that how how many shroom roll for how many shrooms?

[24:42] How many actually ate?

[24:43] Yeah. 18. Okay. That's a little does uh Trevor Belmont know that you are not going to sleep anytime.

[24:52] I make sure you're going out by the firewood, and there's like just a whole crop of magic mushrooms, and you see a huge circle, somebody [expletive] chowed down in the middle of it.

[25:01] Just teeth marks all through the dirt. Oh my god, I need to get back.

[25:08] Yeah, I'm gonna say I'm passed out. Oh, you're actually asleep? Uh oh, I'm pretending.

[25:16] Okay, well, we gotta move the story along. So at some point, uh, we're gonna say you're gonna start to hallucinate. Okay, that's fine. What do I say?

[25:24] Was he not already hallucinating?

[25:25] Um well, true. Uh well, Shrooms takes a little bit to kick in. Yeah. I don't know. It's been funny. Don't ask me how I know more. Uh why don't you do some rolling uh to like see I don't know, like that is an eight for something. Welcome to that one where the rolls don't matter and we prepare it. Absolutely. It's like whose line or the points don't matter. Yeah, no, absolutely.

[25:53] Okay, what is that? What do you think that eight gets me? Below average. Like my life.

[26:00] Um, let's say that the eight uh gives you about, well, let's just say it's minutes. It's about eight minutes until uh I get back from whatever thing. Oh my god, that's a terrifying long amount of time. And now, all right, we'll actually set something before you actually roll. Roll for uh noticing something off in the woods. 19. Okay. Totally notice it. You there is something actually in the woods that you notice off in the distance.

[26:24] Posse! Posse, are you there? Yep. Is there anything in the woods besides Belmont, my boy? Probably. Oh my god, that's terrifying. Do you think you can do me a little favor and just go make sure it's not a clown?

[26:43] Yeah, sure. Whatever.

[26:44] Oh, thank you. Thank you, posse.

[26:48] Uh oh, sorry. See if I see anything. Okay. What is it? It's a 15. Yeah. Um, there is something out there. So uh I don't know. It's up to you. So wander back into camp.

[27:03] It's like, yeah, there's some stuff out there. Oh my god. Like, besides the trees. Okay. This is wow. Hmm. Do you think we should wait? No, I think we should charge out there. You and me, Posse, just like the old times. Me and the posse going to go fight a monster. Let me get my sword.

[27:23] I imagine you're saying that as you're walking, like away. Leaving the campsite in the other direction. Like you're not actually even talking to him, you're just talking to yourself.

[27:32] Monologuing. I think my sword is over here somewhere. Um, Posse, you look over there in that direction, and I'll look over here in this direction, and we'll see who can find it first.

[27:41] Just be at the campsite, just tending to it, make sure the fire doesn't burn the forest down again. Thank God. It's a good call. I'm gonna start wandering. All right.

[27:48] And we'll say uh, so Trevor Belmont gets back and uh does a couple things, goes to check on Van Helsing, and notices that you're gone. And then uh I call out to the posse. Uh, Posse, what's what's going on here? Where'd the Helsing go? He wandered off that way. What do you mean, wandered off? He's he no, he had one shroom, and he said that at exactly two hours, then eight minutes, and he falls asleep, and no, there's no possible way.

[28:13] I don't know what to tell you.

[28:15] He went that way. Okay, so you're basically telling me that all those shrooms we found elsewhere are already half munched on. You're saying he probably already engaged in, and now we have a completely like out of control, like manic van Helsing uh running through the woods. Yeah, it was just like last Thursday. Yeah. Oh [expletive]. Okay.

[28:35] Oh say like perfect timing. You hear Van uh Van Helsing in the woods like owls.

[28:40] I'm a werewolf now.

[28:42] Okay, well let's go round him up. If we do this fast enough, we can probably still get a couple hours of sleep before we uh we go. But us we have to be a little careful. There's a festival in the village this weekend, so this evening, it's for our autos, so that's probably not good. Yeah, best we'd round him up before you know he gets a little uh spooked.

