High Noon Nail Salon

From 0:00

0:14Hello and welcome to Nat One Presents Daft Monks Podcast. Hey Nate, what is on the agenda today? Tonight on Daft Monks.

0:24We are not going to Hollywood. My official announcement to compete in something. Why we should never leave our homes. The official Daft Monks season three theme song. Wow, that was a tough one. And last but not least, Nate, are you team Barbie or Oppenheimer? Uh and let's lead right off the bat with that question.

0:44Uh Barbie or Oppenheimer. I'm gonna choose neither, Nate. Neither one of those really tickle my fancy enough to get me to the theater. It's not like Mortal Kombat or Spider-Verse. You're right, it wasn't a blockbuster movie. Oh, Spider-Verse was. Spider-Verse was good. Yeah. But yeah, uh, neither one of those, especially Barbie, it's not in my wheelhouse. I am not the target demographic, which I'm learning. Man quickly, yes, is becoming a real thing. So yeah, neither one. I'm not doing it.

1:15So it's alright, so you you you briefly touched on why you don't care for Barbie, but what about Oppenheimer? What was your reason for that?

1:22Oh, it just looks like a [expletive] boar fest to me. Like, I'm not gonna spend money to go watch that [expletive], you know. Like if I want a history lesson, I'll sit down and talk to Corbin. But that's true.

1:31I'm sure Corbin could also give you a three-hour lecture on the atomic ball.

1:36There was this thing going around, it was like, what's wrong in this picture? And it was like the stars on the flag, there was too many of them for it to be historically accurate for the Oppenheimer movie, and people are making a big stink about that. And I showed the scene to Corbin and I said, This is supposed to be from this era, what's wrong? And within two seconds, he's like, Oh, there's too many stars on that flag. And I'm like, Oh, okay, well, if my soon-to-be 12-year-old son could picture pick that up pretty fast, like what the [expletive] is Hollywood doing? You know?

2:04Yeah, okay, that is a point of view, yeah. Right? I mean, I won't disagree, Corbin is incredibly intelligent. And bitter, you know, and a bitter old man. Well, I wonder where he gets that from. Megan, totally Megan, totally Megan. Well, I uh you didn't ask me, Nate, but um, I did see both of those movies. You did, though not back to back. I uh I was jokingly interested in the Barpenheimer trend to go see both movies. However, and there's a lot of debate about do you get mimosas for brunch and see Barbie and then go see Oppenheimer, or do you smoke like a like a pack of cigarettes, see Oppenheimer, and then eat lunch and then like you know, cleanse the palate with Barbie. Oh yeah.

2:04I can't tell you the answer to that, Nate, because knowing Oppenheimer was a three-hour movie, we opted to uh we have a movie theater here where like they like serve you dinner. You know, Roadhouse. Yes, Roadhouse. Roadhouse. I I like literally forced everybody to go to Roadhouse on a different night for Oppenheimer because I'm like, if I'm gonna sit through three hours, then people are gonna be like bringing me food and meals at milkshakes that might be kind of next to me as like drinking during the movie and stuff. It was definitely like the where we all agreed, like that was the way to see that like soul-crushing three-hour deep dive into history, to a very dark point of history at that. But it was good. You enjoyed it? Actually, both movies were really good.

2:04Oh and let me tell you why, Nate. I started with Barbie on opening weekend, and the expectations for Barbie were not very high, Nate.

3:32You didn't think it was gonna be like a live-action aqua, like a mute the aqua music video, and it's just like exaggerated version of that.

3:38Um Barbie girl, they didn't remix it with What's Her Face?

3:42Nicki Minaj. Um played in the credits scene. Nate, my opinion, um, I'm a little bit biased. I am maybe more of the stereotype that were to go see Barbie. But I thought Barbie was pretty hilarious. It like starts off right away with like Barbie living the perfect life, and Liza's like narrating like the song of her perfect life, but then she like starts to become real because of issues in the real world, and like Liza's like, oh no, sour milk, like in the song, like as the song goes on, and then like it just it's like very like really weird.

3:42And then like within the first like five minutes, she's like having like a dance party at her house, and every you know, again, this is like the end of the perfect day, and they're doing a dance party, and she's like, Do you guys ever think of dying? And everybody just stops, and she's like, I mean, I'm dying to dance. It uh actually like it kept uh me laughing quite a bit. Now a lot of men with like really fragile egos will not like that movie because like Ken Ken is like painted out.

