The Enemy of My Enemy is... Nayenezgani
Edited audio transcript

Edited from an automatic transcription of the original recording. Strong language is masked; selected personal asides and adult material are marked [Editorial omission.]. Transcription errors may remain, especially in names and lyrics. Timestamps come from the source; paragraphs split for readability can share a timestamp. The original recording contains adult language and themes. Announcements and offers reflect the recording date.
Source: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1880667/episodes/12174962-the-enemy-of-my-enemy-is-nayenezgani.mp3

[0:15] Hello and welcome to Nat One Presents the Daft Monks Podcast. Hey Nate.

[0:20] How's it going, Nate?

[0:21] It's going, man.

[0:23] We're back three weeks in a row. I think it's official. We can actually say the show is back and staying.

[0:29] We're back on the train. And we all know how much Nate enjoys trains. Love a good train, Nate. Uh what's uh what's new in your world? Well, not much except for in our DD campaign, I single-handedly destroyed a dragon.

[0:44] You mean you got the kill shot after never landing a single hit the entire fight.

[0:50] Correct. I I missed uh three shots up to that, and then I died. Uh failed a saving throw, was brought back, and then rolled over onto my fat belly because I am playing as uh Van Helsing, and I shot with my rifle, and that was the final blow. And it seemed like the entire time the DM was like, come on, somebody, just kill him. He's got [expletive] like two HP left, somebody just [expletive] kill him. And I was that guy, Nate.

[1:19] Must be nice. My meanwhile, my 80-year-old, so I'm also playing as bingo in that universe. I I guess for our like our listeners, you'll never hear it because you're not only Donnie is the only fan who possibly might know of this like alternate parallel universe. But I imagine what we're playing in that campaign is like right after we left the Belmont household with Bingo and Van Helsing, we ended up going to Cholt and Bingo like lies and tells Belmont or tells Van Helsing that Belmont is dying and ill and they have to go to Cholt. But really, he's just doing it because he owes some people some money and has to like get something out of this mine.

[1:53] Yes.

[1:54] So this is like a parallel universe where we went to Cholt, even though that's not what's happening during that.

[1:58] Not canon.

[1:59] Uh no, it was a fun time. But me, what kind of blew my mind was like definitely me and this imp familiar were doing a majority of the damage, and I'm just this like 90-year-old rogue doing like these like crazy acrobatic, like jumping off like crates onto the dragon's back, like landing daggers between its scales, grabbing in like scabbards and wedging them in between, and you guys are just just there.

[2:24] Oh, yeah. It was totally embarrassing. At one point, you flew on top of the dragon, stabbed him, stuck into his side, and then had another attack while holding onto the dagger that was stuck in the dragon floating mid-air. And you are an elderly man, and I am a capable adult male who caught on fire and just fell down.

[2:45] We have two bugbears in our party, like two like you know, brawly kind of guys. And my thought process was let's let me get in behind this dragon so we can like flank, get like some flanking advantages. That was it. I was just supposed to position myself to help the rest of the party, but it became very clear that you guys were not gonna get the job done. And Bingo, uh, he did some damage, so pretty proud of him.

[3:08] Oh, yeah. At one point you used uh every weapon that you could equip, and all of your weapons were stuck in the dragon. Exactly.

[3:17] I had that either rapier sticking out of his tail, I had a short story like further up his back, and then I was just stabbing him with as many daggers as I had.

[3:24] That poor dragon, man. I know.

[3:26] It's just like a baby red dragon, too. Like we're not we weren't fighting God guys, like we were like, you know, some kind of like crazy elder dragon or white dragon or whatever. Nope, it was just like a baby red dragon.

[3:36] Yeah, he had it coming though. He had it coming.

[3:39] What's what's like what's in the headlines for you, Nate? I got I got one little follow-up to last episode, right? I was talking about Squid Games, if you remember, and my friend reached out knowing that um I had like tried to get on the show, and she's like, Hey, did you know three people are already hospitalized who are participating in the Squid Games reality TV?

[3:59] Like, what happened to where they're getting hospitalized?

[4:02] It seemed a little bit like fake news or like clickbait because reading about it more, like three people do go to the hospital, but I guess like because there's been like sub-zero temperatures where they've been recording, which I'm like, get over it. I don't know. Like, that's like that's why they should have put me in, right? I'm already like sleeping out in tents for the National Guard and doing dumb [expletive] like that. Like you're trained. I would have been totally yeah, I'm trained, you know, trained assassin, as it were. Basically. Um, but no, I was thinking that they were like literally like injuring people with the activities. I thought that would have been hilarious if like I ended up dodging a bullet and like everybody's just getting like seriously messed up during the show.

[4:39] Some huge lawsuit where people are falling through plates of glass.

[4:43] Yes, exactly. That would have been that would have been kind of ironic and and funny for me. But honestly, it just made me want to be on the show more on it to be fair.

[4:53] Oh, you would have already outlasted three other people, no doubt.

[4:57] No, right? It just it all would have lined up, man. I felt like that would have been my chance. Maybe season two if it doesn't get sued. Right. Insanely.

[5:04] But I could see it. It's total clickbait trying to get some traction going for the new show. Like, hey, this is how dangerous the show is. Three people hospitalized. Yeah. We'll see if it even makes it to Airnate. Right. They're like, we knew we shouldn't have had Alec Baldwin out here with a red light, green light holding a gun. [expletive] dangerous.

[5:25] Oh I thought that guy's career was over, but I think he like has started doing like another project, and I'm like, it takes balls to murder accidentally murder somebody, and then be like the lady. These things happen.

[5:41] And then the audacity, and I guess I don't know how else to say it, but just like his devil may care attitude of not my fault. Like, okay. Like, have you seen anybody else handle a firearm in movies? Like, look at Keanu Reeves or Will Smith. Like, they handle firearms like a firearm instructor, but then you get [expletive] Alec Baldwin out there, and he's just like, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow. Ooh, it went off on accident, real bullet in there.

[6:13] Yeah, I we're not even gonna go down that path with the hard craft questions. I understand you probably need to tell your yourself things to sleep at night of like it wasn't my fault, but that's like in your bed. Not I would definitely not pick up my acting career again after that. Like, find a new hobby, find something else. Also, he's not like short on money, I doubt, with all his different projects and from his family. So, like, do something else, it's fine. You don't need to act, but you shouldn't keep doing the thing you did that ended someone's life. I'm sorry.

[6:42] I would have ended after 30 Rock because I thought he was hilarious on that show. And like, just end while you're on the top, you know, like you're the best. End right now.

[6:51] Was that before or after his like phone calls to his daughter that were like aired? Do you remember those?

[6:56] That was before, yeah. That was before.

[6:59] I think um, yeah, because I'm like, that was a good time to stop, especially if he had recovered a little bit from those phone calls by doing 30 Rock. I don't remember the timeline, but yeah, I agree. 30 Rock really where it should have stayed.

[7:12] Yeah, should have just stopped right there. Wild.

[7:16] Nate, I hear you've been uh I know you rarely have time for television with you know our antics and your family and your job, but I I heard you picked up one of my favorite shows.

[7:26] Oh yes, I just finished today, actually, uh Vox Machina season two. So as far as DD news goes, that's a big deal. Uh this one was not as um super R-rated as the first season, basically because the first season, the very first episode, a bunch of [expletive] were popping up all over the screen. But this one's a little bit more chill, so I was able to watch it with the kids kind of around. There's people exploding and [expletive], but whatever. They see me play Mortal Kombat. But I think it was good. It was extremely short, and there was like a they had like a bunch of dragons team up together, and now they have to battle this team of dragons. And after our little campaign, that really hit close to home, you know.

[7:26] I'm like, oh, I killed the dragon, what's the big deal? But they're fighting like three ancient dragons, not babies.