[29:00] Here I am now, talking to myself out here in the woods. It's been probably days that I've been on my own, complete darkness, probably spell from a witch of some sort has cursed me with those delicious mushrooms.

[29:14] And as that happens, you there are like two like young kids, um, one dressed as like cla the little girl's like a classic witch, and the boy is, I don't know, uh Chris, give me give me a costume. Just any sheet ghost. Yeah, he's just a ghost and a sheet.

[29:30] Typical ghost and witch relationship. You two Starcross lovers, are you here to assault me? Uh hello, are you talking to us? Of course I am. I can see ghosts. I'm a monster hunter for crying out loud, and you witch. We're not ghosts, this is just costumes. Oh. You can lie to your friends, but you cannot lie to me. A monster hunter. For years I have been training. Where'd you go?

[29:59] Yeah, they just leave.

[30:01] Well, son of a [expletive]. Time to use my tracking skills that I've acquired in Sri Lanka. And I crawled out on all fours. Okay. And I'll just crawl through the woods.

[30:13] I want to say though, there's like a straight path now going to the village. So there's like noise and a bunch of stuff. You can even actually just see just a few paces ahead that there's the kids that are just walking.

[30:21] It turns out they were walking on a path. Yeah. Like it's all coupled over and everything.

[30:24] They obviously come this way numerous times. They've transformed the ground itself into hard stones.

[30:31] Uh so as you're just like, you know, monologue crawling across a paved road, um, you start to hear now like more voices, you hear laughter. It almost sounds like uh a carnival or some kind of festival, and it it's it's getting as you get to the center, you see more lights, some torches. Uh just looks like some channelings are going on there.

[30:51] What kind of devilry is going on tonight of all nights?

[30:54] Give me a role to see. I don't know what what do we want to call this? I guess perception for what figuring out what he sees. Basically, I just want to implement a role this whole game that's kind of like how lucid you are. Okay. Um, and then we'll decide how serious you take different scenarios based on.

[31:12] Okay. Well, I was a 13. So for my elucidity role.

[31:16] So going forward, we'll say high roles are more clear and low roles are are less clear. So, okay, so you can kind of tell that just some organized activities are going on.

[31:26] Probably crime. Organized crime, it's the worst kind of crime. I didn't specify.

[31:31] It's organized. Like, oh my god, Posse. There's two things that could happen. Either he comes to his census and realizes a carnival going on, or he's gonna immediately jump to the conclusion that it's organized crime. He always does this. Don't worry, I brought the flyers with me. I'll just hand them out afterwards. It says, sorry, my friend's an idiot. He thinks he thinks you guys are participating in organized crime. Call this number if you have any grievances.

[31:54] Perfect picture of me on all fours wrong and moves.

[32:01] Good job, Posse. Now, this organized crime has to have a ringleader. There's a tent over there. I'm sure he's not in there. I will start with these smaller tents with these adorable stuffed animals.

[32:17] What were like medieval games? Are we gonna say like axe throwing? Like, what do you think would be like kind of like a medieval carnival game?

[32:23] Would that even be a game? Like, that's just kind of a thing, you know? Yeah, all right. I don't know. Well, all right, well then what do you got for you?

[32:29] I don't know. They had that thing, like the Maypole where they had like the little flags coming off and they all twirled around it. Things weren't great back then, right? I don't really know what they had going on.

[32:39] But I'm sure accent knife throwing would be like us having a game of like Instagram checking.

[32:46] Wow, okay. That's fair. I'll I'll give you that then. Well, then I guess they'll just like who can ever lash their wife the best. I guess maybe that's what I call dibs. But sorry, you have to enter a wife. You have to be married.

[33:02] No, no, no, no. I'll take this guy's, I'll take this fella's.

[33:05] It's the little girl that was dressed as a witch.

[33:08] Tie her up, tie her up. Now, I borrowed this whip from my friend Belmont. He's my best friend. Now, this whip has a bunch of razors and stuff on it, so we have to be extremely careful for you not to pass out from the pain.

