A Breakdown in Commute-ication

From 0:00

0:00just so you know Daft monks is half talk show half actual play Campaign that features adult language and topics viewer discretion is advised let's get to it yeah hello and welcome to the Daft monks podcast season three it's a new beginning hey Nate Trace baby season 3

0:25we made it we did first off congratulations Nate uh we're probably the first podcast to do a major

0:30–1:13[Editorial omission.]

1:14Nate I mean where do you want cuz like listeners Nate and I also we did a big marketing event at after the season finale at a at a convention and then it's been just the summer kind of Summer travel different training events and then fourth D is coming up so we were just getting back in touch with each other so Nate what do you want to talk about first things first Nate let's talk about the con and then we'll talk about the thing we're trying to do yes

1:40absolutely very excited to talk some about some of that stuff all right so listeners uh it was about a month ago now so if you're if you're if you signed up and subscribed to us and been waiting for us to put on episode we apologize but last month we were at the Phoenix fan Fusion event was a pretty uh pretty large convention I don't the numbers but tens of thousands of people and we had a booth right outside the exhibition Hall and I'm sure everybody who went to the

2:06exhibition Hall knows that because we did not stop just slinging our [expletive] or all uh weekend yelling at random people a lot of yelling at people oh yeah I mean we tried the gambin it WE peer pressured we heckled we begged y compl yeah M you tried being nice that was shocking oh that was awkward more people left from that than anything no we definitely had like our different audiences I look forward to talking to

2:32but uh yeah we we basically just had a booth we gave away a steam deck really cute Story the grand prize was a steam deck and I went to a listener who he had said that his computer was like super out of date and he couldn't like play his Steam games so now I hope he can play on his brand new steam deck and you're welcome if I was a competent marketing person I would have pulled up his name oh okay so his his his username is Emerald Archer so we'll just go by that I won't say his real name we'll just go uh congratulations Emerald

2:58Archer on your steam deck wind and I hope you're listening to the [expletive] show and I didn't just give you a $600 $700 piece of s like hardware for free right for nothing so listen to the show Emerald Archer just listen you have to listen if you haven't listened to all episodes of in this point you definitely need to listen on entirety of thre 3 then you can like move on right then be happy it's in the contract when you sign that ticket you actually also agree to these terms and services it was in the fine print at the very bottom so sorry

3:24we didn't mention it was actually on a ticket that you wrote on you should have read that that's your fault uh Nate what were your thoughts that you've never been new well I you've done some you you live close to Vegas so you've done what was the gaming a level up Expo and it was um similar to that except for I enjoyed ours more because I didn't have to walk around the massive

3:50hordes of people I just got to sit at my little table where I'm safe and then just yell at people so uh I had a great time there was definitely a a wide variety of people it was just nerds it was just nerds that's really it it definitely started off really well for us listeners because as soon as we got there the booth next to us Hilton vacations homes which what a weird sponsor that like like these like these

4:16people literally are taking like a day off to buy like $70 minis like do you think they can afford a vacation home like I don't know if it was the Right audience but any who the booth next to us or the sponsor next to us didn't show up so immed imediately we were given their Booth or half of their Booth so we took their table we took their chairs we literally like moved the railings over we literally reorganized the whole thing before anybody noticed and then what little space was left was taken up by

4:42the Chandler Police Department yes all they had was a little table with pencils on like what are you giving away did you hear actually what they were giving away no it was like something like track children like I ended up like in a good way like to keep track of your children somebody eventually came over and I think cracked a joke and they're like oh no they're giving out these I'm like oh that's actually kind of cool um we just got stickers but uh neat but that's a way to track children as well be like

From 5:00

5:08where's the sticker like oh there it is it you know absolutely my coworker does events and she said put candy and stickers on the table like chocolates and Jolly Ranchers and I'm like that's a [expletive] stupid idea but I did it Nate and what I learned was all the kids would Scurry over and then their parents would come to claim them and that's Nate when we struck yes when I would seal the deal be like oh you got kids I got kids

5:33don't they suck so you know what makes your day a little bit better listening to Daft monks podcast and they're like which your children cannot listen to which you reminded every parent uh which makes sense lots of cussing I definitely learned I thought like the steam deck would be a big draw and it definitely was for certain people however people know what a prize wheel looks like Nate like they see a wheel with things and they know they're going to get stuff and so they saw that wheel and people like

5:59you would see it like people would just come over and like like start like swinging their hand out like that's not how that works and I would usually be really n about I'm like let me tell you my pitch blah blah and you were just like you literally would always start with if they tried to do that there are rules is how you would always start that conversation but they respected the rules and then they followed anyways they did you kind of like shamed them into like signing up and then I just

6:24bribe them I think my strategy was bribery and yours was like shame or flirtation or just any other means of deception yep there was a lot of deception going on I was rolling great all weekend yeah it it was also hilarious because like sometimes they' be like D and D pod and no one give a [expletive] and then they'd be like free stuff and they'd come up and they be like why didn't you say it was a D and D pod I love D and and I'm like well Jesus Christ you know like whoever what like no matter what I say it doesn't matter