[8:15] Is it so? What do you think? Well, what do you think about season one? Because we never I think when I talked about it earlier on in the season, which was a year ago, I wasn't a huge fan. Like it was exactly what I expected, like a bunch of like adults making jokes around a table, and I just didn't think it like translated. Yes, it wasn't a show that had good writers on it, it was just like right they took jokes from improv and then animated it, and that doesn't necessarily make for for me like super compelling television.

[8:41] Right. The story itself wasn't very cohesive at all in the first season, and I think they took notes because the second season, I think it's only six episodes, but every episode immediately follows the the story. Nice, and they definitely changed that up a bit. But the first one, I appreciated some of the the jokes specifically when like when they're stuck at the door and they can't unlock it, and he's trying to pick the lock, and he's like, What is this demon door? You know, it's pure evil. Like I was cracking up bad because I could see that in any DD campaign, you're trying to roll, you're supposed to be a professional thief for crying out loud, and you can't pick this super easy [expletive] door, and then somebody ends up getting injured in the process.

[8:41] I loved that part. That was my favorite part of season one.

[9:30] No, I get it. Um, yeah, like I said, I I think I'll probably I was thinking just the other day, even before you mentioned it, like I wanted to go back and give it another chance, like a fresh set of eyes. Could have just been in a bad mood that week or not feeling it. So it's happened with shows before where I go back and I end up loving it the second time. Yeah, I don't know. Um, it won't beat like a Harman quest for me or Castlevania or Dragon's Blood or Dogma or whatever. Like there's a bunch of Netflix animes, and I'd kind of just rather watch those.

[9:59] Right. And I could see a serious problem with uh season two for you specifically, because I know that you don't like how Critical Role takes themselves so seriously and kind of holds themselves as like the gold standard for DD shows. And season two is definitely more serious, like it is their serious attempt at a season, I think.

[10:20] I I don't know. If the writing is better, and I get why, like I'm not saying the writing is bad from season one, but like we like we said, like it it's like it happened organically and like uh played and performed, and then they just translated it as best as possible. But I'd be curious if season two is like especially if they consolidate the six episodes, maybe they edited it in a way that makes it like seem stronger. So I'll I'll give it a chance.

[10:41] Right. And then like I wanted to see the real clip of when the door thing happened, and then that got me down this like dark rabbit hole of the character that used to be on the show. His name was like Tiberius, he was a uh dragonborn sorcerer, and I'm like, who the [expletive] is this guy? But they axed him and he quit the show or he fired from the show, whichever you want to say it, later down the road. And I'm like, oh man. So now I started watching all these episodes and like theories on what happened to Tiberias and reading all the comments, and it was bananas, man.

[11:16] Oh, give us some juicy.

[11:17] What's like some of the more interesting, probably Oh, he was just like a terrible power player where he wanted to do all these things, and Matt was like, No, you can't do that. And he's like, Come on, come on, let me do it. He's like, No, you can't do that. Like, come on. Or he would uh retro what his character was doing all the time. If he wanted to like get in a conversation, he'd be like, Oh, I'm I'm outside, and then somebody's having a good conversation, and then he steps in with some role play. He's like, Oh, I walked back in, like, I'm here now for the conversation. Like, and everything he did was just so cringe, and things that you hate when you play DD with people.

[11:55] Oh, yeah, that sounds brutal.

[11:57] But it was fun to watch.

[12:00] In other DD news, actually, uh, I sent you the trailer. There's um a D movie, seems like on the horizon pretty soon. I think we even in earlier episodes this season with that year gap, I think we actually covered started talking about a year ago with no details, and now we actually have the trailer. It actually didn't look terrible, right?

[12:18] I liked it, but then again, I'm a sucker for any of these kind of movies like Mortal Kombat. I loved. I actually liked the World of Warcraft movie. I know. So this I'm automatically gonna love. I loved the original Dungeons and Dragons movie with the purple guy that we talked about. Yeah, I loved that.

[12:34] Blue Lips man, big fan.

[12:35] Yeah, yeah. I don't even know what the [expletive] he is, but I loved him.

[12:38] We've already done this episode where you know you tried to spend all this time and figure out what he was and how upset you were about the dwarf with the secret passage right outside.

[12:47] Convenience. I hate convenience. Absolutely convenience storytelling.

[12:50] Well, yeah, it looks pretty good. I'm not a big fan of whichever Chris. I forgot which Pine. He's not like my favorite, he's very, I don't know, he's like cheesy. Like it made sense for Captain Kirk, but I don't know if I'm gonna love it for DD, but it might be the right mix of characters, so we'll see.

[13:05] Right, and he's playing a bard, so cheesy bard equals fun. And then uh the paladin looks pretty badass from what I've seen, and so does the barbarian. Nope, the chick's the barbarian. Oh yeah. The paladin was the uh dark-skinned guy, and he looked pretty badass as well.

[13:22] You know what I know him from, Nate, and you're gonna laugh at me. I've been really into uh it's that Netflix show by the chick who made Grey's Anatomy, but it's like it's a time period like romance piece.

[13:34] And um set in like England or something.

[13:37] Yeah, yeah, you know what I'm talking about, right? I can't remember what it's called, but um he's in that and he's like the like steamy love interest guy. So seeing him as the paladin, I'm like, oh, I'm okay with it. I'm down.

[13:49] Like, I'll watch that.

[13:50] Uh yeah, no, I I think the characters seemed right. You know, the casting seemed mostly right. I just don't really love Chris Pine, but I I agree for a Bard it actually seems kind of appropriate. So I'm I'm curious, I don't know much else about it. I don't want to look too much because you know I got opinions, and so I'm just gonna wait, and maybe it's something we go see in theaters, who knows?

[14:09] Right. There was uh only one issue that I had with the trailer. I'm just assuming that these are all low-level characters coming into an adventure together as their first adventure. But the [expletive] druid can shape shift into an owlbear, and you cannot shape shift into an owlbear into a way later level. And that instantly took me out of it. Like, you can turn into a wolf, turn into a bear, but you cannot turn into an owlbear right now, unless you're like [expletive] level 13 or some [expletive]. So stop it.

[14:38] And he knows his [expletive]. You can't get nothing by him. No, but at least it seems like they're sticking to the source material this time, right? Versus whatever that that other movie was. I don't know.

[14:47] Right. So I I think I have high hopes for it, but then again, I have high hopes for Mortal Kombat number two whenever the [expletive] that comes out.

[14:54] Please hope there's a tournament in that one. That would be that would be great.

[14:58] Just put what's his teeth, Ryan Reynolds, in there as Johnny Cage, and then just let that be the movie. Like God, just let that happen. Ask Sonia, or you know what? Make Sonia his love interest. She might actually be interesting if Ryan Reynolds is going after her. Who knows?

[15:13] Oh, it was so bad. And we talked about this because listen back. I felt so bad because like we were dunking on Sonia. But again, I just want to reiterate Sonia is a badass in the games and the movie, like, she's not a joke, and I just felt like she was a punchline in that. Like the whole movie. Look how tough I am, guys. Come on, look how tough I am, and then everybody, like, you know, like literally just being dunked on by [expletive] Kano all the time and everything else. Like, I just didn't like that interpretation of Sonia because there are so few good, not over-sexualized female characters, and I just she's like one of the few, and then they just kind of meh.

[15:46] Ruined it. Yeah, especially when like Molina was on top of her and like licked her and like, oh, you're not worth my time. And then she just noped out, like, didn't even bother killing her. She's just like, nope, not worth my time. See you later, [expletive].

[15:59] How many times have you seen that movie?

[16:01] Um, I'm on probably like 10 or 11 right now.

[16:04] I haven't watched it since we saw it in Theatres together.

[16:06] Oh, you're missing out. You're missing out.

[16:08] I know. I need to go back and give it an example.

[16:11] But it's July.

