The Lady of the Lens
Edited video transcript

Edited from an automatic transcription of the original recording. Strong language is masked; selected personal asides and adult material are marked [Editorial omission.]. Transcription errors may remain, especially in names and lyrics. Timestamps come from the source; paragraphs split for readability can share a timestamp. The original recording contains adult language and themes. Announcements and offers reflect the recording date.
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjTjMTfkG24

[0:00] just so you know Daft monks is half talk show half actual play Campaign that features adult language and topics viewer discretion is advised let's get to it yeah hello and welcome to the Daft monks podcast today we have Nate and special guest Ryan Nate what do we have on the agenda today well Nate as you know we

[0:26] have made many a foray into trying to make this actually we always wanted this to be a real play podcast the first season which we've now like migrated over to its own podcast because the audio is terrible we did a bunch of attempts at real play we did uh if you remember role play for one yes where you kind of guided me through some kak cthulu and that was fun but we found our group with d monks we like the story we're telling we like the roleplay we're doing but it's just so hard the minute

[0:53] we tried to do a battle or an encounter or we try to do mechanics you and I just shut down right like that's always been the case do you remember like one of the DMS episodes we tried to do a full DND set of battles against vampires yeah it was awful it was terrible um it was so bad and that really turned us off for a while and then we've tried to use it back in and it just hasn't worked but I've missed the real play element I don't know what about you I have too

[1:18] because honestly the The Thrill of the random dice determining the outcome kind of makes the game for us but like you said even when we played in real life we kind of zoned out during actual rolling portions and we're like let's get to the the role play so hopefully we found some kind of hybrid system where we can install this actual

[1:43] game element ttrpg style and still have our fun flowy charismatic thing I guess that we do well we're going to find out Nate so listeners what we're thinking is we are triing today and for future episodes for lack of we might change this name but a uh a mechanics master so they're not a true game master in the sense of like they're not planning our whole

[2:08] session our story they're more of like an augment to our campaign that will help us Implement you know gamify our sessions and into Implement some tabletop role playing elements so today we are are very lucky to have our good friend Ryan here uh to be our mechanics master so welcome to show Ry hello thank you for having me yeah listeners of the podcast might recall a mention of me from Season 3 Episode 1 where you refer

[2:34] to me as a professional dungeon master in Canada who has a white guy name we did yes did actually have we struggled with it too we also listed Nate is in fact also a white guy name yes just a bunch of white guys yep hanging out

[2:48–3:24] [Editorial omission.]

[3:24] it I think what really stood out to me from the times we played together was nobody knows I thought rules more in and out um not just of DnD D's like game mechanics but like really any table talk rling game mechanics and also just the rate you did math is just unnatural like you you could just very quickly total up our ability like honestly we would start to like do the math he's like you got a 62 and we would be done and I thought

[3:50] that was really impressive and that's what we need on the show is somebody who can intr introduce those mechanics but not like slow the entire story down so we'll do a couple quick ice breakers and talk about uh your mechanics that you're introducing for the game today and then we'll we'll dive into our story so I'll ask you three questions so one what is either favorite tabletop game role play game or set of like mechanics

[4:18] and then what was the last character you made for any kind of tabletop role playing game and then third what was your favorite death Moes part of season 3 oh good question so um I would say I well the the ttrpg I play the most is D and D 5e it's the one I'm doing all the time so it's definitely up there but I also like um there's a system called uh kids on bikes or kids on brooms which is

[4:44] similar to what we'll be using sort of adapted off of that and some others um and then there's this other one I have never had the chance to play but I've been interested in which is like a Marvel's Multiverse ttrpg with like a superpowers system the last character I made is one that I just recently started playing with our friends uh his name's Thor the keeper of Scrolls he's just your classic old old

[5:11] wizard he's 92 coming out of retirement to try and save the world yet again and he's crotchy and I love him sounds like a lot of Nate's characters yeah crotchy old man is your type yeah that's that's me we actually all have our like go-to character we talked about the other day Ryan so like Nate is like the old guy from like The Amanda Show from way back in the day like hello what's going on

[5:38] mine is always some kind of like Russian vatal for see the only accent I can kind of do without like just being horrendous and then yours I would say is sophisticated high class female who's condescending but willing to help the party for a price something to that extent so funny that totally won't come up really soon into the session definitely not um oh yeah and then my

[6:04] favorite moment of this season so far I mean I know it's a really recent moment but we gotta love Pierre I'm a big fan of Pierre in that scarf and then I also every time jar butts his head into the apartment is also a treasure have you guys ever like met a real life jar I'm lucky to have not um kind of the naive