[33:20] Now, you're like cheering and like don't worry, little ghost. Roll acrobatics. Let's see how good you are with the whip, because that's not your usual weapon. It's a natural one. A natural one.

[33:37] Is it natural? It wraps around her now. Yeah. Just imagine you go to sling it and you just whack yourself in the back of the head with it.

[33:44] Son of a [expletive]! There's a succubus nearby. It's wrapping itself around me. Yo, this is your fault, you little witch ghost. Are you gonna swing again? No. This thing's obviously been cursed. It hasn't been in Belmont's position. Oh, shut up, you little worm. You were just wandering in the woods. Don't act like anybody actually cares about you. They wouldn't let their actual kid wander off in the woods.

[34:11] So at that point, the posse and Belmont enter the town. The posse is one piece. It's crazy. He's not gonna have a name though. He's just because like we're not gonna declare. So what's left of the posse, aka the posse? Uh we're gonna be like, oh, it's even worse than I thought. Do you see these tracks on the ground? He was kneeling. He was crawling around on all fours. See, those are hand prints, and then those are just knees. And then he got up. What made him get up? Drugs, probably. Yeah, well, what it's usually two things though. It's to eat, to tip a cow, and I guess the third thing would be, oh my god, he's trying to whip a random stranger.

[34:11] You see me in the distance, like uh, so we'll head over, and there's like a big ruckus now. Like you kind of made a big scene. People are like freaking out. Do I see you? Um roll for it. 20. Really? Wow, okay. Yeah, you do. Very perceptive.

[35:09] Yeah, like just through the crowd. Belmont, my boy! Belmont, somebody cursed your whip. They must have stolen it from you and used it against me.

[35:18] So, with that, let's uh do persuasion. Let's see if like you convince the crowd. Um that's a three. Okay, so the crowd thinks you're just insane, and instead of like punishing Van Else or Trevor Belmont, they'll come up and be like, hey, you need to get this guy under control. Like he is he is out of, he like he just tried to whip like a young woman, and we clearly don't do that unless they're at least of age and able to burn children.

[35:42] And my bones hurt, and he parked the wrong way in the driveway. Look at the horses, he needs to turn them around so we can see the carriage plate. Get this fella out of here.

[35:53] I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Vincent, come come with me, come with me. Yes, my boy, yes. How did you get my whip? I found it. How did you find it on me? Because I wear it at all times.

[36:03] There's this new carrier pigeon delivery service, you see, and I wrote on a note, I want Belmont's whip, and I gave it to the posse, and the posse went and took it from you while you were bathing and gave it to me. It's quite the the newfangled thing.

[36:18] I just imagine it's like a trail of dead birds, like wherever we go, with like different notes that just like say stuff that didn't actually happen.

[36:25] I'm thinking about naming it after this crazy river I saw on the Amazon.

[36:30] What what river was that? The Amazon. Okay, excellent. Listen, we need to get you out of here. Uh I need you I need to know how many shrooms you had. I I think I miscalculated. I thought you had one. I'm getting the inclination that that number was maybe above 17 and perhaps below 19.

[36:51] What is one, really? Like one handful, one bushel, one foot. Yes, it's just it's it's a singular set of something. One is absolutely correct.

[37:02] That's greater than zero and less than two. Yes. So one. No, but you you had yes, you had one, and then you had one again, and then you had one again. Uh-huh. And how many times did that happen?

[37:12] Oh, that happened at least 19 times.

[37:15] Holy [expletive].

[37:16] I know I lost count, but then I started getting count back. It was the craziest thing.

[37:20] Passing behind his hands. No, you let go of me. Uh roll uh we'll roll strength against each other. Uh I'm three, eighteen. And you have insane uh tweaker [expletive].

[37:33] I am high.

[37:36] So I wouldn't say you like throw me into the crowd and like run off again. You just assume that we're not your friends. Okay.