[16:12] I'll just never forget the like dad moment where you just like had to lean over and tell me what was about to happen. Like you were just so proud of yourself. Like, hey, look at this.

[16:21] I knew it. I felt it in my bones that it was July. It can't be snowing, it's July.

[16:26] All right, Nate. Uh oh, I know what I want to do. I do want to jump into our new episode, but this character that we're gonna introduce today, I think needs like a little bit of like a historical background, or we can give it at the end of the episode of like the director's cut like type deal. But I I do think most people will not know who this person is, but it is actually our a reference to a cultural or historical figure.

[16:48] Right. No, I th I think that's fair. So, like what so something about me is that I love all things mythology, uh folklore, uh any kind of cultural tales that involve like supernatural. I am all about it. And when me and Nate were brainstorming monster slayers, we needed to bring in a new character, but I wanted to do something different. In my mind, I brought it up to Nate, and I want to do uh Naya Nezgani from Navajo mythology, and he's known as the Monster Slayer, or sometimes the God of War, but like that's a little bit iffy. And just to bring something different, and like as a a precursor thing, like I'm not doing this as a joke or anything like that, like I take this serious.

[16:48] I think it's my job to bring these lesser-known characters into our show. I I feel like they need to be talked about as well.

[17:47] Yeah, no, that sounded great. I I read up on it. I was really surprised that you pitched his character, but I I loved it and I didn't know you like I knew you were into like supernatural type stuff, but not even like from the historical or different cultural sense. And and so this is cool. So this is this is kind of like I don't want to say Native Americ is Native American even the right. What is it, the original tribe this guy?

[18:07] Uh Navajo. But uh there's actually roots that go back to the Incans, but I think the Navajo took it as their own, especially with the name Naya Nazgani. If I'm saying that, I hope I'm saying that right, by the way.

[18:19] Yeah, well, and we're gonna shorten it anyway for sure. Um but and then he was kind of like essentially a god that hunted aliens, right? Is that like an oversimplification sort of?

[18:29] Yes. So like uh another way that they translated it from the research that I've done, because I kind of knew about him before, but then I did a deep dive before we did this character. It was um the monster slayer, the god of war, the killer of enemies, and also um the killer of alien beings was the thing. So anything that's alien, so especially in like Navajo culture, like something's gonna be different. This guy's gonna [expletive] handle it if it's a danger to them, you know. It's cool as hell.

[18:59] Isn't that I don't know, again, I just did my quick like wiki research, which is all like 15 minutes, but he is a a twin, right? Something to that extent.

[19:09] Yes, and again, I'm sorry for the name bashing, but he does have a twin brother. Uh Nayanazgani was the oldest, and then his other brother was born after that, and it's uh to badge shishini or something like that. I can't say it. That's why we didn't use him, because I can't say his name that well. But he is more of uh I think his name translated to of water. So I think together the pair of brothers are supposed to be like a yin and yang kind of thing, and they actually fight monsters together. But the main slayer was Nayan Yazgani.

[19:44] Well, I'm really excited. We're gonna bring in a new character. I think a character that, like, frankly, I don't think has gotten like a ton of like kind of pop culture or whatever, like love or representation. And then just keep in mind, audience, all of our character, like the the point of our show is our renditions of all characters are the terrible people versions of them. So, you know, they're not meant to reflect like a group of people or a stereotype, it's just kind of more they're terrible people, like they're all terrible people.

[20:14] This is our disclaimer, yeah.

[20:16] This is you know, don't don't buy into it. And if you are, we apologize, but then you know, maybe that's just not the right show um for you, potentially, and that's okay as well.

[20:25] And uh, fun fact, Nate, uh he has been in DC and Marvel Comics, but only as like a blip. So like they brought up the name kind of deal. And also in one of your favorite shows, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, he was the one or like three or four slayers before Buffy, Nayan Asgani was, and it was actually on like one of the episodes which said his name.

[20:51] Okay, well, I'm excited for us to do whatever our version of him will be. Yeah, this will be, you know, we've been doing uh Belmont and and Van Helsing for quite a while, and so we've gotten very comfortable with those characters, but we want to introduce some fresh perspectives, some some new, like fun, you know, points of views. So you know what that always means when we try something new on this show. It's gonna suck. It gets not we'll see, guys. I'm sure it will get good, but uh bear with us. But I think it's worth taking these risks so that we can have um more interesting storylines. All right, enough of that boring stuff. Let's play some.

[20:51] I don't want to say dungeon dragons anymore because that's not even really what we're doing anymore, but let's let's play some deaf monks.

[21:33] Deaf monks roleplay. The darkness is approaching yet again. The vampires have outnumbered us four to one, and our hearts are not in our favor. It seems as if all hope is lost.

[21:53] I wouldn't quite say lost, and probably misplaced, or something along those lines. But either way, we're not full of that thing, and Belmont I didn't save you.

[22:10] Alright, we're back. So recapping last episode mate, Belmont leaves to Go do some reconnaissance at the site of Draccio's location or new castle, which he was able to discern from some documents in the catacombs beneath his home and then the ruins in the archive. Now he obviously gives Van Helsing and Bingo a set of rules, and you know, stay there, don't touch anything, I'll be back. You know, he's just kind of trusting them to do the right thing. With Van Helsing, obviously maybe very optimistic, but he actually sees Bingo as a very competent person from his short time with him, and maybe overly trusting, thinks that the two of them will stay on track while he's gone.

[22:10] And so during that time, that whole last episode was essentially a training montage where Bingo kind of pointed out that Van Helsing has gotten away from his roots, you know, from his his old swami ways that uh he was taught. And I'm gonna go ahead and inject here for a sec. The whole swami thing is a total joke. Obviously, Bingo is no religious leader. As you learn more and more about him, this character is a sham. Literally, his backstory is he is a real-life snake oil salesman. He sells snake oil.

[23:20] Yes.

[23:20] So hopefully, what you're starting to pick up, he's a very competent, sinister character. He has like the poor values of Van Helsing, but some of the like actual like skills and competencies of Belmont. So he's a very dangerous person that we we became to realize last episode. And so through a series of trials, he kind of frames Van Helsing, gets him to rat out accidentally in a letter to Dracula that Belmont is going to be uh performing some intelligence. And then two, he basically kind of pressures, I would say, right, uh or Van Helsing that he's like kind of lost his way and that he needs to come with him and that he's not a hero, right?

[23:20] Like this isn't his battle to fight, he's not equipped to fight Dracula, he won't survive, and that he's better off coming with bingo and going back to what they used to do, scamming and and doing you know shenanigans, as it were. And I left that choice up to you, actually, of whether or not you were gonna go. That wasn't scripted. You didn't know most of any of the events happening last episode, and and you chose to go with him.

[24:20] Yep. I think uh Van Helsing has made a definite character advancement where he's no longer a piece of [expletive], but I think Bingo saw through that and was like, you need to get back to your piece of [expletive] roots. And honestly, Van Helsing's torn between his teacher versus his new best friend forever, Belmont. So he is just so on the fence right now, he left that note for Belmont to find, hopefully, and then kind of begrudgingly went with Bingo because he felt like it was something that he owed to him.

[24:55] And I, you know, I think as you said, I think Van Helsing's become a better person, but he's still a coward, right? That hasn't changed. And so I think there's some like fear with bingo. I think he is somewhat afraid of what bingo will do if you don't go with him. You know, better to be with the devil than against him type deal.

[25:11] Right. And we don't know what kind of secrets bingo holds over Van Helsing at this point in the story.

[25:17] So that sounds good. So now we, you know, we did an episode with Bingo and Van Helsing, and now we're gonna switch back to Belmont. And the start of this episode is just like kind of passing a time, we'll kind of jump ahead a little bit. He goes to do some reconnaissance, is literally immediately captured upon arrival. Not a surprise at all, collects no information, and we're gonna pick up today as he's being like thrown into a uh cell at the bottom of Dracula's uh castle. But get your hands off me, you filthy Draculan vampire vermin. How did you even know I was here?