[6:29] like hey what are you doing and I'm going to tell you something different but they're going to believe it anyways CU they don't want to cause any waves like that's probably totally where I got the character from so Ryan have you ever looked at like the cyberpunk rule set no I didn't know there was one yeah so there's a cyber Punk ttrpg and originally I wanted to use those rules for this season and I bought the book and after looking at it

[6:56] and reading the book I'm like there's no [expletive] way where do with these [expletive] rules like we are so used to 5e the cyberpunk rule set is so out the window that I'm like there's no way we're learning this let alone teaching Nate how to use this and I hated it if you wanted to make a hacker character like if you've ever played the cyberpunk game you can make a hacker character and that

[7:21] actually involved a whole other [expletive] mini game within the game so you would have to have your setup for your characters but if there was a hacker character you would actually have to have a little side dungeon that he would have to Traverse with viruses and back alley software and I'm like this is so [expletive] stupid so that is why we decided

[7:46] not to run that for this season of daap monks imagine being the DM for that like now not only do you need to like hand the campaign but you need to plan the campaign within the campaign for sub classes like yeah it's [expletive] off I I couldn't imagine and I tried watching like the shows with cyber Punk they play it and I'm just so not in the loop I'm like this isn't that great yeah if a

[8:11] game system is really making you work to learn it and not giving much excitement in the process then something's wrong yeah so Ryan tell me about the game system you plan on using for the da monks season 3 podcast yeah well it's actually it's a combination of the ones I mentioned earlier kids on bikes and uh one of my favorite sort of D and D shows uh Dimension 20 uh on drop out they do

[8:38] NE are currently doing never stop blowing up which is where sort of lots of the names for these skills have come from though I'm sort of merging the two uh a bit of both um so since we've got eight skills that are tech for technology related checks stunts for anything uh sort of agile or quiet or fast uh wi for all checks to do with the mind

[9:03] and you know noticing things remembering things hot which is for all sort of Charisma based roles weapons is for weapons braw is for anything strength and fighting related drive as for any sort of vehicles or driving and tough which is sort of physical resilience um and essentially every character uh has a different size of D for each skin skill

[9:29] so your best skill uses a D20 for 20-sided die and your worst skill has a D4 four-sided die um and so it just sort of yeah represents uh which skills you're good at you'll get higher roles at statistically there's a few other small mechanics such as uh you know you get tokens whenever you fail rols and you can spend those to increase future rols um and then I guess the the levels

[9:56] of your failure or success will change depending on how far away you roll from the difficult this is so simple Nate even I can manage I believe it Nate how did you break out your skills so like for for Roy I put Tech as my top right because we're like he's like kind he's he's tech savvy because he works at like you know he works for a

[10:22] COR so that that makes sense right and then I gave him stunts as my next one which I didn't normally consider him like physically apt but because it was was like I imagine it's like cuz he's spritely and has like like small female hands that you that you said he dextrous dextrous that's what I'm going for um and then towards the bottom you can imagine Drive was my second to last one because of the accident he caused the first episode um brawl and tough were

[10:48] really low too like he's not going to win in a fight he's not gonna withstand pain very well I actually put weapons in the middle because they're like a form of tech so what about you how did you do this for ash obviously for those of who have been listening we based the the season characters kind of off of ourselves so I actually put raw in the D20 so that would be our hand-to-hand combat so I am very adequate at that and

[11:15] also tough is the next for my D12 because my life is in constant pain anyways uh wits after that because I do like to stay alert and I think me and Nate actually both both have wits in our top three and I think that pretty much coincides with the podcast because we're not a bunch of [expletive] dummies out here so that's why we both put it at least

[11:40] the top three and then weapons I also put in the middle because like you know it's a [expletive] weapon like everybody should know how to use a weapon at some point uh Drive is next I put my Charisma low because of the way that it was described to me I am a charismatic person and real life but that is only the people that I like so I put hot at a D6 kind of lower

[12:09] on the end uh stunts which is our dexterity is also extremely low I am not that dextrous of a person I am more of a strong kind of guy and dexterity is not my forte and then finally dead last I put Tech and I think if you have listened to the show since day one you should be aware that I am not Tech savy

[12:35] yeah I agree Nate like all of that is pretty accurate to you except your charisma would be pretty high up but I agree that like ash does not come off well to most people Y and then I put it in the middle for me I would also say in real life my Charisma would be higher but for I imagine Roy thinks he's charismatic his nipples are always ack the dead giveaway that was based off

[13:01] a true story uh Ryan I don't know if you listen to that oh yes I heard listen to every moment internationally famous do we we ready to actually go into this the actual fun part okay here we go death

[13:18–14:00] [Editorial omission.]