[37:44] Some kind of imposter. I start skinwalkers probably stolen the suits of my friends. Little do they know I'm as strong as a god right now. I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. Where was I? Oh, cotton candy.

[38:02] Okay, so listen, Posse. At this point in time, he usually gets hungry. This is about third snack. So I don't know. Medieval snack time. Uh there's a [expletive] uh leg of turkey over there. And that's too much. No, he's not a turkey guy. He likes he likes uh beef, you know. Uh so I doubt it's that. So he's probably looking for something sweet. Um it's a cotton candy place over there. Yeah, that makes literally no sense the time period, but that's exactly what he'd become. It's a real contraption.

[38:31] They spin the sugar. Ah, there is. Damn skinwalkers are crafty. I need to duck. Excuse me, cotton candy vendors, sir. Do you mind if I try to take this cotton candy and wrap it around my face to make it look like some kind of disguise to fool those skinwalking creeps over there? Yeah, sure, as long as you pay me.

[38:50] How much is it? Uh, for you? Like he like looks at the sign that says two gold or like two silver, and then he's like, five gold.

[38:59] Ooh, that is a fair price indeed. That man over there will pay for me.

[39:05] I just imagine the whole time you're talking to him, you just have your hand in the thing. You're just gathering it up.

[39:17] Uh so as they approach, uh, I'm gonna say uh you s roll a stealth. 16. 16. So yeah, it it looks like the way you're like holding it, it looks like somebody is holding like a thing of cotton candy in front of your face and it's like blocking who you are. Oh, okay. Uh I don't know.

[39:37] Somehow you you created like I got my hand in there, and then he like notices my hand, so then I put like my foot in there, and I'm gonna wrap my foot around.

[39:44] Like cotton candy, man. Have you seen uh there's a gentleman uh completely out of his mind, probably offered to pay you at least 10 times what you were selling? Uh and I guess I'm talking to myself here. Uh yeah, yeah, I saw him a little while ago. Uh he stuck me with your tab, actually. Uh so yeah, give me five gold and I'll tell you uh exactly where he is. I'll pull it out of the pocket that I keep. There's like a piggy bank that's like emergency uh tweaker fund. Yeah, it gets used a lot. Yeah, yeah. Like you shake it and like one, maybe one gold comes out. And like, could you take one gold? Listen, our friend is absolutely insane.

[39:44] And I mean it's just cotton candy, it's literally like air and fiber, basically. Um yeah, whatever, yeah. Uh, but hey, you might want to head out. He uh I told him something about acting like a clown and he freaked the [expletive] out. So I think he might be going over to that carnival tent. Uh okay, well, I'm really done talking to myself over and over again, trying to play two characters. So we're gonna progress the story, and I'm gonna head on over to that tent and see just exactly what's going on.

[40:44] Here I am ahead of them, walking towards that tent. Now I have my disguise. Cotton candy on my face, in my hair, on my eyebrows, in my Merkin.

[40:56] And that's when it happens, you make eye contact with the clown. I don't do anything. I stand perfectly still.

[41:02] I'm monologuing this loudly. I'm looking at them.

[41:05] He like looks at you and then like comes out and like does some like weird gestures and then like hunks his honks his nose.

[41:13] Oh, oh, Jesus! Oh wait. Has Jesus been around yet? These are things I do not care about. Now, Avast ye where's my sword? You there, the child dressed as a knight.

[41:27] There's literally no one around at this point, by the way. Like, you are not talking to anybody. You are like, roll a lucid check.

[41:35] That's only a nine.

[41:36] Yeah. I'd say that wasn't a child. Like, that was like maybe like a dog, like just walking by or something. Like, the clowns, like, you're funny, man. You should also be a clown.

[41:45] You take that back, you son of a [expletive]. I would never become one of you and join this auspicious cult you call clown.

[41:54] I want to imagine that the cotton candy you stole happened to be orange cotton candy. Just covered in just big poofs of orange everywhere.

[42:02] It's like, well, you already got the hair.

[42:04] I mean, you're already your nose is already awfully red.