[25:52] Well, it was quite easy. Uh a letter was delivered saying that you were gonna be outside in the bushes trying to get some reconnaissance, and you know, Drac told us to come out here and hey, aren't you the guy that punched me in the face before? Nope. You [expletive].

[26:07] Nope, must have been my brother. You must be that goblin that I don't know. Well, thanks for the information. And they throw him into the cell, lock it up, and and they walk away. I hope you rot in there. Belmont's uh kind of just pacing around, um, you know, in this seemingly empty cell and be like, I don't understand. How did they how could they possibly know I could have came? I I was I was I was sneaky. I didn't even bring Van Helsing, who would have tripped a number of alarms and probably set off multiple signals. I was by myself, I was confident, I made no mistakes. I I don't understand. How could this have possibly happened?

[26:39] They said it. A letter was dropped off. Oh, oh, oh.

[26:44] Sorry, someone here in Belmont starts glancing around this dark cell.

[26:49] He's like standing right next to you.

[26:51] Well, I really maybe I wasn't totally uh careful with my uh my reconnaissance.

[26:57] Who who are you? Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt your monologuing. My name's Naya Nesgani. I am a Navajo slayer of monsters. Who are you? You are also a slayer. Why else would they throw you in this cage with me?

[27:14] Um Slayer's optimistic. Um, and he looks up this Nanzani. I won't know how to pronounce his name. We're gonna go with Nayan or Naya? Naya, let's decide right now.

[27:24] Let's go with Naya. Naya.

[27:26] So he's gonna look Naya up and down and kind of distrustful. He doesn't know who this is. Maybe this is an agent of Dracula trying to get some information. So he's like, I am just a traveling merchant by the name of Bella Bella. Yep, Bella is my name.

[27:41] Hmm. I'll try to remember your name, Bella. All you pale faces look the same to me.

[27:47] Wow, that was very aggressive. But uh you've got one hell of a ten yourself, Naya. Navajo, that doesn't even sound familiar at all. I don't aren't we in Eastern Europe.

[27:56] My tribe moves from place to place, much like Dracula's castle. He made it over, and then we battled, but he caught me. I'm kind of in between missions right now. I need to find my brother. We got separated. And also I'd like to find my weapons. I'll probably need help getting out of this cell, and you seem semi-capable. Bell Bella isn't Bella is is that a lady's name?

[28:21] Jinder's a construct, and my parents wanted a daughter. Neither, neither. Listen, uh you seem very self-assured and very calm down here. I mean, first of all, we're locked in a cell in Draco's cast, so I don't see us easily getting out of this. Two, I don't know you. How can I trust you at all? I mean, you could be one of those those blood suckers.

[28:40] Look at me. Look at me in my eyes. Does it look like I suck the blood from other humans to create my sustenance? I don't need that. He's just staring you. Wow, okay. Point those somewhere else. He's uh probably like six foot tall, uh very lean build, but you can kind of see that he's still kind of strong. And sometimes when you glance at him, it almost looks like he's glowing. Like the like a sun or the moon, how it glows. Like it looks like he has that kind of aura about him. But then when you readjust your eyes, it kind of goes away.

[29:11] Weird. I totally thought you were well, never mind. No, I don't get a vampiric kind of vibe from you, but that doesn't mean I should trust you. And besides, there's no way we're gonna get out of here. We're gonna be stuck here for a long time, my friend. So I would conserve your energy and just wait for our opportune moment. I've done these kind of things before. We're gonna be here a while. You've you've been trapped before. Well, no, I mean not tra I've been waiting for the right opportunity. Um you are very dry. Very dry, my friend.

[29:39] Well, it's a little moist in this cave/slash dungeon. No, not that. I don't think I'm dry. Okay, okay. Again.

[29:46] Wow, you're just like Van Helsing with the figurativeness. Anywho, no, maybe I have been trapped before, but do you know a way out of here? Because unless you're gonna just swing this door open, I mean we're surrounded by brick and mortar, and not sure how else we're gonna get out of here.

[30:00] Let me think about that. I am down here with you, so I would say it's a pretty good guess that no, I do not know a way out of here. Was that sarcasm, Naya? My brother would have laughed extremely hard at that.

[30:16] Honestly, frankly, this is the first time I feel connected to you at all. It's almost like I'm looking at a browner, more aboriginal version of myself. I don't see that at all. Well, we might as well get acquainted. We're gonna be here a while. Um, I don't know, tell me more. So you guys actually your story sounds very similar, your family story to mine. My family followed here, uh followed Dracula here to Eastern Europe as well. Uh we're originally from France. Us Bellas. Yeah, we we uh we settled on some land uh that we had acquired through, you know, just boddering with some locals, and and we set up camp and we've been hunting him ever since. And it seems like that's maybe the same case for you. You seem far from home.

[30:55] Oh yes, I could tell that our stories are extremely similar. Your father, too, is the god of the sun?

[31:04] Uh no, I mean no, no, he's not a god at all. He's just, you know, a man. But uh, you know, my family's very prestigious, and we have uh a very great estate with a uh a catacomb archive of of knowledge, so we're we're kind of like god of monster knowledges.

[31:23] Hmm, yes. I'm familiar with your kind and your bartering deals. They have taken quite a bit of land from our people. You wouldn't happen in your bartering deals to be taking land from anybody that it's rightfully owed, would you? Bel Bella?

[31:38] No, we are protectors of the people. The yes, the Bellas. Uh we definitely, you know, we don't we don't we protect others. We we give back. We're like Robin Hood if Robin Hood actually murdered people and used whips and and axes and knives instead of bows and arrows, you know. Do you know who Robin Hood is? No. Do you have Rob He starts talking loudly, like you know how when people like when you think someone like doesn't understand English, you just you just talk louder, is it that makes it clear?

[32:06] He's like Robin Hood, do you know of him? No, I am not familiar with your fictional character of the man Robin Hood.

[32:16] Yes, well, he's kind of boring, but I'm like a better version of him. Okay, well, I'm just you know, I'm just trying to establish some connection here, you know. Like me and my old partner, we used uh say funny things to each other and make each other laugh, and with you, it's just you see them all business in the front and business in the back, you know, instead of party anywhere.

[32:35] I've been known to be a party animal. Which animal? Are you talking about transfiguration or oh find my animality? No, that was a guy Nightwolf that I know. He did that. It was kind of nonsense. I don't believe in that [expletive].

[32:48] Oh yeah, yeah, okay. No, I totally wasn't uh thinking that at all either. No, uh, got it. Well, might as well get comfy. We're gonna be here a long time. And as he does that, Belmont goes to like lean up against like one of the specific rocks and it like pushes in like and then like a passage like door opens up.

[33:08] Well, I am surprised. You are far more reliable than I first imagined looking at you.

[33:13] Yes, I what do you mean far more reliable? Let's continue on, shall we? Farewell, very well. So we we we like kind of poke our heads in real quick, and I don't know, like what do you what are you seeing, Naya?

[33:27] So we're walking down these caravans. Uh, I don't think we need torchlight because, like I said, like I glow just a little bit. So I think it's just enough that we're able to see, and I'm so accustomed to it that I don't think anything of it. So I don't know if that would be a bigger deal for Belmont or not.

[33:46] So are you actually related to that? You mentioned your dad was a sun god. Is that a real thing? Oh, absolutely. He's the god of the sun. Can you die if you're a god?

[33:56] Uh it's I have like I've never really been in a situation where I thought I was gonna die. Usually I kill things and it happens pretty easily. I give them the upper hand. I've never even been down in a fight before, but before I started slaying monsters, I did have special weapons that me and my brother went to the top of the sun tower and acquired them. And with those, I've been able to slay monsters quite easily. A lot like traversing this passage.