3:42So basically the premise, Nate, because I know you'll never see this movie is that Harvey and Ken, Barbie starts like becoming real and it's weird, and so she has to go to the real world to find the girl who played with her as a doll. Like, so she's like a an avatar for a real doll in the real life, and she has to go there like her real person's having issues, and that's why she's starting to like feel normal and have thoughts of death. Like the person is thinking about death, so she's having thoughts about death. Okay, so I got to not a bad premise so far. Now, Ken is like forever friend zoned, and so he's like trying to like basically like Ken, we don't know where Kens live, right?

3:42The joke in like the start of the show is like all the Barbies have their Barbie Drew houses and Ken's are on the beach, but they're like, Where do Ken's live? And they're like, I haven't thought of that. And Ken's like, at the end of the night, like that first dance scene, he's like, Hey, can I uh spend the night? And she's like, It's Barbie's dream house, not Ken's. And that turns into this higher thing where when they go to the real world, Ken immediately like separates from Barbie and realizes that in the real world, men rule the world, and he starts just like putting on fur coats, talking about the patriarchy and horses. And then the whole movie is actually like, and this is what I appreciate it.

3:42They didn't try to have Barbie go in and be like, let's make the real world better. No, they go back to Barbie Land, and what happened was Ken brought patriarchy to Barbie Land made all of the women like idiots serving the men, and then Barbie's like, What the [expletive]? This is so [expletive]. And and what actually happens is the real the person who like Barbie went to go save comes to Barbie Land and was like and actually helps Barbie deal with like real life issues. It was funny, like it had just a lot of humor. It like I really appreciated Mattel, like right, the company who like manufactured the doll. They made themselves villains, like a corporate villain.

3:42So Will Farrell is just like you know, like the the CEO, and then there's a bunch of guys around him, and Barbie like goes into the office, and he's like, I just need you to get back in the box. Like they have like a giant toy box, like we need to send you back. And she's like, Okay, but like, where's the women who run this company? And they just start laughing, and like, but like at the same time, they like come around at the end. So like Mattella didn't have a problem making fun of itself. They had all of the like bad, like all all they had lots of Barbie lore. So all the dolls that came out over the years, Nate, like that got discontinued because of like controversy or in the movie.

3:42So right away in the beginning of the movie, there's a there was one pregnant Barbie called Midge, and she got discontinued because that was weird, right? And right away they're like all like dancing, and then there's just Midge like in the background pregnant, and then at the end of the movie, the CEO of Mattel gets into Barbie land and he's like, Wow, what a beautiful place! And he looks like midge and goes, like and there's just like there's a lot of that. There is all Ken's, and then there is one Alan in the whole movie because there was an Alan doll because Midge had Alan as her husband. Oh, like there's a lot of like really cool, and I went back and read all about it.

3:42There was end quote, it's called Sugar Daddy Ken, and it's because his dog was named Sugar, and then he had like gay earrings, but they called him Sugar Daddy Ken, and he's in the movie, and it's just like a lot of like really fun references that they're like things they're ashamed of. They like didn't feel they weren't afraid to like actually like joke about it, reference it.

3:42So anyway, Barbie's a really good time, but like of course, like the joke is about how like finding the balance between like a women's controlled world and a guy controlled world, and obviously there's like commentary on like oh well guys have [expletive] stuff up, and a lot of men will probably get I actually got out of the movie, went to use the restroom, and at the Uritels there were two dads that were like, that was rough. But I immediately thought of you, Nate, of course. And then one was like, Yeah, my wife couldn't even make it through the movie, and blah blah. And I was just like, I don't, like, yes, it's it's a little woke and it's a little heavy-handed. So not for everybody, but probably funnier than you would think.

3:42So you have a daughter and you just like rent it at some point, like absolutely, it's it's pretty funny. Anywho, switching over to Oppenheimer, Nate. Yeah, it was good. It was that was exactly as expected. What I will say they did well is it's very fast-paced. They switch between timelines a lot, and that's how they make a three-hour movie feel very like quick. And then the whole thing is like, you know, they're trying to beat the Germans to building a bomb. So there's lots of like urgency in the movie, obviously. That just keeps for a three-hour movie, it the first two hours went by pretty quickly. The last third was when I was like, okay, right. It's after you've been sitting for two hours already, and it's hard for anything. Yeah.