[42:08] It's because I drink an excessive amount of alcohol. Um, and why are your shoes so big? Well, we stepped on some fire ants earlier. When Oh my god, you're not wearing any shoots at all. That's your face. Oh yes, the posse were cleaning my boots again, because I was stepped in cowshit. Tomato tomato. Why am I telling you this, clown? How dare you burrow into my mind and try to steal my darkest secrets?

[42:33] Did I mention the free boarding and food? What kind of food do you say? Uh, beef. I do love beef. Sir actually, we get sirloins after a major show, like tonight. Like, there's a show tonight. In fact, here, why don't you come join us for the show?

[42:49] Very well, one second while I monologue into my pocket. I shall join the clowns for now. Let them befriend me. I will find their leader and behead him. So anywho, where's your leader?

[43:04] No relation to what I said to my pocket. Another clown comes up, like, hey man, this guy is really [expletive] funny. Like, you have to get him on stage. He is gonna crack this stage, like these people up. And uh they like both guys like put their arms around you and they like bring you over, like walk you.

[43:20] Gently now I know you have razors hidden in your palms.

[43:23] And then uh so Trent Belmont's like, possibly this is getting real bad. If if I know my friend, which I do, he's probably trying to infiltrate the entire clown organization right now, which he thinks is again organized crime, when in fact it is just a performing circus. And uh more than likely he will try to blow up this this he will Molotov cocktail this entire ten killing everybody inside.

[43:46] Ah, like last Tuesday.

[43:48] Yes. I still do like literally I don't know how he was like getting around without like this press. Like it just he literally murdered tons of performers. Like and now like these people come from all over the world, like we have enemies. In Ukraine. We have any like everywhere. Korea. Korea. Like I just we can't take another nationality against us here. We need somebody on our side, even if it's just you, Posse. Yeah, well. Well, somebody else. Okay. Moving on. We need to stop him before he infiltrates the circus and destroys it and brings it all down.

[44:19] So now, clowns, tell me, would you say that this structure of workplace development is organized by any chance?

[44:33] Oh yeah. I mean, everybody thinks we just make the jokes up on the fly, but obviously we prepare, you know, we organize. We work as a team. We're a team here, right? You scratch our back, we uh mr mr yours. I whispered back into my pocket.

[44:46] I [expletive] knew it. Belmont's always lying to me. There's always someone organized criminals running about causing a muck. I will find this leader clown. What is his name? Hold on, let me check. Oh, there's a marquee over there. Bozo. No, that can't be it. That's a dumb name. A clown leader has a manly name. Like, hmm, I don't know what yet. So choppy. So, anyways, please direct me to what you need me to do so I can become one of you and not be suspicious in any way whatsoever, and I can get the meats.

[45:23] Man, this guy cracks us. Oh, he is so Alright, listen. We just need you an act. And even if you don't have any talent, you can just throw some bottles around. Can you juggle?

[45:30] I cannot juggle, but my partner can. And then I opened it. Is he talking about the pocket again? I open up my jacket. Yeah, he's talking about the pocket. And there's a little mouse in there with a pirate hat on. He's like, This is Pirate Master Scruffy.

[45:47] Holy [expletive], McNibbles.

[45:52] Attack.

[45:53] And it actually does. Go ahead and roll for animal handling.

[45:56] 16!

[45:57] Okay, it literally like [expletive] jumps on that guy and like gnaws at his throat. Yes, McNibbles. You start to hear like uh another like a female clown screams, and then they're like, is that part of the act? And we're like, we don't know if it's part of an act. Everything's fine here. Like, we have to go on in like five minutes, though. Somebody's gotta fill in now for Scruffle's big dope.

[46:20] Come back, Mr. McNibbles. Now, little fun fact. As I'm whispering this into like the now hurt clown's ear on the ground. Little fun fact for you. McNibbles' claws are laced with a gift. You will die a slow and painful death. That's what you get for being a clown.

[46:47] We'll switch back to Trevor Belmont and and uh and uh and posse.