[34:23] As we're doing this, I imagine we're like going in through this like dark stairwell, it's just kind of zigzagging in random directions, kind of tight and narrow, and be like, huh, okay. So yeah, you sound pretty pretty legit, my friend. Uh, but how did you end up tipping Dracula's cell then? If you're basically this OP sun god, how did you end up trapped behind iron bars in a basement?

[34:47] Why'd you google?

[34:48] Well, that it's not funny, because I'm I'm in there too. I I also am a very competent person who got, you know, trapped in a basement. It's just for a sun god I would expect you know.

[35:00] I feel like you're being condescending. But either way, I'll tell you my tale. We were bamboozled by a snake oil salesman many years ago. Me and my brother went to go fight, and then we got split up. You see, I don't age the same. I've been trapped in this cell for quite some time. And I merely went into a state of meditation, biding my time. But luckily you came down and rescued me, I guess would be the word. But we were tricked. Me and my brother were split up. I have no idea where he is now, and I intend to find him.

[35:31] You know, that's funny you mentioned that. I just recently, in two weeks now, you're the second person I met who has managed to spend potentially decades in a cell by just meditation. That's a parent, it's a skill I need to pick up. Could you teach me? Could you teach me uh meditation animalities and and all those other cool things?

[35:49] He takes like one second to look you up and down. No.

[35:55] Oh, just know you'll think about it or no, not right now. Oh, look at that. I see some light coming up ahead. We might want to quiet down. There might be a confrontation. Let's see.

[36:06] I'm always quiet. You're the one who's been rambling on.

[36:09] Wow, you're so aggressive, you know. I'm just I'm just trying to build a relationship here and a connection. And so he's now like talking even more fevishly as they walk up. So we're like, oh, look over there. And uh they glance through, and I'm kind of imagining it's like um maybe it's like a one of those paintings, you know, with like the eyes moving. So we're like looking through uh a painting in a room. And what what room would you say this is?

[36:31] Uh in this first room, I want to say it looks like a kitchen area, but it's kind of been cleaned out. Nobody's obviously making meals right now. There's uh tons of pots and pans and furnaces and things along the side of the walls. Some of the fires are still going, so that's the light that we've seen. And like meat hanging from the roof and [expletive], and like weird things like that in here.

[36:55] Ooh, naya, are you hungry? You said you've been down there for an unknown amount of time. I mean, even gods have to eat, ha ha ha. And he like elbows him a little bit.

[37:04] Hmm, yes, but I don't know if I trust any of this food that these creatures eat here.

[37:08] Oh yeah, totally valid. It's probably yeah, you're right. Uh what was I thinking? Nope, not not needed at all. Well, the passage keeps going up. I feel like let's just keep taking this passage for now. We'd no need to exit out into a room we have no idea where we are just to get recaptured.

[37:23] Just one second. And he goes into the kitchen and comes back with like a meat cleaver. It's not my preferred weapon of choice, but it'll have to do in a pinch.

[37:31] Yes, it's no sun cleaver from the tower of Babel or whatever, but it'll do, my friend.

[37:37] Uh is that a hint of jealousy that I'm hearing upon your lips?

[37:41] No, no, of course not. It's just uh I know this will come off weird, uh, Naya, but I'm used to being uh part of a duo where the other person is highly incompetent and just not very effective or useful at all. And and now I'm kind of impressed, like you're literally glowing with confidence. It's it's impressive. Do you think uh by the way, where you're in there, did you see anything I could use as a weapon?

[38:03] Hmm. Be right back. And he comes back with like a fly swatter. This looks like it's up to your speed.

[38:12] Ooh, that burns a little bit, but I'm loving it so much. This is great. Look at us building friendships, you evaluating me, me evaluating you. It's almost like we see each other as equals now, right? He's been walking forward for a while now.

[38:26] Oh, I'm coming.

[38:30] Uh well, it looks like uh no passage to be seen. It looks like still a ways to go. So tell me more about your history. I'm I'm so fascinated, Wick. Where were okay, before you got trapped here, where did you call home? Like I know here somewhere in Europe, but like what what lands? Like I'm only about 300 miles like south of here.

[38:49] I too am around the area of the 300 miles south. Hmm, that seems odd. Our people had great lands out there that we would hunt and gather.

[38:59] Oh, that's funny. We live in hunting lands too.

[39:02] Oh. What kind of stuff did you hunt? There was deer, obviously, some elk, um, foxes, things of that nature. Anything we could find, really. But one of the the greatest things of our land was actually a wild patch of blackberries that would grow for about a mile in length. It was very noticeable, very natural landmark. It kind of separated it from everything else.

[39:27] As he's saying that, Melmont like squints his eyes, and then he like goes into like his like memory trove, and he has like he's with his mom and his like two siblings, and they're like Okay, but remember, be back before sunset if you're going to pick blackberries. Uh and he's like, Oh, that sounds nice. You wouldn't know what that's like. Hey, Belmont's mom, are we picking blackberries?

[39:57] He's like, [expletive].

[40:15] He's got like a big sun hat and a basket.

[40:23] Okay, all right, back to back to that at hand.

[40:25] Um, those were our lands for quite some time. Till it was taken from us in some kind of arrangement that we really had no idea. It was a family by the name of Belmont, I believe. Not not are you you need water? There's the kitchen back the way we came.

[40:41] No, we're good. It's just very dry. Very no, and uh I mean like no moisture in the air up here. Sorry, did you say what was that name again?

[40:48] It was Belmont. I'll remember that name till the name I die.

[40:52] Nope, but never uh never heard of it. Never heard of it. That's very odd.

[40:56] Um Very odd indeed, considering we come from the same region.

[41:00] Yeah, well, you know, when I said about 300 miles, it was like a estimation, you know, tracking and and distances, eyeballing, that kind of thing. Not my best skill, you know, just like, you know, apparently reconnaissance and uh you know how it is. Uh oh look, another passage up there.

[41:17] He looks you up and down again, he's like, Yes, I could see that.

[41:22] So we get up to like another area, and we're gonna say it's like a stained glass window, but again, we can like kind of see like there's maybe a section that's like not painted. And uh yeah, we'll glance through it. Once again, what do you what do we see?

[41:35] I think in this room specifically, there is torches or brasiers lining the whole circumference of the small room, and in the center is like an altar of some kind with like cloth draped over it, and it seems to be some broken pieces of wood on top of the altar, and then there's also like different little pillars and anvils all with like arcanic ruins and stuff on it. Obviously, this was some kind of um I don't know, a shaman kind of corridor or room or something like that where they practice in dark magics.

[42:11] Ooh, interesting. Dark magics is kind of a specialty of my family. Do you mind if we take a peruse in here for a moment?

[42:18] Yes, absolutely. We can go inside. I still am on the lookout for my weapons, and I have no idea where they would hide such things. I would hope they wouldn't be tainted by the dark arts.

[42:28] No, no, nothing. We definitely don't taint things, land, weapons, anything like that. That's very not my family, nope, not the Bellas. Yes, not to be confused with those deviled Belmonts. No. Anyway, uh, and he like unlatches like the like thing, kind of like swings open from the back, and yeah, we we climb into this room.

[42:49] Uh I meander around until I make my way to the altar, and then I kind of drop on my knees, and then just pause, like holding these sticks.

[42:59] Are you okay there? You seem really into those twigs.

[43:03] These these were mine. Yours? Yes.

[43:07] They look old. They look decades old, that maybe centuries.

[43:12] Well, they used to have power imbued upon them, but now it seems that through these dark arts and dark magics and these devil creatures that they have stripped 'em of their properties and left them bare. They are now just hollow fragments of what they used to be.

[43:37] Are we getting blackberries, Mrs. Belmont?

[43:41] Shut up, you. And I'm like talking to myself.