6:49what do you want yeah there was like I think six people maybe that were like oh I don't even want a prize I just want to follow a good pod and I'm like well this ain't it but sure you don't want a prize well then like I just out of habit I said D and D pod like when's the last time we rolled dice on that so if you're listening to us we mostly do roleplay guy like it's as if we're playing D and D but then we got bored of the dice and just stopped rolling occasionally we'll work it back in but like we it's it's

7:16the murder hobo shenanigans that you come to love and like like let's face it honestly even on the pods I listen to Dungeons and Daddy's like the part where they roll is not like except when it's like funny and they roll a now one on something or whatever it's not the most exciting bit no there's nothing out yeah the only time it's exciting is when you're actually at the table and you can see somebody else roll and you're like oh what they get cuz even when we play on Discord I'm like oh my God hurry the

7:42[expletive] up even though you're using an auto clicker you know like Jesus Christ let's hurry this along just do it just do it Nate we got

7:50–10:13[Editorial omission.]

From 10:00

10:13convention was really great getting back on topic we had over 800 subscribers we've only seen we have seen a little fall off Nate some people did immediately unsubscribe um but I think maybe like 20 people out of like 800 or something it wasn't bad oh that's not bad hopefully I was seeing we we arguing people going back listening to the old stuff they probably have been waiting for some new stuff and the good news is now we're back we're back on track recording season 3 uh we kind of just

10:39took like a summer break right I was really hoping for that colak cthulu filler episode but that never showed up I don't know what happened yes so it's not I well first of all uh Donnie if you're listening it's not like that's a bad episode it's [expletive] 3 hours for every one hour is 6 to eight hours of editing for me so three like every time I go I've now spent so much time on that when I go back into it I'm like no nope

11:04I just close it like so I need to finish what I'm thinking is maybe publishing that in a two-parter okay but it also doesn't have like a very obvious midpoint so it it's just been I've been exhausted I'm moving Nate we haven't talked about that yet on the podcast it came out of nowhere but uh so Donnie uh it's a hilarious episode I just let's never record three hours again because the amount of editing is Bonkers

11:29right and then it being called a cthulu too it's not our normal Cadence of banter which I think is a little bit easier for you to cut through and edit through or is this banter [expletive] that we do in the beginning and then yeah it was great it was just like like I said I am just doing you and I and this patterns I learn and with a just any third person there is a little bit more like I have to pay more attention and just like and just edit out a lot and also I did like a filter a little bit on

11:55Donnie just to get his quality a little bit better so it Donnie it's going to go live it's going to be beautiful but it's promise it's just also taking forever

12:04–23:32[Editorial omission.]

From 20:00

23:32–27:38[Editorial omission.]

From 25:00

27:38and that almost Catches Us up the only other thing Nate I kind of wanted to talk about is uh have you been playing any games lately I played some Street Fighter 6 I've been playing a lot of that and then now I have jumped on to Diablo and let me tell you Nate the Druid is the biggest [expletive] disappointment in my entire [expletive] life I was looking so forward to playing a druid in a Diablo game and immediately gets [expletive] on all over the [expletive] place

28:04I am more than disappointed I am ready to I already gave up on it I made it to level 40 and I have given up on him I'm playing a [expletive] Necromancer now because the Druid is such a disappointment like everything else in my life I was there when you found out about the jured and just lost your [expletive] and it blew my mind that I didn't know that this was like a thing that the internet was upset about classic we both have like our different stereotypes or our audiences Nate is the angry internet

28:29audience I think generally especially when it comes to straight white males um and so that's my demographic Donnie are you listening are

28:39–30:11[Editorial omission.]

From 30:00

30:11did open up but um I how was Diablo 4 I've yet to I've played the past Diablos two was phenomenal three was not as much as we wanted kind of cartoony yeah what was four four is uh amazing right now as far as the story and the cinema and the world that they built like obviously I haven't got to endgame yet because it takes me [expletive] 26 hours as a druid to try to get to level [expletive]

30:3740 but other than that that's wild Nate cuz back in the day you basically played the story and you're literally maxing your level like a day yep I haven't finished the main story yet like I said because I got so disappointed so I played with the Druid I kid you not Nate for maybe five six days and then whatever hours that I can obviously I'm a dad and I have white work fulltime in a quarter of that time I have almost caught up to him with the Necromancer

31:02because it just [expletive] blows [expletive] away everything else is great and then I did forget about the the learning curve because I played so much Diablo I I had I couldn't even tell you something [expletive] crazy like 300 something Paragon points so I would just immediately Max stat everything if I made a new character and he would just be overpowered as soon as I started and then now starting in Diablo I with nothing I'm like oh man I forgot how

31:28weak you start out well tell me how the end game is cuz I mean that's like I remember the story I feeling like really underwhelmed for Diablo I and then really enjoying the endgame content so let me know when you get to that point I'd be very curious I I am a fan of Diablo it's been a minute I I know right now I'm already a fan of how their system is set up because in Diablo iiii it was you needed to find certain armor sets in order for a build to work and

31:55this is a lot more open to where just find aspects and you can put that on whatever [expletive] Armor you want and then that is your build no I I support that well looking forward to it Nate I have been playing more games than I usually do oh so tears of the Kingdom uh is really good for Zelda I I just left the tutorial Island it's huge it's massive anybody who played the game like the tutorial is like a pretty big thing like