3:42I did go with like some science enthusiasts, like an engineer and like a chemist, and so they were telling me like what was accurate, what was not, you know, like and for the most part, I they didn't talk about the flag and the stars, but like the science stuff was like mostly accurate. Yeah, I think uh two pretty good movies. I'm actually for a while, you know, with the COVID movies, I really stopped going to, and I'm I'm glad some good ones are coming back. I wasn't enthused about Avatar the Way of the Water or any other big blockbusters, and both of those did really well, which is a good sign for movie theaters.

3:42And then yeah, Barbie, I mean, Barbie was like the highest grossing movie directed by uh female now, so that's kind of cool. It's cool to see stuff like that. I don't know about Oppenheimer, I think it just did well. Dang, who would have thought? Now, Nate, on to a sad announcement, and I think you should be the one to break it because you're very sensitive how you you deliver things to people. Right. And that is I do not think, Nate, we are going to Hollywood as we discussed a couple episodes ago.

From 10:00

10:01So we're officially past the mark of when we would have received the invitation because I'm pretty sure filming has started already.

10:10I say Hollywood, uh, I think well, what did they say?

10:12It was gonna be Mexico City, Mexico, Mexico, safest place on earth, Mexico. Yeah.

10:18And they would have gone there for a chance at our.

10:20I would have gone there for Nate for sure. You know, because I don't want to hear it any other way. Even if we're in the middle of getting mugged, I would have been like, you know what, Nate, I'm doing this for you. He's so dramatic.

10:30As if they even let you like they obviously sequester you in a hotel room and then literally like escort you in a place. And then the minute they're done with you, they literally fly you out at like whatever hour of the night. Like, like as if we'd have time to be in an alley. Like, we don't even get to like sightsee or anything like that.

10:43It could happen in the hotel room, Nate. You know, where they also sequestered people. The movie Hostel. Like they sequestered them. It's my word of the best.

10:51Is that a horror movie now? Oh, yeah. No, I know hostile is a horror movie, Nate. I mean like where they're invited. There is the premise of one of your horror movies, they are invited over to a reality TV show, and then that turns it to some kind of you know what? That should be a [expletive] movie because I love the sound of that.

11:09Well, and it would have a very clear ending.

11:12Oh yeah. The what the survivor either does or does not get on TV, which would be funny, but like it, I don't know. Most horror movies we talked about it, like they don't know how to end the movie. So Right.

11:21And the price some people are willing to pay for fame. Yeah. You know, they might actually murder other people and be like, Do I get on the show now? And they're like, No, there is no show, you [expletive] idiot.

11:29Exactly. I could see the whole premise of the movies at least like one person like is killing people too, and it's like a contestant because they think it's like Squid Games, and like, no, they're just trying to murder us. There is no prize. And they're like, No, you're just trying to convince me to lose. Gaslighting me. Yeah. Stabbing them. There'd be at least one of those contestants, and that might be you. I think that would be well. If I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna win no matter what. That's true. Even if it's the the last person to die, you're gonna win. You're gonna win that company. I'm gonna win that. Yeah. I can just imagine the murderers being like really upset. They're like, he's taking all the fun away.

11:29Like he's like, we're supposed to be killing them. He's not even scared.

12:05Let's do this.

12:09But yeah, very sad. Very sad that we didn't that we didn't get uh on the show. But you know what? That's their loss because we would have been awesome and we would have cleaned them out. Maybe that's why they're afraid to not put us on the show because we would have took them for every [expletive] dollar they got. I think so.

12:22That's though, I like to tell myself is they're like, oh, these guys are too smart at trivia and too jacked. They're gonna have no problem pushing the car neutral, and they're definitely gonna answer all the questions right. So they're gonna have ample time to do it. They probably thought we were gonna be sitting there, like, you know, playing games in our spare time with the extra time in the vault. So Yeah, not happening. We didn't make it new, but I thought we were honestly, I thought we had good shots, Nick. We were like a good mix, we were like nerds, but we were athletic. I just, man, I I thought we'd be good. But I I will say this producer was not my favorite, this casting producer, because the other guy was very transparent.

12:22I also for uh the Squid Games reality show, I received an email when you know I was no longer being considered. These people just ghosted us. We literally were ghosted by Hollywood, which means we're getting on the right track.