[43:45] He doesn't even care at this point. These were given to me by my father. Uh we had to make it to the sun house to just acquire these. It took months to get to the top, me and my brother. And these are what I use to slay all the monsters I have slain.

[44:02] So the sun ho I just I'm trying to follow along here. Sunhouse is in the sun tower. Is that where you went to take a sun bath? Eh?

[44:11] No, it was where I met my father, the sun god. He's a god. I don't know who your dad is, but mine's a god.

[44:17] Yeah, no, you keep br bringing that up. Not a competition, Naya. Um, but so hear me out. Why didn't your dad ever come down? If he's a god, why didn't he smite, incinerate these vampires with sun rays and free you from the basement?

[44:32] Well, do you like the sun? Do Do I like the sun? Yes. And the things that it gives you. Warmth, light, crops.

[44:42] Yes, occasional burning if we don't, you know, properly, you know, apply resistance on our skin. It used to be called black magic, but it's not.

[44:50] Yeah, so imagine if that sun came down to earth. Would you like it as much?

[44:54] Well, I mean, if it came that close, it would probably burn my [expletive] skull into dust.

[45:00] Oh, that's what you understand.

[45:02] Getting at gods. Oh, so it seems like gods have rules and such.

[45:08] Yes, especially the ones with the elder gods. They're a little bit more loosey-goosey, I've heard, but most gods do have rules.

[45:17] I'm just glad you guys haven't imposed a tournament of sorts to decide things. I'm sure it's coming. Anywho, this is some cool stuff. Let's see. And uh I'm gonna look around and try to see if I can find something for Belmont aside from this uh fly swatter. Um I don't know. Let's uh what do you what do you think I find? Anything interesting?

[45:40] Ooh, I don't know. Maybe in this room there could be like also things for interrogation or things. So you might be able to find a whip, not your whip specifically, but a whip.

[45:51] Or at least kind of let's do the one, you know, like like where they like whip themselves in the back.

[45:57] Do you know what that's called? Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, what is that called? [expletive].

[46:01] I forget what that's called. Okay. We'll Google it in the meantime. But yeah, he's gonna get one of those things. Like, this is unique. It doesn't quite have the range or the distance I'm looking for, but I could do some damage.

[46:12] It looks like just a larger version of the weapon that I gave you. Only made with more leather.

[46:17] Okay, listen, you're getting very, very judgy, Naya. I have been trying to be super understanding of the fact that you're, you know, like basically like your culture, your godliness, and I'm not even bringing up the fact that your land and then he just trails off.

[46:34] That is true, Bella. I'm sorry. I've not given you a chance. You have done nothing but shown me kindness. You have freed me, and we are all we have at this point in time. I can see that now. And from this point on, I shall protect you.

[46:48] Oh, protect me. I mean that doesn't seem entirely necessary. I know I'm I've been very silly with you. That's kind of my thing. Like make you feel comfortable and be a good partner. But I can definitely protect myself, especially with this scourge thing that I looked up. I think it literally is called a scourge.

[47:04] That makes sense to me, but I really do feel like you do need protecting. Like right now, you shouldn't be sitting on top of that crate. It's filled with live scorpions.

[47:14] Holy [expletive]! Well, this is gonna do. Everything else in here is uh just tattered old or riddled with dark magic, and not the type that I like to play with by any means.

[47:28] Just being in here for this extended period of time is making me sick to my stomach. I agree with you. We shall leave at once. Very good, very good.

[47:35] Onward and upward. Get back in the passage, keep going up. It's a little awkward now. We've kind of covered all the basic conversation. Belmont's been trying really hard, but he doesn't really know what to say, so he's just kind of like, you know.

[47:47] So, in an effort. Um, tell me, Bella, how's the weather?

[47:54] The weather. Yes, outside. Well, okay, alright, no, that's a fair question, because even though we've been trapped in a basement and clearly with no [expletive] windows, I can tell you that before I got here it was pouring cats and dogs, my friend. Now, cats and dogs is an English phrase that doesn't mean actual cats and dogs. It means it's just pouring a great quantity of water from the sky. Is there a rain god? There is a rain god, yes. Are you related? No. Okay, alright. Well, you know, I'm not saying you're all related, it's just uh sun god, rain god, could all, you know, rain or shine, as they say. Anywho, yeah, it was raining like crazy.

[47:54] Like thankfully we fixed that leak in my old at the Bella estate, uh, and otherwise, man, my house would be flooded by now if all that rain.

[48:42] Yes, that would be a shame to see one's home taken from them in such a manner. Yeah, I can't can't imagine. But to keep things light, who would you consider a 3 a.m. friend?

[48:57] Well, it would have to be my friend Van Helsing. You see, Van Helsing and I go way back. Originally, when I first met Van Helsing, we were both hunting Dracula, and it was a funny story, actually. We both arrived at the same time, and he pretended to be a monster owner, but I was a real one, and we we duked it out, and then in that time Dracula got away, and then I took his posse, and there was this whole thing where for a while I traveled with his posse, kind of stealing all of his fame, and he was you know living this like poor, impoverished life, tipping over cows. And then I found him one day, and I just saw myself as him and realized I'd become a terrible person just like him.

[48:57] So of course I picked him up, we joined forces, we went into town, we met a harpy who he had given a seemingly STD of sorts, and then you know he re redeemed his honor by killing her, basically giving her a mercy kill. She died literally on top of him dancing, he was sobbing, it was very awkward. And then from there we just kept going. We well, actually, this isn't the first time we tried to slay Dracula. We've uh technically, Naya, I've slayed Dracula once before. Is that a fact? It is factual. Now, granted, he was in a weakened state, we will say, okay, but he was a huge [expletive], and he had it coming, and so yeah, we uh pushed him down some stairs, to put it nicely.

[48:57] And yeah, we were able to end Dracula um about what I understand two minutes before he would have actually naturally passed and reincarnate.

[50:25] Well, I guess a win is a win. Especially if he was late in his life cycle, you probably did him some justice releasing him like that from his bonds.

[50:36] Oh, that sounds bad when you put it that way. But uh yeah, no, we killed him, but here he is back. He's uh oh, and things have gotten bad. I don't know how you feel about churches. You know, I I don't know, like you're probably familiar with missions. Perhaps they probably do a lot of really great work with your people. Yes, they spread lies and disease. Um yeah, actually I feel that way about religion as well. We're kind of on the same page there. But anyway, the church is usually kind of reluctantly who I work with to take out these these demon beasts, you know, these unnatural, like alien sources of evil in our world. But they've all been infiltrated by Dracula sources, and now I'm afraid there's not too many monster hunters left.

[50:36] It looks like it's you, me, my friend Van Helsing, and I do know one other blade is like really the only one left.

[51:24] I see. Our numbers are dwindling. And also from your story, it seems that this Van Helsing, who you say is not an actual slayer, is the only one who's actually slayed a monster in your travels together, besides elderly handy capable Dracula. Well, who said handicapable, first of all? I just figured in his old age, at the end of his life cycle, he probably wouldn't be getting around too well.

[51:52] Yes, I mean Vin Helsing was the one to do the deed, but I am very competent, Naya. Very, very competent, okay? I have an entire estate pretty much built on a library of which has all kinds of knowledge on how to kill anything under the sun. Get it? Under the sun that you can think of.

[52:10] Yes, quite hilarious. Then why aren't you laughing? I am.

[52:16] Oh okay. Oh, well, look. The passage seems to be coming to an end up here. Uh we must be pretty high in Dracula's castle. I'm I'm a little nervous. Uh I don't think I intended to go this deep, but Naya, do you think we could take out Dracula now? Right here, right here, and and end it?

[52:33] With this weapon, I'm afraid I really don't have high hope for us whatsoever. And in the dark as well, if I could embrace the sun, then maybe with this cleaver that I found, there would be a chance. But here in the dark, my powers are extremely limited.