32:21many hours or at least a couple hours if you're taking the time to explore and it's good but it's so big and wides scale and massive like I think I'll be playing that game for months or possibly years oh dang whereas so Final Fantasy 16 came out anybody who knows me I'm a huge Square Enix nerd really love Final Fantasy that's demographic you got a lot of people over the table with your uh Final Fantasy knowledge for sureh yeah

32:46that was like the only thing I recognized cosplays from you recognized a lot of that was definitely one of your strategies too was like calling out their cosplay but come on blank name Vash the Stampede y Bridget from Guilty Gear strive that it worked tag him and bag him it worked Bridget came right over I bet you're listening right now Bridget Bridget I hope you're doing well um don't remember who you are um almost broke the yo-yo remember I almost broke their yo-yo any who where were we even at I don't remember video games oh games

33:11uh Final Fantasy 16 pretty [expletive] good Nate turn-based combat is officially dead for jrpg in Final Fantasy Oh I thought I was going to hate that nope that all is super polished smooth it has like some of the cool elements of like a Souls game mhm and then the like elements and the of a final fantasy so do you still get like a whole list of abilities or how does that work nope so it's not you know like there's a lot of like Real Time games where you still boun between a menu for people who know

33:37like Kingdom Hearts that's kind of like a hybrid FY 15 was a hybrid now it is kind of like playing MMO with like you have cool down timers and abilities that are either spells or physical basically you keep getting powers of the major Final Fantasy summons you can map those abilities you still have a limit break which is just like a heightened power mode you can Channel up to three different element Souls abilities and then you can like mix them it's pretty cool it's it's a very uh indepth

34:04thoughtful battle system and it's all action but it's fun I I didn't miss it at all um the only thing I will say is it does pacing wise sometimes it like you have this like really epic story event that was like pretty wild and then suddenly you're doing MMO like go click three flowers a which older final fantasies like didn't need to do like that was something you could do on the side but that did not really happen as like part of the story right to push the

34:29story forward do you know anything about Final Fantasy 10 Nate no not really Nate I I played a little bit of seven and that is the extent of my Final Fantasy 10 for me is kind of like the kind of standard for Final Fantasy and that game starts off with like you show you wash up in a foreign realm and then you go on a pilgrimage and then you discover that your dad is sin and then you try to kill God and like it just keeps escalating

34:54and like at no point do you stop and be like collect seven flowers you know like and that's the only thing is like this game uses mechanics that they use in MMOs because they worked in Final Fantasy 14 which is an MMO but at the end of the day it's just kind of like I don't really want to do that in a single player game right but otherwise story is really good it's very dark Game of Thrones medievally oh I like that I definitely would recommend it if you're casual jrpg afraid of the action-y stuff

From 35:00

35:19in the new game nah you can handle it I can handle it you can handle it it's very generous with potions and dodging toming I was really happy with it I'm maybe 20 hours in with probably a good 30 plus hours left and lots of hunts and bonus content O So Final Fantasy gets a DA monks approval recommendation I give it an 8.5 out of 10 possibly even a nine but just the pacing sometimes doing like really boring quests as part of the story drives me crazy and hub world

35:45[expletive] and then they throw the shop at you they're always throwing the shop at you and then I noticed to Diablo is doing that now too where it's like it's the same icon for if you get a level up or if you have like a inbox message I'm like oh what's that so I click it and it's like come to the shop and I'm like [expletive] you I don't want to come to the shop plus all the Druid ones look like [expletive] like so what am I going to [expletive] buy you know half the time I'm a [expletive] bear

36:10anyways one of the worst ones that I've seen in a while is I went back on Mortal Kombat 11 just a little bit ago and they actually took it down because it was so bad it was as soon as you hit the start screen and you're back in the main menu about 3/4 of the screen was hey have you tried Hogwarts Legacy I'm like what the [expletive] what's this have to do with Mortal Kombat and yes I've tried Hogwarts Legacy like what are you [expletive] you doing here what is it cuz it's made by the

36:36same people why I think WB Games yeah wow that's aggressive oh yeah like to advertise another game in that game that has no not like a crossover marketing event but like it's just open Smash Bros like hey you like Halo like not really but like right oh yeah it's bad all right thank you listeners for letting Nate and I uh if if you're new we do always start with a good 20 to usually arounds more like 20 minutes of banter

37:01we call it banter it's just conversation honestly it's really important guys it it warms us up it get lets you into our lives and me and Nate don't see each other we're in different states right now this helps us get like in a good place to do some really fun roleplay if we if we just started with the role play it would be terrible and now it's just kind of bad so you're welcome and I've actually had a a random person come up to me at Jiu-Jitsu class and they're like I love the banter party for your

37:26episodes like I found your podcast I love the banter it's just once you got to the campaign that is kind of too far out there for me that's fair and I'm like okay that's that's fair you know everybody has Different Strokes that's that's the that's the compromise we made is it's it's always one or the other like no I don't think anybody listens to our episode 100% usually it's there's some people but some people are here for the banter and some people are here for the campaign so if you're here for the campaign then go in Spotify you can