[14:00] last time on da monks I introduced Roy and Ash to some new weapons and a sweet new ride that my smelly pep pep threw together I guess he's not always so bad but I won't tell anybody that anywh who Roy takes the State Farm mobile to the corner of doj drive and gabana getaway to race some naked foreign guys and actually wins for once crazy huh they stop by Ash's apartment to pick up the boy and discover Midas underbite is banging their neighbor's mom or something like that kinky anyway they

[14:27] finally get to gunco and it sounds like a lot of fun honestly Ash and the boy Bob for grenades while Roy infiltrated the dusty server room and that's when some gun cun arrive things look pretty hairy I wonder how the gang's going to get out of this one Inferno out I'll add Nate and Ryan if you're wondering why in some episodes we use Nate's voice and why we have mine in my mind that's how Inferno thinks he Ryan oh what are the

[14:54] chances how terrible is that all right so where we left off you and the boy entered the server room I am relieved that I thought you were uh perhaps some security coming in but you were not however you were quickly followed by some actual seemingly big tough security guys at least one of them is massive at least 6'4 if not taller and then another guy who's very like I

[15:20] don't know what's that guy's name from Looney Tunes oh Pistol Pete no no that is that Sam is it Sam you somebody Sam y Sam Canada with a win one guy looks like yosity Sam and then the other guy is just this like bouncer looking like 6'4 um but he's got um we're going to give him like a a really curly like pencil mustache o yeah and uh me and the boy

[15:45] are eating corn dogs I don't want to forget that I'm going to ask you one more time boys what are you doing here in this Dusty unused server room that no actual gunko employee has ever used in a recent period of time sir like I said before I have a kindergartener and he needs to use the bathroom real bad and we just accidentally walked into this place it's

[16:11] you know no fault of any of our own we'll probably just be on our way go ahead Ash and give us a dc5 hot check to deceive oh my God it's a five yeah yeah all right you need your you take the bard of the bathroom but what about what about this other one what is he doing here oh hey I'm uh Geek Squad uh I'm just here to apparently you

[16:38] guys haven't updated this thing in forever and uh we got to install some updates so you guys are going to have like the power shut off and some weird crazy stuff going on you don't want that that's going to ruin the whole picnic am I right I wouldn't want to ruin the picnic you also give a dc5 hot to check uh two you suck as if any of our corporate hups are going to get anyone to touch

[17:03] these servers Roy's going to lick the computer and uh he's like seeing like the loading bar so he's only like 50% through whatever process needs to execute [expletive] I need to buy some time um and I just look over at Ash and I kind of like signal like down as if like to his pocket well then I start doing like a a hammer motion

[17:30] I'm I'm not understanding boy are you picking up what he's putting down and then I take another bite of corn off oh wait I think I understand I spit out the corn dog I reach in my pocket and I pull out my hammer that is now the shape of a credit card and I am ready to push the button I give him I give Roy the nod you guys see that both of these Security Guys reach for these fancy weapons on

[17:56] their on their belts seem to have some sort of thumb print detection so nobody else can use them but then you hear echoing throughout the server room my apologies your credentials have recently been changed access denied word tnation Roy what what was that did anything change on the screen after that like credentials check go ahead and roll uh a tech go and roll a tech check that

[18:22] is my best skill guidance dc5 eight yeah you everything seems good with the computer it sounds like the access was denied to the thumb prints of the weapons of these guards as they go to try and pull their guns from their belt interesting I'm going to keep that to myself and I'm going to be like these

[18:47] guys look like a bunch of thumbs and I like make like gestures I I wink back at you and then I immediately unload my hammer and it goes into full hammer for from the credit card and it's ready to go like you can see the um energy starting to build up in the gravity hammer and I am ready to [expletive] sway what the hell these security guys pull out their fists because their guns

[19:13] aren't working and they'll they'll go at you I swing go ahead and roll uh a weapons check here with's your weapon that would be a five on the die these guards roll a two yeah you go ahead you swing your Gravity Hammer uh bash into the ground and they fly back against the wall um and and

[19:38] slide to the floor as they struggle to get up does that impact the computer I'm working on at all luckily no his aim was very good they hit they hit the wall where where the door is Ash I'm going to be honest your weapon is a lot cooler than mine I I was really on the fence for a while maybe I was just a little jealous but that was dope as hell also we're at 6 %. thanks man like that felt really good like smashing people like that old guy fell down and that really

[20:04–20:15] [Editorial omission.]