13:09Yes, right on that list. Yeah. If they were worried about my passport not being here, like, well, joke's on you, because they got here in plenty of time. Yes.

13:19It's here right now. It's here now. Definitely it would have worked, but I I I actually think we probably would have been troubled. It did not come as fast as I originally predicted. It was about three weeks. It was what, more like six? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was like six. So that that that was my biggest fear was the minute, the minute they're like, you got the show, they would have been like, you need to send in the next three days your passport, and we would have been screwed.

13:39Right.

13:39So, you know, it was probably meant to be. And then if we lied about it, maybe we would have got blacklisted from all the shows. So I guess, you know, maybe it was meant to be, and so gonna try to get us on a show, and now you have a passport, so I can drag you to whatever third world country you don't want to go to. The next game show, hostile, which I think is a great transition, Nate, into in general, we are not the type of people that should leave our homes because we end up being miserable. Correct. Would you like to tell me your story? You might yours might actually be funny. Mine was just depressing.

14:10Well, like it wasn't miserable per se. We tried to do a last-minute vacation, like a little family vacation, one last hurrah before Corbin goes back to school, and actually Roscoe's starting school this year. Oh pre-pre-K, I know he's a big boy now. So we figured we'd take a beach trip. And obviously, Corbin has his reservations about going into California. He said he would have preferred to go to Florida, and I said that's not [expletive] happening. But so we did make the trip to California, and it wasn't bad. Megan drove through most of the traffic because she knows that I would have ruined the vacation single-handedly if I had to drive through California traffic. So she took the brunt of it in the beginning, and then I drove kind of on the way back.

14:10But it wasn't too bad. We went to the beach, boys played, I helped Roscoe build a Sandcastle Empire, and Corbin decided that he would instead build weapons of mass destruction to attack Roscoe's Sandcastle Empire, and that was the biggest fight that we had over the course of the weekend. There were tears, there was pushing and shoving. It was it was a mess. Boys will be boys. Other than that, I think it was a successful trip. The boys had fun. Megan may or may not have eaten some ranted lobster at like a little tourist trap restaurant. Got him. Got him. She's like, does this smell like hair dye to you? And I smelt it, and I was like, in my head, I'm thinking, yeah, that totally smells like hair dye.

14:10But out of my mouth was like, I don't think it's that bad. But I looked it up, and apparently a lobster, if it's dead and then you cook it, it will give off that smell. So it doesn't necessarily mean that it was bad or tainted, it just means that it will died. Yes.

From 15:00

15:55So I mean, what does that matter? Like, right, we eat dead things, but like I guess I would not necessarily like worry about that. But if it did she feel ill afterwards or did it smell really bad.

16:07No, it just smelled really bad, which is I guess is why that people like kill the lobster immediately and then throw it in the pot or cook it alive, that way it doesn't give off that ammonia smell. So we I learned something on the trip, you know, so that's a bonus. Yeah.

16:22Just like when you kill humans, Nate. Like we what happens, right? We like empty out our bladders and everything. Like we're discussing.

16:28And then uh we actually produce that thing that attacks our brain. I watched a whole show on that. If you are a cannibal, yeah, if you're a cannibal, it creates some kind of enzyme that slowly starts eating away at your brain. So that's why people say cannibals go crazy and everything, is because they literally do. Yes, it's this weird enzyme that we create. It's from actually eating human brains. So it you could eat someone's body and that's fine. But if you eat their brain, then it's this weird enzyme that actually attacks your brain, and then you start losing it, like starts burning holes in your brain. It's the craziest thing.

17:00I mean, evolutionate or just whatever science is fascinating because like uh I'm guessing our bodies developed that of like, hey, stop eating us. Yeah. So our bodies were just like like not us as people, we couldn't come up with reasons to not get eaten, but like our bodies created enzymes. So I mean, it didn't probably stop a bunch of chemicals, right? But in theory, it's kind of like a discouragement.

17:22Yeah, like evolution was like, you know what? This guy is eating other people, so maybe we should put a stop to that. Though funny you didn't go to Florida. Have you ever, Nate, played the Florida Man game? No, but Corvin is a huge fan of all the Florida man memes.

17:40So oh, well then he he'll love this game and maybe even do this now. The Florida Man game is when you go into a search engine and you type Florida Man and then enter your birth date or any date you want. And usually for your birthday, you'll get a Florida man, like Florida man does bat salts and murders six children. Like, you know, you'll get stuff like that. Like I think I actually did mine and it was like Florida Man, like wrestles alligator in restaurant lobby or something was like the one I got.