37:52literally just click the time stamp and it will jump you to the part of the episode that is the campaign that's the new thing I started doing but if you're here for the banter then just go ahead sign off I don't care like whatever sign off when you're done we we try to give Best of Both Worlds um but to me it's really just about Nate like I think this is like a warm-up for us and it gets us ready to just do dumb [expletive] oh yeah so we are ready to reveal season 3 for the super fans a trailer did come

38:17out do you want to talk a little bit Nate about that trailer yes so the trailer it was actually just in the story which threw some people off from what I'm told they were expecting us to just talk about what was going to happen but no if you took a snippet of the world that we were going to be playing in that was the trailer it was a teaser it was a teaser yep so um if you don't know our world is cyberpunk and we are

38:42set in the future so imagine cyberp Punk 2077 Johnny pneumonic Demolition Man uh Blade Runner but in the universe of Rd Hunters no we don't plan to follow up with the same characters we're going to make some some fresh characters I'm actually really excited these characters are very much exaggerations of ourselves yes yes so that's going to be fun but Nate's really passionate if you didn't

39:07know this by now Nate's pretty passionate about like the Cyber Punk genre that we thought it would be fun to do something we needed a break from Belmont man hsing so we want to do something a little different and our one goal I would say we put a lot of time into it it's maybe not exactly where we want it to be but we actually took some time these last few weeks to talk about the world what is the bar in that world look like you know like what are the neighborhood like we asked ourselves a lot of questions we want to try to have

39:33a more concrete World instead of like me and Nate literally making everything up on the spot this actually is a world that kind of has like a system some politics some other stuff we try to acquaint each other with it so that when we role play We're within the confines of of universe it's still going to be funny it's still going to be cyber Punk but it'll also be a little more serious yes uh definitely dark dark undertones because everything cyberpunk is depressing because have you seen the

39:58future that they're living in it's awful but at the end of the day it's still us so we're gonna try to make it fun yeah I

From 40:00

40:04–40:14[Editorial omission.]

40:14goal so season 3 we're excited to kind of unve it I think today's episode is almost like a session zero if you've done you know like a a tabletop role playing game I think we'll talk a little bit about the world and then we'll jump into a little bit of episode one all right so we talked about the theme it is cyber Punk we talked about like what we want to accomplish like having a world that has like parameters I don't know boundaries like we can't roll out in a roller scooter in the sun Temple

40:39right it has to at least be cyber buky yes like a giraffe shouldn't be like flying a wing giraffe like that doesn't make sense that's definitely going to show up now somehow I'm sure but unless it's a cyborg Wing gir and then we'll allow it it's like what was a Chucky no not chuckecheese toys rust their mascot was a d it's G be like a cyber giraffe store that sells like toys come on in kids like oh they brought that back I [expletive]

41:05hated that place and that's the show that right there is uhome there you go I think uh starting out I'll go ahead and read the history that I wrote up it's just a small little thing of Beacon City Beacon city is where the fall of Van Hing happened and the climax the finale of

41:30the last season I think I'll pick up with the history of Beacon City and then from there we can talk about our characters a little bit and then get into the role play for just you know a little session zero style get your yeah get you a little taste yeah your lips wet so here we

41:50–42:33[Editorial omission.]

42:33not not this voice not me Legend haard to the three Immortal Heroes along with a pregnant donkey established what was once Beacon a safe haven for everyone that didn't wish to live with the constant fear of monsters creatures and everything else nonhuman Beacon became so popular that it grew in size over the coming decades now a dominant force in the country the people of Beacon took it upon themselves

42:59to eradicate any and all magical beings left in the land after a few hundred years the mission was a success there were no longer any traces of magic left in this new world though some say it merely went dorment waiting for a time to show itself again with the fear of Monsters and magic out of the equation this led to an industrial boom Beacon soon found itself at the center of this boom becoming a city in the process some

43:25of the most influential bus businesses were now in power overnight the entire country relies on Beacon City for every aspect of its future like every rise in power some thought that Beacon City held too much sway in how the country was being run and a Revolt was to take place a revolution that would alter the course of the country from here on out extremists took it upon themselves to destroy the city placing nuclear devices within its walls the explosions that

43:51went off that day leveled a huge portion of the city and left radiation that is still a problem all trust in the federal government was lost on that day the only ones left with enough power and sway were the corporations themselves usually at each other's throats and vying for power they found themselves temporarily Allied together these corporations took it upon themselves to wipe out these extremists rebuild what was lost and finally establish themselves as the best

44:17option for the ruling party to govern this new country thus Beacon city was born a new Bastion of civilization where technology would be pushed to the limits in order for a better future the people craving safety work and the promises of a better future flocked to new Beacon Tech was the new business and it was booming the corpse raking in all the profits continued to build themselves up pushing the gap between the upper and

44:43lower classes the latter is no longer able to provide and resort to multiple jobs or smalltime illegal activities just to get by the corpse turn a blind eye as long as they remain in power and control to ease the burden and separate themselves from these crimes they took it a paw on them to create a political system to be the buffer of the blame for a majority of the city's problems a mayor was created now out of the public

From 45:00

45:08eye the corpse do whatever they want with no repercussions that is our beginning history of the world that we are living in in Beacon City and then this city being so thick you know and hustle and bustle like there are hundreds of thousands of people that never even leave the city they are born here they die here they never even step foot