[52:51] And as you say that, you hear like glass shattering, and then you hear like loud noises scuffling, you hear like the no like things breaking, sounds like wood splintering, tables breaking, um, coming up from up ahead where that like last passage is.

[53:07] He instinctively does the thing where he holds you back up against the wall and he's like shh and he's looking forward. Do you do you hear that, Naya? It sounds like sounds like something's going on up there. Maybe maybe we should check it out real quick. Okay, but let's try to be s quiet about this. No more monologuing. Okay, that's fine. Can you also you let me go?

[53:27] You're literally pinning me with one hand to this wall.

[53:29] Oh, sorry about that. Sometimes I forget my strength.

[53:32] Very strong. Thank you. Okay, so they uh we say we're like sneaking up. Yeah, I think so. Okay. So we sneak up, weapons in hand, and we look through we're gonna call it like a two-way mirror.

[53:45] Ooh, okay.

[53:46] And we look through, and inside we actually see Dracula's chamber.

[53:51] Uh huh.

[53:52] And inside of it actually is Blade fighting Dracula. It seems like he uh you see like shattered glass, like from like kind of behind where Dracula's like, you know, throne or stoop is. And so it seems like kind of like Blade literally like swung in somehow, burst through the highest like floor of his castle, and kind of looks like he's like beating Dracula's ass. And he's like, Oh my god, Naya, look, look at Blade. He's he's here, he's doing the thing. Like we might kill Dracula tonight. Is that one of the monster slayers you're talking about? Yes, that's Blade. Uh very dark skinned, a bit of a lurker, if you know what I mean.

[53:52] Uh, but he very I hate to say it, but he's he's killed Dracula a number of times, and he knows what he's doing.

[54:38] Oh. Should we bust in and help him then at this point? Or or what do you think?

[54:44] I don't think he really needs help. I mean, listen, uh if he did, I it would probably be like me that he would need, and not, you know, you who must be weakened from being down in a basement for literally god knows how long.

[54:59] I understand what you're saying. And he immediately picks you up and throws you through the plate glass.

[55:08] Amazing. So as you do that, then shatters makes a ton of noise, and what happens is at this very moment it looks like Blade was like holding Dracula up with one hand, and then had like a weapon, like literally about to like impale him, and then they both turn their heads to look, and they can see they just see Belmont lying on the floor, a shattered window, and then just this glowing guy in the dark. And unfortunately, in that split take, that Blade is distracted, Dracula pulls out like some like kind of like small weapon and stabs it up through Blade's throat. And uh yeah.

[55:47] Well, he obviously wasn't that good. Attention, Dracula. You have killed another slayer. I am Nayanazgani. You killed my brother. Prepare to die.

[56:01] And I, oh [expletive], Blade, are you okay? You just hear like he's like blood. He's like coughing out blood, and uh he like falls backwards, let's goes of Dracula, kind of like falls onto his back and collapses, and then you hear a like and then Dracula's and then Dracula's like Zwelcum Zumi Party. Little throwback to an older episode there. He doesn't sound like Vinny though. Vinny's not here right now.

[56:31] Oh thank god. He died as well. Remember the wheelchair crushed?

[56:36] Yeah. Yeah, you're fine, roll with it. Zanaya, it's good to see you. I uh zot you've been sleeping for the past gods and us as long. Looks like some lack of sunlight does thee well. And uh perhaps ze made a new friend and looks down at Belmont.

[57:06] Oh, Bella. Yes, he helped me escape. But I've been saving my energy, waiting for the time to strike you down, which hopefully is now. Bella, are you going to stand up or are you just going to lay there in the glass? Bella.

[57:20] It's you didn't need to throw me, Naya, first of all. Also, it's glass. Ow. And as he's like plucking the stuff out, and he looks over and like, I'm a little concerned about Blade. Uh could we maybe tie him out and I take a look at and then as he does that, uh Dracula like picks up Blade and throws him out the like window that was like shattered behind him and just tosses his corpse. Okay, well, I guess that's no longer an issue. Uh, we're just gonna go then. Just wanted to make sure you're okay, Dracula. It seems like you're doing perfectly fine. Blade uh did not harm you, thank goodness. Good lord. Uh we're just gonna go out the way we came, if you don't mind then.

[57:57] Whose side are you on, Bella? Blade will obviously be fine as soon as the sun comes up. That's how it works for me. I'm sure he'll be fine.

[58:04] Yes, not the time, Naya.

[58:06] Not the time. We need to attack Dracula now.

[58:10] Belmont, where do you think you're going? The party is just getting started. Bell! Yes, Belmont. Belmont? Belmont? No, B. And like he's looking around, it's like Dracula has like circled around, like blocking like the entrance out of his lair. And then Naya standing in the passageway, and he just kind of looks over at the window. Like, oh [expletive]. This is looking more appealing by the moment. It's like, ooh, yes, Belmont is a nickname they call the Bellas uh to make us sound a little bit more masculine, uh, but not the same thing as the you know people you were mentioning, I don't think, probably.

[58:51] I suddenly start glowing brighter and I throw the cleaver at Dracula, but then I run at you in like a full tackle.

[59:03] Dracula just steps aside, dodging very easily, and yeah, now it's like you're like on top of me, like pinning Belmont to the ground and just kind of like enraged, kind of glowing, and be like, Zes, Zes, it looks like we have some family drama as we'd call it. And Belmont's kind of like, now yeah, get off me. Look, we can talk about this. I am not the same person as my ancestors. Yes, I live by the Blackberries, and I'm pretty sure that my clan was the one who has maybe appropriated your land or whatnot. I don't know, and we can settle that, but you can have to admit I am not the person that you are mad at.

[59:03] Dracula is a person who has trapped you for decades in his cell, and my maybe great-great-great-great great ancestor took your land, and we can tackle that later.

[59:50] You are actually wise. And the glow kind of dims back down a little bit. Alright. How are we gonna take him out?

[59:57] We're not, we're gonna get the [expletive] out of here, okay? No, what we're gonna do is run to that, and as he does that, uh Dracula just interrupts, but oh Belmont's leaving Zooon? But Zon's you want to know, Zoo rat at you out and left you with Zai in a cell with the sun god. And Belmont kinda like peaks his interest and he's like, Okay, meh, I'm a little bit intrigued, I I would say. Show me the receipts. Uh and as he does that, Dracula like pulls like a scroll out of his pocket and like unrolls it with one hand flick and then just levitates it over to to Belmont, and Belmont starts reading and it says uh exactly what had been said in the next episode.

[59:57] Belmont has left for reconnaissance on this day at this time to get some some intelligence on Dracula so that he can kill him. Blah blah blah. Sincerity, Van Helsing. XOXO.

[60:48] Be careful, Belmont. His mouth is filled with many lies.

[60:51] No, this uh this looks like like Van Hilsing's handwriting. So Van Hilsing's right-handed, but it looks like he should have been left-handed, so he has a weird slant, and the XOXO is a telltale sign. I was ratted out by my friend. I someone who I trusted took something from me, and it doesn't feel very good, Naya.

[61:11] Oh, tell me all about it.

[61:15] Oh so sorry that you trusted Zivan Helsing, Belmont. Maybe he would have learned after your friend zoo me down a set of stairs and connived every single person he's ever met. What makes you think you're any different, Belmont? And he's like approaching slowly.

[61:34] Be cautious of his lies, Belmont. I am ready to leave. Let's leave.

[61:40] What do you got in mind? We're literally on the top floor and the handicapable wagon I don't think is available anymore. We kind of left that somewhere else last time we escaped.

[61:51] I have one idea in mind. And he grabs you and throws you out the window of the place fell out. And he jumps out after you. Okay.

[62:00] You see, uh, as we're like falling, I'm like Baumont's like, what the fu? He's like looking up at the window, and you see uh Dracula lean over, and he's like, I'll be seeing you, my friends. And he just grins. And yeah, how uh how do you expect this to play out as we're falling from the top of Dracula's castle here?