[46:56] I can't remember your name. You don't even have a name. It's Posse. It's Posse.

[47:00] And uh basically one of the that like female clown comes out, like, I don't know what the [expletive]'s going on, man. I was just told I had to like show my [expletive] and juggle around, and then suddenly some guy gets like attacked by a mouse, and then uh then uh Tro Belmont makes icon with a posse. Like, does that sound like what I think it sounds like? Last Monday. How many days didn't we got that? And also, I thought we killed that [expletive] rat. Oh, I didn't. I specifically said kill that [expletive] rat. He's going to use it to claw someone's neck. I mean, I killed a rat. No, he has multiple. Like that's what he does. When when we when we go to bed and he stays up, he's trading rats.

[47:00] It's an actually, I've seen it actually at the Renaissance fair. It's it's very bizarre. We did see that. We did see that at the renaissance. Anyway, go back. Uh all right, then uh Posse, go quickly. Uh I don't know. How do we how do we stop the show, Posse? We we have to before if they if he goes on set, we won't be able to stop him. He'll be unstoppable.

[48:02] Ladies and gentlemen.

[48:05] We're too late. Yeah. Or like, if we can't beat him, drive. See how that goes.

[48:14] Gather around. I have infiltrated this group of organized criminals. They look to be clowns. They are in fact clowns. I want to say that like I roughed them all up and they're all tied up in the center of the ring now. Now, behold, as I am now their primary jury and executioner. Well, me and of course, high pirate Captain McNibbles here. Isn't that right, McNibbles? You little McNibbles.

[48:44] Anyways, now some guy in like the front row is like, this wasn't on the program.

[48:50] You close that devil book and pay attention to me. This is a crime.

[48:54] Why is he kissing a rat covered in blood?

[48:58] Now, you four clowns are being tried against the crime of clownery in the second degree. How do you plead?

[49:08] And just then, the one you clawed, like the neck out, he's like crawls onto the stage and like just is like, help me. And then people start screaming like in the audience. And they they're realizing this is not an act.

[49:22] Don't worry about him. Everyone, calm down. He's just a decoy from these own clowns. He's already been found guilty of clowning. McNimbles took care of that.

[49:30] Posse check the door. I think he already locked. He locked all the gates of this tent.

[49:35] So now everything's got like four pitchforks and [expletive]. Now, everyone will listen to me. Looking me into the eyes, into my large, dilated eyes. Now, what were we talking? Oh, yes, clowns. They would tell me if they were innocent or guilty had McNibbles not ripped out their tongues already. I wanna go home. Shut the [expletive] up, you little whipper snapper. This is important to know. This is justice in the making. Now you watch this. This is history. Now, clowns, are you guilty? Yes, I'm so guilty. Thank you, McNibbles. They are in fact guilty. Now, for the punishment. I'm thinking Moltav cocktail.

[50:24] Yeah.

[50:24] Pull it out. At that point. Okay.

[50:26] So uh let's roll. Roll to see how uh bad the damage is. Only a seven. Uh a seven. So you try to like light the ten on fire, but it just like lights the net that like catches the acrobatics. [expletive] crazy. Um and so now there's just like a fire, and it's getting a little smoky because we can't let a lot of air out because of the way you like kind of enclose the net.

[50:47] So there's a lot of like people like I don't feel so good, mister. Like, can we please leave? Oh my goodness, this isn't going how I planned it all. Oh okay. It's time Van Helsing saves the day again. And I reach into my other pocket and I pull out this old like Viking blowhorn, and I'm like, Ratch Posse, assemble!

[51:14] Hopefully they come.

[51:16] Yeah. Um, I want to say nothing. It happens. Um, and then we'll just end it there. We'll say that uh Van Helsing, or sorry, Trevor Beaumont and the posse do what they normally do. Um basically kill everybody so there's no witnesses.

[51:31] Yeah.