45:34outside the gates of Beacon City and like that's the the vibe we really want to go for with this absolutely uh all right so the character I'm going to play I went with Roy an enthusiastic ladder climber he is drinking the Kool-Aid at his job he has worked the same job his entire life I imagine you do your schooling when you're younger in Beacon City and then like you take like a evaluation and then they match you with a Corp like

45:59that you work for he lives in the dorms in the corpse so the corps literally have dormitories in like the slums and like you literally live in the dormatory for your Corp and that comes out of your pay yeah and fun fact that motivation came out of the military who charged me for my meals at my twoe training so that's where that thought came from so yeah Roy is like when you went to work and that guy's like man I cannot wait for culture day or whatever he's like I'm going to be on the fun committee cuz

46:25I'm going to make sure everybody loves their job job that is Roy like he really is passionate about his Corporation Beacon group is the corporation that Roy works that for it's also one of the major do we say how many major corporations make up kind of the tribunal um as of right now writing I have three but we can always add more that's what I thought corporations as a whole have power over Beacon City but there are three main ones and Beacon

46:50group is a big one it's literally named after the city so vegan group is uh one of the ones in power in fact I think currently is the current mayor or Beacon group mayor yes y okay yeah so anyway Roy super on board loves this job he's been trying to get a promotion for quite a while and it just hasn't worked out for him but he thinks today is his day does he think that every day yep yep and then as far as what he looks like 510 stocky short brown hair balding uh he's

47:18me guys he's literally like he literally is me if you've met me so just kind of like a stocky average in every sense I'm going to say he's a little bit more under fed because he's on like the Corp meal plan which is like just very minimal and not like super it's mostly just focused on like the bare minimal nutrition that you need to like live so he's he's not as like thick as I am but otherwise he's like average in every sense probably I'd say he is early 30s

47:44birthdays in ear late December no um yeah beyond that I didn't think too much I don't like to get into detail like yeah whatever blue eyes if you need to know that [expletive] yes we'll probably change some of that as we go I don't like to say he has size 12 shoes because later we'll definitely end up making him wear like clown shoes or women shoes and we'll make fun of it like Nate made fun of the size of my hands at the convention I going to be playing Ash he

48:09is an electrical worker at a power plant but he is also trying to make it big by writing Jingles for Corporation ads he's

48:18–48:33[Editorial omission.]

48:33is a bummer it is me so imagine just me if I didn't have a wife or a family and I just had my job and this podcast and it would just be depressing but he tries his best to to make it through and then I think how he gets majority of the joy in his life is by talking [expletive] on other people and seeing how bad they have it and then he's like well at least I don't got it that [expletive] bad you

48:59know these characters are exaggerations of us by by another name so pretty fun I think that might help the roleplay too to just be a little bit more organic at least me Nate's good on his toes I I'm a little it's like the cogs are just slowly abruptly turning sometimes with me yeah re really excited um I think the the ash Roy Dynamic it works for us in real life so I imagine it will work eventually but they're going to come from different worlds and yeah their

49:24their worlds are going to collide I'd like to start the roleplay by talking about Dante yes okay so all we know from Dante is a symbol that he places on things after he has done a Cyber attack it is just a very menacing looking fiery d uh not a not a penis the letter

49:49d and any other time he's made like a visual representation of himself he's always like AI like CGI behind him fiery wall of flame and he just is this black shrouded cloaked figure trying to portray himself as being very menacing and very edgy and just overthe toop in general I absolutely Nate when you described him or when I listen to the trailer I got am man from Legend of Kora

From 50:00

50:15oh yes yes yes yes yes that's perfect too yeah I like that all right so obviously that trailer was like a prequel kind of so that already happened that broadcast went live Dante works out of a van it's like doing the hacker thing in the back of a van and I I think this is important I it's a question I never got around asking you what does transportation look like to you because that's that's part of Roy's plot for the

50:40first day I imagine and tell me if I'm wrong I imagine there's still vehicles on the ground but that is more reserved for like lower workers but then there's like more expensive things that we can call them hovercrafts whatever you want right no you are absolutely correct so a majority of the poor people can't even afford a vehicle so they're just walking on the streets and trying to use public transportation and public transportation

51:06in Beacon is a [expletive] absolute disaster yeah everybody else besides that will have a car that is on the ground if you're part of the lower middle class yep and then upper or you get Nate your character being working for a Corp and in a Corp building there's probably either some kind of shuttle like a Google shuttle that flies body from the corporate 100% so we didn't we didn't coordinate this 100% I I just want I

51:32want to make sure we're on the same page and we are anyway Dante's working out of a van on the ground level on like the actual Earth level of the roads because nobody would suspect that and anyway now we start with ro this is like a Monday morning in Beacon City we're going to start with Roy waking up in the dorms so Roy wakes up in the morning he has to be at work for uh 8:30 he gets there for 7 so he's up at 5:30 to just prep himself

51:58he does some exercises in the morning in his bunk he has like a room but it's kind of like I don't know if you saw futureama it's like a closet it's like a college dormatory really like but even like less flattering it's very very sterile and very very corporate it has like the like Vision like Beacon group's mission statement is part of the decor and [expletive] like that anyway he wakes up and immediately he looks at a photo of the president and CEO of Beacon group

52:23it's just like his head shot I imagine

52:25–52:56[Editorial omission.]