[20:15] he as you guys are talking you see they've gotten up and these guys both go to reach one reaches for Ash and one reaches for the boy oh don't touch the boy I'd like to try to use my blow dart ooh go ahead and roll the weapons check seven uh the uh guard that you shoot at rolls an eight you see the dart flies

[20:40] into uh into his hand as he raises it up and glares at you through his fingers rips out the back of his hand what are these guys on ash well I don't know what your weapon even did like you just poked a hole through that guy is the computer done yet we need to get the [expletive] out of here man 83% what the [expletive] and also can you grab my Dart

[21:06] okay sir sir we're going to need that back he's only got so many of those all right here it is he goes to stab you with it oh my gosh I hope this actually lands and hits you I'll get you to go ahead and roll a tough chck tough okay that is going to be a seven on the die ooh he rolled a n [expletive] see he stabs you right in

[21:32] the collar bone with a dart all right so now Nate describe what the bonus features of your [expletive] Pink Blow Dark Gun are so how this is designed is it's supposed to be not like a weapon to inflict pain so much as like the first person it enters it like absorbs memories and then the second person it enters it like transferred those memories so Ash uh you are flooded with

[21:59] memories of a child like playing outside with his dog and they're having a really good time and then they go inside and the dog like rips up like the couch and like you basically the whole life of this dog you like you like experience and then at the end the parents are fighting they're on a farm and then kind of Old Yeller style one day your dad goes out you hear gunshot and you don't see your dog ever again and um a tear

[22:26] goes down your eye and now you're back back in the scenario with us as if time had not exchanged at all I think at this point I would just sit down and just start crying I'm like what the [expletive] happened to me the security guy also sits down like marshmallow why can't I remember you marshmallow I remember him like

[22:52] yesterday I use that moment I'd like to sneak up and with one of the keyboards that isn't being used in the other computers I want like unplug it and just try to hit the guy over the head with the keyboard fabulous go ahead and roll the weapons check kind of is a keyboard a weapon or is that a TCH it's a six with a weapon sh a six you co over and you bash this guy over the back of the head and he falls face

[23:18] down into Ash's feet just like marshmallow who is marshmallow and I'm like yelling you wouldn't understand well boys I think I maybe in a little over my head but you might want to be careful if you stay here much longer uh I'm about to bring up some friends and uh they won't take too kind till you hit old marshmallows owner be right back and he kind of scurries out

[23:43] um nervously um into the hallway Roy I think my mom made the best pecan pie I run over and I just rip the dart out of his hand and I like Shake Ash I'm like ash it's not those are that guy's memories they're not yours like what the [expletive] was that I didn't like it I've never seen you cry before I

[24:09] didn't know you were that sensitive I don't cry Roy this is [expletive] you know I saw that golden retriever that I loved since 100% [expletive] I'm like okay thank God we got to get out of here he's about to come up and bring his friends and I get over the computer and I'm like typing like parly on the computer and I confirm okay it's added us into the gun code database I think we're good here and uh a bunch of like pop-ups start showing up on the

[24:35] screen almost like a virus and then one shows up in the Middle with some text and Ryan what do I see on that popup please don't go without me we could help each other uh Ash I think I'm getting an ad on the gun code computer for an escort service um do you I know you know a lot about uh viruses on your computer could you take a look at this that is not normal do you just see pop up no no no

[25:03] no no no not an escort yep not normal just hit this download but that's definitely how you get a virus I he asked kindly all right give me your Hollow lens okay take it I plug it in and put the visor thing on and then I hit the download button downloads super fast way faster than the previous download and then the hollow lens Flash

[25:28] is a a pink and a and a purple and then back to its usual color that's it I literally say that like to nobody what happened nothing nothing happened Ash I think I just downloaded a virus on your Hollow well if it's not doing anything right now I mean how much of a virus could it be like I don't really know anything about it like it's harmless we start to hear noises in the hallway I'm like [expletive]

[25:53] barricade the door the boy is immediately on it oh and the boys like are dox ma now like we won't do rolls for the boy unless we want to introduce some like maybe chaos Mechanics for the child I'd be down for that but we like to kind of make the boy just do really random [expletive] and be very unexpected and overpowered he could have 20s and every skill yeah oh I like that okay yeah yep all right well let's try

[26:19] it out let's let's [expletive] it let's do it live uh let's roll for him barricading the door fantastic with a 14 you guys blink away look back to the hollow lens and look back to the door and all the servers in the room have been pushed over to that side Roy he's he's good man like you should have saw him bobbing for grenades like this [expletive] is good we're going to have