[51:31] Um, and then they quickly uh grab Van Helsing's, like cut away out of the tent. Um grab you some kind of meat. Yeah, grab you still go along. Correctly burn down the entire tent so there's no evidence. And then they have this like list of towns we're allowed to go to, and we just like cross another cenarity. We're like Van Helsing. I don't uh you know I don't like tying you up like this, but uh we can't keep doing this. There's not enough villages in this. I mean, the Black Plague just happened. Some people some of these towns are totally wiped out, the ones that are left you're burning down. We can't keep doing this, alright? We need I think it's time. Van Helsing?

[52:09] Yes, I'm here. I was just in awestruck of you, Belmont, my boy. Yes, because you are so amazing. The the fact that you knew that there was organized clown crime here in this town, and you fed me those mushrooms to get me to basically turn into a berserker and go in with high pirate Captain McNibbles and basically wipe them out. That was the best plan I've ever seen in my life, my boy.

[52:35] It's just like hugging you and like rubbing your back. I think it's time we need to fight Dracula and kill him. Uh for real. I think so too. It'll clear up a lot of this confusion. That's the only way we're gonna get back on the good side of this world. Alright, we either need to kill some Scourge, or we need to beat Blade at anything, which we can't do. He's stronger than me. He's luckier than you.

[53:02] His rock, paper, scissors game's amazing. And he's blacker than Posse. Oh, he's really good at hide and seek in the dark.

[53:10] So it's either beat him and become the ultimate monster hunters, uh-huh. Or kill Dracula, who is handicapable, but is also the scourge of the earth.

[53:18] Ooh, what if we do one better, my boy? We invite Blade to come kill this Dracula. Oh, yeah. So he takes the thought, but we take the credit.

[53:28] Yes.

[53:29] Which is and then after he's weakened from handicapable Dracula, we strike him down. No witnesses, and then maybe we kill the posse. Depending on how much the posse's heard already. Oh yes. McNibbles. Be on high alert. I might need you again.

[53:46] Okay. We'll talk about this more in the morning.

[53:48] Good night, Vennozing. Oh, good night, my boy. What was that out there? I should go investigate it.

[53:54] It just cuts to like the little like witch girl like tied to like a tree.

[54:00] The posse's out there like sticking up for information. What did you see? I have to do this in every [expletive] town, you little [expletive]. What did you see?

[54:12] Well, per usual, absolutely no structure, no plan. Um, all for your enjoyment. But good laughs. Good laughs. We hope you enjoyed. Uh, but yeah, I think we need to have like a culminating. I think there needs to be uh Van Helsing and Trebelmont need to like kill a monster.

[54:29] I think so. It might be time. It's been a while.

[54:31] That is what they originally partnered up to do, and it might be time. And if there's not Dracula, if it's not Blade, it's gotta be something bigger. Ooh. Something badder. Lochness monster, Bigfoot.

[54:41] What is that hairy beast over there?

[54:43] Okay, I get like that your wife called me hairy, but you don't need to refer to me that way. Super rude. I'm sorry. Thank you so much for listening to our show. If you enjoyed what you heard, that's odd, but we don't hate it. Uh, go ahead and follow us on social media. We're on Instagram, we're on Facebook, Nat One Presents. Uh, it's NAT numero one presents. Uh you can uh of course subscribe to our become a patron and support our show, help us get better equipment, better opportunities, better better fans. Fans that actually engage with us. Right. It's only a dollar. Anyway, join the Patreon. Get you for a dollar, you get the uh early access episodes, video episodes. You also get a bonus episode once a month for the five dollar tier.

[54:43] And at $10, we'll make you a character. Yes. Much like posse, but but worse.

[55:29] Oh, you can join the posse.

[55:30] Yeah, you could join the posse. You could be whatever you want, honestly. If you want to be a badass, you want to be a pirate rat? Pirate rat. We will make a character after you and we will reference you every so often as we see fit. I love that. For as little as $10 a month.

[55:43] Yes. You'll never die twice in the same episode. Probably. Promise you that, maybe.

[55:51] And with that, we will talk to you next week.

[55:54] Bye. See ya.