52:56yeah and and you know how people will like do sit-ups to like a version of themselves out of shape or like you know Arnold or like he does like little like a couple crunches he only does like he does like eight crunches and like that's enough for today coming for you big guy and then he starts to get ready and he like whatever he does that stuff so he gets ready does his thing and he goes out to like the common Hall so very much matching like [expletive] awkward like but it's very corporate he goes to the

53:21common Hall which just has like assignments and like project priorities you know how like we have to go home and like not think about work like maybe you get some texts or emails but you just don't check them but here it's like you're like your TV like from the hours of like 6:00 to 9 have like news and stuff managed by the corporation by the way but then like from like you know 6:00 to 8:00 a.m. it's like your assignments for the day on your television so anyway same thing when you

53:46go out in the common Hall it's like a lot of information to do your job even before you get to your job so anyway he's like checking he's always like on point he like double checks what his priorities are and he sees he has a special assignment from his boss he actually needs to drive in that day he has to pick up a vehicle from the parking sector which driving on the lower level is not common for people so not people some people people don't know how to drive he's like oh [expletive] like all

54:11right whatever and he goes down to the parking garage um and so he like goes up to like the little like kiosk booth and he enters his his employee number like everything is done by your employee number like you know how like Social Security is like your social security number is used for everything here it's like you want to buy something you enter your employe ID you want to like register for your parents funeral you put your employer ID he enters that and then the guy turns to him or holograph or whatever you want it to be I I think it's still a person yeah like yeah for

54:38for something this mundane they're not allocating technology and resources they put a real person in and he's like oh Roy I haven't seen you down here in in quite some time yeah I got this uh special assignment and frankly I'm just glad they trusted me to drive a vehicle after what happened last time and uh the guy laughs and then Roy laughs and then they remember he like literally like glided into some this vehicle and I don't know if that person survived or not hey what am I driving today and the

From 55:00

55:04guy like digs through some files pulls out like a rental car key thing but it looks more like a fob or like a or I don't know he like scans his player ID and then it like adds the vehicle startup information playy ID is going to be like the credit cards of the future or whatever or like the the Apple pay or whatever yeah yeah so he like puts it on his ID and he's like uh like row seven parking spot 16 and he's like oh wow like I am really at the bottom of this

55:29uh facility and anyway he goes down and he he finds his vehicle like oh tires huh oh kicking them well this is uh not part of my usual job description but uh Hey every day is an opportunity to learn a new skill to get to the top because one day I'm G to be the CEO of Beacon group and I'm like saying that to somebody who's like smoking a cigarette and then just like blows smoke in my face and he's like or you know vaping or

55:54whatever they're doing then and yeah I'm going to go and spend about 20 minutes trying to figure out how to start the vehicle I want to say as you're like getting into the car one other person comes out and they're like oh hey Roy have a good day and then like you turn to look at him and then he gives you like a dirty look and then he keeps walking to the guy smoking a cigarette and like gives him a fist bump and then keeps R his name was Roy yeah he gets really excited for a second and then and then it's like ah he

56:21gets in the car and I also want to imagine like they reused a lot of older vehicles so even though they function differently they have things like cassette players in them like you don't do anything but they're just like whatever we have these vehicles like we don't want to waste it it's very I imagine for the lower level there's a lot of archaic technology so immediately Roy is like trying to put his like employee ID in the cassette player it's not doing anything and eventually he like drops it onto like a little pad and

56:47the pad kind of like magnetic charging for your phone it's just like employee ID 7654 872 welcome and he's like yes welcome go and like immediately like reverses into that I want to imagine that guy who like was making fun of him like was like walking back to his vehicle and the car just like backs up into him and like knocks him over he's not like dead or anything but like hits him and like the guy kind of like falls down he looks back he's like huh forward

57:13I'm going to say uh after you backed into that guy a little icon on your heads up display pops up and the voice from the car pings in it seems you were in an accident of some sort please watch the tutorial on Earthbound driving it's only 30 minutes long on the mebe channel click yes for more I'm going to say he like I'm don't got time for that and he hits no and then it's like you've been subscribed to

57:38the Earthbound training program we go over walking driving communicating greetings he's like I don't got time for this I'm only going to be 90 minutes early instead of two hours and he's just like let's go baby and like changes it into question mark there's like a question mark on the gear shift and then starts driving man I wonder why they even gave me this vehicle and in the back you do hear or he doesn't hear cuz

58:03he's oblivious but the person who's on the ground like whose foot is like clearly broken now here some like rattling in like the trunk like something unsecured is definitely shifting as this car who hit him is driving away now and outside of the the motor garage so now we are into the day of the life of Ash now I wake up in a very [expletive] apartment to the sound of

58:28gunfire BL BL BL outside I look out my window it's a normal occurrence but son of a [expletive] I'm up two hours before I'm supposed to be and you know it's like too late to go back to sleep but too early to really be awake so like [expletive] it I'm awake now so I wake up and I hop on my little computer and I just start surfing the web and then somehow I lose track of time and then now I'm almost

58:53late for work um I run outside I don't have any kind of um transport at this point it's currently in the shop I don't know how to fix things myself so I sent it to a very seedy location where they're going to charge me an enormous sum of money for some stupid amount of work it's probably something like a one spark plug is blown in my car but I don't know how

59:20to fix it myself so [expletive] it I'm going to spend the money and just deal with it and then [expletive] about it so you know I'm

59:26–1:01:50[Editorial omission.]