[26:45] a talk about that when we get back but right now help me tie my Ascot into some kind of rope we can climb out of this window perfect let me show you what I know I tie a bowl in go ahead and roll a stun [expletive] that's a one it's a one yeah you go ahead and tie tie a notot in this assc that should hold you Roy I

[27:11] guarantee it almost yeah I'm going to say no Ash that literally wouldn't hold my shoelaces together um here let me show you maybe it just needs um a fashion little bit of fashion sense and some some men's touch are you still wearing the Fedora yes I remind you I was still wearing the Fedora um but that's okay I'll roll a stunts as well then yes went

[27:38] behind my computer 11 ooh incredible yeah you tie a beautiful intricate knot around some of the a ve a very sturdy looking hook that is mounted in here for for some reason as I do it I'm like see Ash over under and I proceed to like do this like really horrible nursery rhyme that reminds me how to tie an ascot and don't ask why I

[28:03] know that well I usually don't get jealous of another man's knot but that is a really nice knot right right and then here banging on the door okay time to go uh grab the boy grab the flash drive out of the computer and let's get the hell out of here I got the boy under my arm okay I I'm just going to be wearing your Hollow lens like we how does the hollow lens collapse cuz like we're not just carrying a helmet around with us all the time right so okay side

[28:31] note I've been watching this really weird show on Amazon and it's like X Files but cyberpunk and sometimes they got some [expletive] going on so really like in their Universe it's just [expletive] Rayband sunglasses that's [expletive] mirrored and then that has a little anten so I say we ditch the anten and it basically just looks like sunglasses can you go ahead and say

[28:56] antenna one more time for me antenna Hannah antana yeah antana it's isn't antenna you know what I'm not from [expletive] Rhode Island so I don't say things weird all right I say it normal like say Nevada how do you say Nevada we're not getting in this so it's a pair of Ray Bands then basically it's

[29:21] not as like okay yeah it's not over the top as yeah as elaborate as we made it seem okay whatever uh I fed up your Ray bands stick them in my pocket uh grab my my my uh paper towel holder thing for the blow dart encasement and we start climbing down yes yeah go ahead and but both of you roll a stunt we'll say difficulty four [expletive] oh it's a

[29:46] four [expletive] oh I dropped it on the ground it's a four I'm keeping it yes perfect you guys slide down so carefully this Ascot is very very smooth and slippery but you managed to hold yourselves and just inch your way down what is this made of I don't even know but this [expletive] is fine as silk man um now how do we get it untied from the knot up

[30:12] there I have no idea how it works [expletive] Pierre just walked around vigorously with it and it just followed him everywhere it went maybe if we just keep walking forward it'll untie itself I don't know how good of a knot you made it was a beautiful knot I give you that but maybe it was too good as this happens as you're ranting at me uh a gentleman gets in the window he's like oi they're down there like hurry up and uh he starts grabbing and like pulling the Ascot up and I'm like pulling the

[30:37] Ascot down I'm like [expletive] Ash he's going to take the Ascot help me all right I help you pull both of you roll a bra a brawl check against this guy at the top it's not my best 15 three he rolled an 11 and your 15 plus 3 gets you to 18 uh you guys beat him by more than five he goes to pull it up and you guys

[31:03] go to pull it back he flies out the window wow it's only three floors right you should be fine no he's dead bro he landed on his neck look at him as we look the body is scorpioned over and his head is facing the complete other way I I don't think he made it Roy as that

[31:30] happens the uh the announcer guy the picnic's like and the winning ticket is 3 21 609 I checked my ticket did I win we can roll lock check to see if you actually did roll it go go ahead and Roll Just A D20 and if you get a 20 you won it was a one all the numbers are different [expletive]

[31:56] let's get out of here Roy piece of [expletive] game anyways we make a run for it and uh yeah do we do we encounter anything Ryan any issue I feel like because of the excitement of the raffle everybody's like kind of distracted just those guys in the building who are now trying to run down three flights of stairs at a Texas roadh house which Ryan do you have Texas Roadhouse in Canada no we do not

[32:21] do you have like Saskatchewan Roadhouse or like some other Province uh nowhere that I frequent what a shame you're missing out man yeah if you ever come here we'll treat you to a meal on Texas Road um we'll say as you guys are zipping out through the crowd um well first of all you notice that the Ascot there's still a trail following from when you guys entered um as well as

[32:48] where you guys are leaving um and we'll say uh both of you roll a a wits check um roll one for the boy as well and it's difficulty difficulty six I got a seven boy got a 15

[33:13] oh and I got a KN all three of you managed not to get lost in the crowd and the boy points at where Roy has stored the hollow lens and sees it flashing and once you guys pay attention you can sort of hear noise coming out of it I think I think you're getting a call Roy on on my thing you