[62:19] I'm assuming, based on my knowledge of Dracula's castle, that there are definitely some kind of vines or something of that nature. So I am going to grab you mid-air, and then I'm also going to try to one-handedly grab the vines and slow our descent until we fall into the moat or whatever is surrounding the castle.

[62:43] I imagine like not only do you do that, but as you like with one hand you have the vines, you're kind of using me and like pressing my face against the wall to like slow down, like create friction and like slow it down.

[62:54] Like super easily, like hurts, it hurts so bad, but this was your idea. I said, How were we gonna do that?

[63:05] Okay, and then we land on top of Blade's body.

[63:11] Oh god, look at him. I guess I guess it could have been worse. I guess we could have been in as bad a shape as him. Should we take him?

[63:19] I don't know. He wasn't actually useless in this fight. He aided us in our descent from the castle.

[63:25] Yeah, and he might have actually succeeded had you not thrown me through the [expletive] window. What part of Let's Just Observe did you not understand, Naya? All of it. Clearly. Oh [expletive]. Okay, hold on. Let me grab some of the [expletive] off of him. And I basically loot Blade's body. Oh, perfect. Okay, so we grab some stuff and we're like, get that out of here. You can hear the like bazooka, bazooga, like alarms going off in Kendraculus Castle from last time. Quick, we have to get out of here. I'm going to take us, well, take you. Well, take we're going to we're going home.

[63:54] Okay, let's go home. And as I take another look back at the castle, I see Blade just naked floating in the moat.

[64:03] How did he get in the moat?

[64:05] That's where we landed on his body. And you stripped him down and I threw him back in the water.

[64:11] I didn't imagine I took his clothes off. I thought I just like grabbed some like weapons and some like items and stuff.

[64:16] In my head, when we loot people in DD, that's um exactly what I imagined happening. Like, I need to make sure that this person doesn't have anything that I want.

[64:24] So Belmont is wearing sunglasses and a black trench coat now. And uh yeah, okay, so we're we're making a run for it. And uh it's still raining out where we're at. Yeah, we're gonna work on cues together, you know. Like, I'm gonna let you be a part of our team, uh, the Daft Monks or the D Hunters, as some people call us. But you're gonna need to follow my lead a bit more, friend, okay? I mean, I get it. You're very good. Like you that like skydive surfboard with my face thing, that was pretty impressive, and I'm not gonna lie, but you can't just be doing your own thing now. We're gonna be a team. If if yours I mean, I intend you still plan to kill Dracula, right?

[65:04] Absolutely. And I can see now that you are the only aid that I have in this, and I will do my best to help you understand that I should be in the lead.

[65:16] Yes, whatever. We'll we'll that we'll we'll figure that small detail out later. In the meantime, I just want you to know it's been a while since you've seen your land, to say the least. You know, we've kind of made some modifications, we dug some holes in your ground and built a library, and then we built foundations on top of it, and really anything that was formally, we cleared out a lot of the nature and kicked the animals out. But the blackberry bush is still there. Well, I guess that is some solace. And uh as they're going, uh, we'll just say some time passes, and they're um, you know, Belmont's like, I'm so glad we could have put this behind us, this whole Belmont clan thing potentially stealing your land.

[65:16] You know, I'm sorry, and we could definitely figure that out. But just you know, remember it wasn't me, it was my ancestors. They didn't know any better, you know. Times have changed, people have changed. I totally get it. You know, I'm an ally.

[66:07] Yes, I agree as well. I'm glad that we've become friends. And as we crest over the hill, I take one look. The surrounding areas and immediately punch you in the face.

[66:19] Oh, what is that for? Oh. And then uh as you look down, uh as both of us look down, I think what we see is that the area where the Belmont Manor used to be is completely like caved in. It looks like well, it looks like a leak had started to form. And then kind of uh for our fans, uh you know, if we were like a television show, we would have like at the end of last episode like zoomed in. Basically, what happened after Bingo punched that hole in the floor, water was able to get its way all the way, drip all the way down into the Belmont archive, and it started to fill with water, flooding the library and kind of activating some of the dark relics.

[66:19] And so, fast forwarding to now, and after that huge rainstorm that occurred, basically a giant pool of dark magic is formed around the Belmont estate with everything kind of collapsing into it, and what looks like a portal to I don't know, hell or something seems to have formed on the land. Belmont looks down, he's like, Oh my god. And what he can see is a giant image of like what looks like Belmont's father climbing out of the portal, but he looks like covered in like white, angelic light, but still very clearly his father, and Belmont's just like holy [expletive]. He like thinks back, knowing Ben Helsing has now betrayed him and bingo has left, and he's like, Oh my god, they destroyed my home and ratted me out.

[67:50] And do you know that rather large man glowing in the sky?

[67:57] Yeah, that seems a lot like if my dad became a hell demon.

[68:02] Well, it seems we do have some things in common, Belmont.

[68:06] And we'll call it there. Alright, so first episode, that was interesting. I was very curious to see what your interpretation of Naya would be like.

[68:18] I think we just have to go through the rounds and let him find his character a little bit. I kind of liked what he was doing on some spots, and I think it's definitely a uh role reversal where he's kind of giving Belmont the punchlines kind of deal instead of it being reversed, how it was always helsing with the one-liners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now he's giving you uh no help whatsoever.

[68:43] No, it's it's pretty good. I I think like you said, too, another reversal there is Belmont's always been the more competent one out of the Daft Monks or the D-Hunters, but now it's kind of like this guy's the real deal. There's some intimidation, there's some ego, and then some awkward, also ancestral business that maybe is gonna need to be explored over a few episodes.

[69:05] And then we can always jump back to Van Helsing and bingo.

[69:08] I'm so glad that I took all of the blackberries off of that mile-long bush before I left. Nothing like stripping the land bear, as I always say.

[69:24] Oh, okay. Yeah, so uh going forward, it looks like um it's gonna be kind of like a split season, we'll see. I think one way or another, Belmont will be dealing with some family trauma uh that he has begun to unearth since visiting, revisiting the the Belmont estate. And then we're gonna see uh, you know, Tales Oldest Time or you know, the ultimate um test of courage or or cowardice. Will Van Helsing stand up for himself or is he gonna assimilate back into some old roles that he used to be? Ooh, only time will tell. Only time will tell. Stay tuned, and we will talk to you next weekish.

[70:01] Oh, and also one thing, Nate, before we close, we do have a subscriber option now. Is that correct? Do you want to tell us a little bit more about that?

[70:08] Oh, yeah, great call. Um, yeah, so if you click on uh the episode links in Apple Podcasts, or if you uh click the support our show link in the episode descriptions, it will take you. We brought back subscriptions. You don't good news, it will just open your web browser. You can all do it right there. You can even pay with Apple Pay uh or whatever kind of tools you got. And what you're gonna get, Nate, is absolutely nothing. Unlike Patreon, what we've decided is we don't want to come up with a whole nother incentive program that we can't really, you know, create benefits for and support. So purely, no pressure.

[70:08] But if you'd like to support the show, help pay for the two or three different pieces of software we pay for so we can produce this and own the rights to our episodes and get the episodes live. Um, yeah, feel free to click that link and and make a recurring subscription. We have to change our catch line. It is not as little as a dollar. The smallest tier is three dollars. You can that's just like what the platform dictates. It's not probably because they get like a percentage of it as well. So make a three dollar reoccurring contribution and that will help our show if you'd like or don't.

[70:08] And if you do, we will mention your name in the episode and make maybe like a character, but um, there won't be any benefits besides just supporting us and appreciating what we do. So thank you.

[71:15] And we do appreciate that if you do support us and if you just listen to us, we support that as well. Thank you very much. Thank you and have a good night. Bye.