From 60:00

1:01:50down at my watch like a [expletive] I'm going to miss the bus all my ranting got me laate again so now I I start running but I'm not in the best shape of my life so uh I'm getting a little and Nate I imagine as you go running you start running and you weren't really like paying attention at the moment cuz now you're like oh [expletive] I'm late and you almost get hit by this uh I don't know what what do you want to what kind of vehicle you want to describe um Roy driving oh Roy it'd be a like very late

1:02:16model so like when we're picturing vehicles for The Listener um we are still using in our mind a 80s future reference so it's a very it's retrofitted but it's still like the 80s it's a very 80s sedan and it just has like some [expletive] tubes and [expletive] coming out of the side of it it everything looks aftermarket like uh it was just a piece of [expletive] that they're like you know

1:02:41what we're going to use it has a logo of your company on the side of it yeah so as Ash is crossing the street hastily he almost gets hit by a beacon group car and as like the car the car doesn't even move he just like jumps out of the way he's like what the [expletive] and the car just keeps going and then nothing like it they didn't even acknowledge that it

1:03:06almost hit him or anything like that well son of a [expletive] I guess I couldn't be that lucky if I got hit by a beacon card that'd be a sweet payday but of course they don't know what they're doing and then uh instantly on my heads up display on my uh lens system imagine our lens systems that we talked about in the trailer exactly like the new iPhone glass thing that came out the view or whatever the

1:03:31[expletive] it's called so it's completely transparent you can just see my eyes it looks like I'm wearing some like Yeezy Shades or some [expletive] like that but then when a message pops up then one side goes opaque so I can read the message but I can still see out of my left eye and it's like a message from the beacon group sorry for the almost Collision have a good day I also want to imaginate that the the lens option you just described is

1:03:56actually for poor people because only poor people are out like in the Sun and so the alternative to that which does almost the same features is a hollow watch so and that's what so that's what most people so Roy has a watch almost like the [expletive] R2D2 like be but it like comes out of his watch and so advertisements updates emergencies um newscasts that you didn't ask for um we

1:04:21will'll play on that it'll just activate a lot of times without you doing anything so that that is the more if you're a white collar worker you probably have a hollow watch and if you're a blue collar worker because you're out in the sun you actually need some you're not a very useful worker without you know your corn is working out also there's some weird [expletive] in the atmosphere from all the pollution from the corpse so actually the sun is especially harmful now than more so than it is in like our time so if you have

1:04:46lens you're definitely like a blue collar worker correct I like that a lot so we can cut back to Roy and Roy's like man he's like he's not looking at the road at all like he is on his hollow watch just like typing things in and he's like it really would have been nice if they told me where to park this thing like I've never like I've never even driven this thing into the office whatsoever and he's like looking down he's saying this while he's like and then the car is just like going forward like into like sectors and lanes that

From 65:00

1:05:12are not I don't imagine it's like a two-way Road either I imagine it's like six Lanes but it's like every other lane can go in opposite directions or it's just like what nobody cares right because it's the road M it's Earthbound so Earthbound it's just like don't hit anybody's rules kind of back like when it was like horse and carriage you know and uh so it's just like the car is just doing like very weird Maneuvers to just like not hit people um it's kind of been like an autopilot and he's just trying

1:05:37to find parking and all of a sudden though he does hear like a horn and it's one of the buses that like the only bus that runs on time is coming in an opposite direction and it's just like I I'll edit that in with some like actual noise and that does cause him to look up and he actually does take control for the first time ever he touches the wheel he's only been like holding the the gear and like telling it like forward and [expletive] and uh but anyway

1:06:02he hears the horn from the bus and he does actually swerve it which you're not really supposed to do on Earthbound Vehicles these days like there's literally just like a button that's like Dodge or like pivot I don't know there's like there's like lateral movements and there's like ways to drive these things now that he does he's not aware of he didn't watch a 30-minute video of course and so he literally turns the wheel so then he like almost hits another vehicle which swerves and hits this like nondescript van and that van proceeds to

1:06:29like roll over multiple times and then like crash into the bus that was trying to avoid and hu and it's like a horrible horrible disaster anyway once Roy swerved that was kind of it and he went back to looking on his phone of like where he has to park this vehicle and there's just like a major [expletive] pile up behind him and then uh immediately on his hollow watch he gets a message that pings up on the heads up display but

1:06:54it's also a aned by a voice and it just shows up as soon as all that happens congratulations this is Dante you have successfully taken me out and then I imagine you just like ah [expletive] that and then trying to find the like map of the parking facility at Beacon group um and yeah Roy is just on his his merry way uh let's go back over to Ash

1:07:20in the distance you hear like loud screeching noises and like horn honking and [expletive] I'm like oh [expletive] I'm late and then I start running and then I show up and I look around the block and the city bus is now completely on fire with what was a van underneath of it and then another guy comes crawling out of another car that was involved in the accident and I'm looking at I'm like this piece of