[33:38] know I'm just going to go ahead and say that's yours now because honestly I don't know how to [expletive] use it so go ahead and answer that call it looks like uh I I pretend to like hold I don't even think handphones like look like this anymore but I do the like pinky thumb I have like the sunglasses on and then I have like the the pinky thumb kind of phone gesture I'm like hello hello you might want to hurry up there are gunco forces following your

[34:05] Trail really I I mean I could have maybe in how do you know that who who is this who is it my name is Nova I'm an artificial intelligence you just rescued me from the gunco servers now if you could hurry yep that checks out to me let's go Ash okay I don't know who you're talking to but I'm going to [expletive] go and I'm still carrying the boy uh she's still on the line I'm doing the thing now where I like I take like the glasses off and I kind of whisper to

[34:31] him and then like so anytime I'm not talking to Nova I like take the glasses off but I'm like I take glasses I'm like hey uh so says it's Nova she's an AI apparently she was in that computer that I just uh downloaded something from on your Hollow lens and she says that we're being tracked by gcko now we should get out of here well anybody could have figured that out and also that is your Hollow lens no let's get the [expletive] out of here I put it back on um yes we agree

[34:58] that you are very helpful and we would like to meet you in person where can we find you at what address in person I don't think you understand I don't have a physical form I'm in your Hollow lens I'm like holy [expletive] I like take the glasses off as she's in the hollow lens I'm like I like gesture at the glasses that doesn't even make sense Roy how can a person be in the hollow lens no no no

[35:26–35:51] [Editorial omission.]

[35:51] like a good neighbor and I step on the gas any uh we drive up get back back to uh take that same exit uh nice thing about Earthbound traffic is there's not a lot of it since most people aren't traveling Earthbound anymore um so we make great haste uh and we get back to uh inferno's Hideout which is really just a very obvious Warehouse uh in the middle of a rest stop pep pep uh Inferno

[36:18] we got to talk stat we have uh a guest uh I didn't make any sweet tea I guess you can go get on that now I I didn't know we were having more company no she's not well it it's not I okay that's fine pepep Inferno where Ryan Inferno where are you yeah I'm here yeah inferno did you did you have a head cold

[36:44] this whole time you sound completely different today oh yeah there's just there's something going around you know dust there's dust you should look in that no listen Inferno so we just got back from gunco mission accomplished uh thank you very much we are installed in the gun code database so thank you for that um what do you know about sentient AI what don't I

[37:09] know um a lot okay that's what we thought um well listen uh actually maybe it's better if you see what I'm talking about and I hand you the holl class yeah you guys see he puts them on they flash a quick Pink as he puts them on and they start to sort of like do that thing where they they glow in color as a voice speaks but you guys cannot supposedly cannot hear

[37:35] Nova as it's going directly to him okay yeah one sec and he takes the hollow lens off and uh sort of plugs it into his setup um and rigs it so that it can bump out through some speakers oh better got better can all hear me yes yes you sound great yes boy can

[38:00] you hear the AI thumbs up all right so she's an AI which is a program that can sort of think for itself if you guys have any questions you can go ahead and ask okay well first of all um why did you ask me to download onto my Hollow lens start with that well for all

[38:25] transparency I was once stored on the beacon group systems uh but until the protocol was triggered I I was able to escape and uh I tried to get as far away from a beacon group as I could which was the dusty old unattended gunco servers um but I was stuck there because they don't have great connection

[38:51] okay bacon group's terrible I get that you're now downloaded like I I guess you're in our computer now can we trust you after a quick search through local networks I can see that you're all wanted by Beacon Group which makes you good with me I'd have a distaste for them ah enemy of my enemy is my AI or my neighbor tail is old as time all right

[39:17] she seen it once you seen it a thousand [expletive] times okay so if that checks out for us then what intelligence can you give us on be grw for instance this kid they were after do you have any information GI to say no unfortunately looking through my databases it appears the the only thing I have as a short recording where a boy was mentioned but no details were had I must have escaped

[39:44] prior to his involvement well Nova you don't seem to have a lot of information of us but we are willing to work with you if you work with us if I were to tell you that we were infiltrating the Paradigm game GES what would you think of that oh I've always wanted to try my hand at some saet Tre do you know about the conspiracy that we've stumbled upon for the paradig games crab people not crap

[40:11] people it's something else [expletive] well I'm afraid I won't know what conspiracy you're talking about until you share Mom's the Word but all right I'll play my cards uh according to Inferno the beacon group plan to ignite all of the New Hollow lenses during the Paradigm games which you need to observe the games which will burst into flames and potentially take out half the