1:07:45[expletive] caused this whole [expletive] thing to go down I'm like hey [expletive] thanks a lot for the bus you piece of [expletive] [expletive] and he is so razzled from being accident he probably doesn't even hear me at one point he's his hollow watch goes off and it's a message and it's like this is Dante congratulations you murdered me and then he swipes it away and then Ash looks

1:08:11back over there and like Rich [expletive]'s got a hollow watch what a piece of [expletive] [expletive] this guy is probably too busy looking at his [expletive] Hollow watch to see where he's going now I'm going to be late for [expletive] work this guy's a real piece of [expletive] [expletive] man and then like people are on fire and trying to get out of this bus while I am the just uh on the ground [expletive] about it and I kick a rock and then continue uh walking to work I am officially going

1:08:38to be late now and it is all because of this [expletive] bus catastrophe going back to Roy he has made it to the parking facility he was able to pull up 17 different emails that cross linked into an eventual map of where the beacon crew parking is on the Earthbound level and he gets to like the gate flashes his employee badge and they like ah I haven't seen one of those in a while uh uh go on in you can really aside from my

1:09:04car you can take any spot you want and he like opens the game he's like thanks thanks pal and they're thanks bud and then he like he drives uh Roy tries to drive in he thinks he's got it now he's just using the wheel which you're not supposed to do at this point and somehow like ends up like trying to parallel park next to that one vehicle in the entire empty lot it's an entire empty like parking garage and he's like I'm going to park right next to that guy

1:09:29he's like I'm going to practice I'm always trying to improve myself and he's trying to like parallel park this vehicle when it actually has a l again it has like a lateral like button he like almost does it pretty well and he's like there and he hits the park button or what he thinks is the park button he then finally does hit the lateral button and just Ram into the side of the other car and then it parks and you hear the like click of like the doors unlocking and it's like thank you for driving Beacon Group corporate Vehicles any

1:09:54damage will be taken out of your page check meanwhile the car alarm from the guy next to you is going off like and then uh he gets out of the car he's like well I don't know why that guy parked there like honestly like the whole lot's open but then he looks back and he can see in the you know in the course of the Collision that the trunk popped open and he walks over to the trunk for the first time even realizing that there was a trunk or that the backs

From 70:00

1:10:20of vehicles open and he looks down and he sees something that can only be described as a child bum bum bum and that's where we're on it today that works for me as always listeners when we start off a new season or like a new story arc it takes time for us to warm up to our character so give us time but with the power of editing and some sound effects this will hopefully be an enjoyable start to season three of The Da monks podcast and thank you for

1:10:46listening this is a ad from biotechnica thank you for purchasing our new DNA approved meat now with the power of of DNA we can provide meat to people that could no longer afford it yes cows have been extinct for a millennium since that one guy was running around punching them but now with the power of biotechnica DNA we can bring meat back

1:11:11back to your mouth thank you like as as he's finishing the advertisement like his hollow watch goes off and he's like this is Dante just like while still on the air you ignored my first message but now is a second message you manag to thwart me and I am going to divulge all of my deepest darkest secrets to you about hacking the net so that was during like

1:11:37a live commercial read and so we're going to think that like we'll come back to this but maybe somewhere someone out there maybe takes some of this information seriously to be continued like another one of these [expletive] ads let me guess a [expletive] prince in Nigeria needs my help and I'm the only only one that can help him like get [expletive] Nate I know a couple people were like oh this Dante guy seems like a like you guys actually developed a real

1:12:02protagonist or antagonist and absolutely not literally from the time I think you made this trailer I was like oh is this going to be a character you're like no we're going to kill him the first episode so got you if there is going to be a super villain it is not going to be that easy he's not going to be named Dante we are going to have a villain it might be Roy and his driving skills the real Menace fun fact fun fact a lot of little tidbits in these stories that were basically our real lives just being

1:12:29said as as as roleplay but it was just us but uh Nate would it surprise you that I failed my first two driver's license tests in Rhode Island it does

1:12:37–1:13:35[Editorial omission.]

1:13:35for listening if you are a new listener from Phoenix fan Fusion welcome we'll be back to a weekly sometimes bi-weekly Cadence so excited to have you you don't have to listen to the old episodes if you don't want to but please if you are a new listener give us a subscribe a follow a like whatever the [expletive] it's called in the app that you are using and yeah we will see you next see you next week leave some comments let us know how we're doing episode number two

1:14:01will be coming up shortly and we're going to jump right into the action see you next week congratulations you've survived another episode of death monks did you enjoy the episode do you love the show do you want to pay for our dental plan if so I think it's only fair that you show that one some love in return no no not not that kind of love please please put it away oh I meant

1:14:26follow us on our social medias and all that good stuff simply click the links in the episode description to follow us on our Instagram Tik Tok and YouTube or click support our show to make a monthly contribution to help pay for all the expensive software Nate subscribes to and don't worry other Nate will see the money eventually as it grows but not anytime soon I promise lastly do you

1:14:51want even more not one goodness of course you do who would wouldn't then click the prequel podcast link to listen to our experimental first season of podcasting for 50 plus more episodes of conspiracy theories messy onshot campaigns and of course all of your favorite Nat one hijinks now thank you a ton and we will talk to you next week