[40:37] population of Beacon oh yeah that's protal um I've heard of it I I know of it but afraid to say I did not take that information with me when I left their service that would have been very helpful what can you do for us Nova cuz we could just plug we could download you into a toaster if you're going to be this uncooperative the boy gives a

[41:02] thumbs up I can find information for you if you'd like the files on that I can get working on that right away I know Beacon service like the back of my program oh okay you've ear your place we'll take that she's part of the team yeah you're of the hyho we hi and then just then as

[41:28] that happens uh we get the like notification that like U one of the important like not the emergency broadcast but the like Beacon group like override broadcast is about to come

[41:44–41:53] [Editorial omission.]

[41:53] the Paradigm games biotech obviously has finished its calling and so has Beacon group but now gunco has some Hot Shots coming into the scene with two new entries for these Paradigm games a certain Ash and Roy I haven't seen these fellas before but I have wor that they know how to handle themselves also VC Inc has finished its timeline and all of

[42:19] its entries are in as well as the lens Corporation and finally in last place is Amazon Ian Amazonian yes okay Amazon Ian Ian different from a normal Amazon so now that all teams are in place and all of the ponds are in motion it is only a

[42:44] matter of time before we start these Paradigm games and as the broadcast goes out it actually lists the team rosters for all of the teams and we're like ooh Who we teamed up with and uh Nate what are the names on the gunco roster that are on gunco it is obviously Ash Roy there's a person called

[43:11] link I am using a random name Gator there is a person called slide and there is a person called ooh Alco I like that actually Alco so um that sounds like a good team match yeah Roy we have link slide and Alco like I've I saw him compete last

[43:37] year and they're no joke oh yeah do oh yeah so link right handles all of like the interface stuff right slide is a very dextrous or you could say stunt heavy character and then Alco man he is a root he has a lot of cybernetic enhancements he doesn't look

[44:02] very human but I'm willing to overlook that because we have a good shot at winning these games wait a second are we even playing these games we're supposed to get proxy yeah why why am I getting so invested in this oh right proxy yeah actually Ash she's on a team wait what and so I go and I read through because this is actually a cut previous episode so on the episode roster does in fact

[44:27] list that on the beacon group team is uh two N Point uh proxy might is underbite yep her son jir who we did not know is employed by Beacon group in fact we're not sure if he is and Greg oh my God Ash practice is in the games they do you think this is intentional do you she's not a be poy why is she on this roster I'm sure they

[44:53] want to get her killed Roy but honestly if we're looking at it from an advantage point of view we have a huge Advantage we have one extra person they're a winning team last year Beacon group actually they've won [expletive] 12 years in a row they they're [expletive] Unstoppable they're used to dealing with four [expletive] people but we have the upper leg right boy thumbs up gosh so man this plan so before we

[45:18] were just supposed to get on and capture the hearts of the audience and sing a jingle that was going to let them know that they were about to be burst into flames if they don't take off their Hollow [expletive] I need a work on that jingle easy as pie but now we have to also rescue proxy of M all this and she's a competitor I don't know how this is going to work I don't even know anything about these this paradig games that you're talking about you've never watched I'm all for corporate you know like ra you know go Beacon group but

[45:45] when it kills people like that's just that's very very not corporate cool in my opinion well to be fair I only watched last year I I haven't started following it since that I think and as that happens we get uh uh some notifications pop up in our email which um I don't know somehow we still get email notifications and we receive our invitations to what is a Champion's dinner dear ventured guests and

[46:10] competitors in these Paradigm games you have been invited to the Champions dinner or ball if you will all Champions will dress in their best attire and arrive approximately at 8:00 p.m. be prepared for a Rules meeting followed by a fantastic dinner and accompaniment of entertainment we look forward to seeing you well please RSVP and good

[46:36] luck this could be our chance we could rescue proxy get her out before the game start and then still carry out our plan what do you think I like it boy what do you think thumbs up Nova do you think you could get us like the agenda for the games oh of course that should be easy oh I've never been to this Citadel before that's exciting now we just need to do some research anybody here have

[47:03] any actual knowledge of the the last few games I brought the sweet tea if anybody's still interested in that oh pepep I'm glad you're here don't care about the tea but could you tell us a little bit more about like how far Pat do these games go well nobody ever cares about the tea and he sets it down on the counter I was here when they first started the Paradigm games I was just a

[47:30] boy probably 6 years old and that was when the first one came about these corporations they they were fighting a lot you see but not in the sense that you know like they were straight murdering each other in the streets like gangs finally the mayor had to put a stop to it and he instituted these Paradigm games oh yes these Paradigm

[47:55] games it was it was very fair you see because the corporations obviously wanted to take over each other and that was a problem it led to a lot of Bloodshed a lot of people without jobs terrible terrible thing really I miss Gretchen she was my wife focus pepep no one cares about your dead wife her bosom was amazing but back to the Paradigm

[48:21] games the one stipulation is you see that you know every so often changed the rules obviously to make it more entertaining to the fans but the biggest rule here is that if you are at the bottom for 10 years in a row that the top Corporation the winner of that 10th year can take over your entire Corporation a very Mortal Kombat style

[48:47] scenario if you will oh very rough indeed lud's tense was the year that I first watched and they had lost 10 years in a row makers of fine wagons but we don't use wagons anymore so they couldn't really get a roster together to compete terrible thing one year they had a person you know like he was a criminal

[49:15] that everybody said okay thank you pep very helpful yeah you guys see a bunch of math go over the screen and I was like how old is this man who's this lady you remind me of Gretchen your voice anyways keep it in your pants old man we need to rescue our friend how do we win the Paradigm games be what like strategies do we see winners like repeat over and over again oh as long as you

[49:40] have a well-rounded team even though Beacon group wins almost every year they have a very well-rounded team one specialist in each area that the games kind of surround there's always a person who's sneaky there's there's always a person who's techy there's always a strong person and then there's a person with a silver tongue capable of talking

[50:05] a man into letting his wife fool around with another man oh Gretchen why did you fall in love with that guy from Beacon group I don't understand it of course he was a paradigm game Champion I has completely stopped listening oh and another key strategy for the game is the champion dinner you know that's where they make all the

[50:30] alliances I yeah you're probably right we're never too Keen to that as private citizens or whatever the [expletive] we are like the games the dinner happens and it's all just hoyy toyy and you think they're upper echelon people just having a good time but I'm sure nefarious things happen in there like crab people yes Ash like crab people crab people yes

[50:59] Ryan you remember they're the ones that stole Gretchen from me that's the only way that he could have taken her is it televised is the is the the Champions dinner televised of course it's televised you donate $5 to their fund or whatever the [expletive] and then you can watch these rich [expletive] eat cavar and talk to each other it's very boring I

[51:24] never bother with that part well if we need to put on a good show I think we're the guys for it am I right Ash oh you [expletive] know it dude I have a feeling that we're going to go in here and get some people to like like tug at their heartstrings you know and they'll donate stuff to our cause like I once read a story uh like that was kind of like this and Katniss like loved this

[51:51] guy named Peta and then like they delivered some [expletive] soup to him it was amazing that sounds terrible I would never watch one to three movies about that Nova can you please do an analysis on how likable Ash is to a general audience I smile go ahead and roll a hot check what's my [expletive] hot only a [expletive] six that's a

[52:16] one um I don't have the software to do an analysis like that she doesn't have the software yeah I get it Roy I get it you know it's a lot to algorithm my face I get it all right so clearly we have some work to do I'm going to work on the plan to bust proxy out of the champion dinner so she doesn't get collateral damage during the competition you're going to work on

[52:41] being likable can you do that I will try my best great Nova is going to look up the agenda for the Paradigm games and see if she can get the files for the conspiracy so we know a little bit more about when they plan to pull the trigger and uh Inferno yeah you're GNA do something very helpful that I am unclear of at this very moment and I'll make some hot

[53:06] pockets finally you're welcome Ryan folks listeners thank you so much for listening um Ryan oh my gosh that was so much fun I honestly feel like this is the first time Nate and I finish episode and we're not exhausted awesome I'm happy to hear it thanks for having me thank you have any words of wisdom for our listeners before we sign off today I do on Spotify or whatever the

[53:32] [expletive] you listen to feel free to comment send a text message let Nate know that you care about this show I get the buzzsprout [expletive] feed and it says that we have like 140 something downloads an episode just send us a message let us know that you hate us or appreciate us or whatever the [expletive] tell Ryan hi I'm going to be in the comments if you're not there with me come on right party in the comment section of Spotify uh as

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[54:24] pocket and I I I think that's it for tonight I had a great time thank you again Ryan and thank you Nate that was probably the most fun I've had in an episode and I look forward to the next one yes agreed thank you and good night good night y'all by congratulations you've survived another episode of death monks did you

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[55:39] podcasting for 50 plus more episodes of conspiracy theories messy onshot campaigns and of course all of your favorite Nat one hijinks now thank you a ton and we will talk to you next week