18:08Mine is Florida Man encases self in concrete at Governor's Mansion. See, I never would have guessed that in my life.

18:17So yeah, fun little game for Corbin. If he thinks Florida is a lot better than California, um, I would I would encourage him to think again.

18:27Uh what about you, Nate? Why uh why don't you want to leave the house? What happened?

18:32It is almost the end of the fiscal year for the military, Nate. The military year goes, or at least the Army military goes from October to September. And Nate, I can tell you that I know it's the end of the fiscal year, not because of the calendar month, but because last month our water was turned off and had our armory and we had to work from home, which that was pretty great, by the way. But this month the Wi-Fi was down and they stopped serving us breakfast.

18:32So, uh Nate, if you're listening or if you're an enemy of the state doing reconnaissance on the podcast, I'm here to let you know the Army is not paying its bills for the end of the month, and we might have some money issues, or at least the Arizona Army National Guard. So, Nate, on top of that, I was driving a Humvee back on Friday here in Arizona with 110 degree weather, and it blew a tire. So I was in a vehicle with no air conditioning uh off of the highway. Thankfully, it renewed a little bit of my faith in human beings because multiple people stopped and offered us drinks. In fact, some laborers had like coolers in the back of their truck.

18:32There was one guy who gave us like multiple wires, multiple Gatorades, and it was very heartwarming. A lot of people thinking for my service. That part of the sad. But it was just kind of like at least if you're in a uniform and you seem broke down, I would never stop because somebody probably have seen too many of those movies. But I guess if you're in a military uniform, people will stop and make sure you're okay. So that was uh that was probably the highlight, Nate. But uh, you know, not having Wi-Fi when you go to work on a military base is often problematic, Nate, because the buildings are usually coated with metal, so you cannot actually get a why a uh self signal inside of there either.

18:32So I ended up staying at a hotel at night when they released us each night because I'm like, I'm not [expletive] like stuff. They don't even have bunks for us, too. Like people think we sleep in bunks. No, you literally like in a bay or like a like a classroom, just take out a cot and sleep on the like there's no bunks or there's no barracks. Yeah. No, for the National Guards, no, they don't do that. So I just was like, that's it. Like it's hot, don't have anything comfortable to sleep on, there's no Wi-Fi. So I'm out of here. So the guard guard wiggins are generally not enjoyable. However, this one was, I would say, one of the worst ones I've had in quite a while.

From 20:00

20:42Did you have to sit on the side of the road with your flat tire for a while while they crunched some numbers to try to get a new tire out there?

20:48Oh, yeah. Well, thankfully, thankfully, we were pretty close. We we were only, I don't know, like 15 minutes away or something off of the highway. We got mostly there. Fun fact, Nate, we actually never felt the tire burst. It wasn't until we slowed down because of traffic that we could tell, like, oh, the tire. Because those those things are rated to like you truly can continue to drive with a flat tire in those vehicles, because obviously if you're like under gunfire, like you need the hell out. Oh, yeah. But we were kind of like, you know, that could still damage like the axle and [expletive].

20:48Like, yes, it's it's rated for emergencies, but if they probably don't want me driving on a 10 with a flat for multiple miles, so it no, we weren't super, I don't know. It probably took like 45 minutes or something for them to get there, which in the seat could show somebody, but we were fine. They and they do always tell you like bring water sources, like that's what soldiers do, it's like you always have to have water. Be prepared. Yeah. So you get, yeah, be prepared. Uh so it was all good. All's a well that ends well, Nate. I am excited to tell you, Nate. I'm officially announcing here on the Daft Monks podcast, you heard it first, that I will be competing, I hope, next year in my first ever bodybuilding competition. Whoa.

20:48I anticipate doing very poorly. Um, I I don't have the muscle mass right now. I mean, I'm a bigger guy, but I've I put a little bit on. But the thing is, I I think like it's kind of like uh when you when you're gonna take a standardized test, sometimes it's good to if you can, to just take the test knowing you're gonna fail and you're like, okay, that's what's on the test. Right. So for me, I'm gonna do my first like really long term. Cut made, I'm at like 217 pounds currently. And for a 5'10 person, I learned innate that 5'10. So most Mr. Olympia winners are between 5'7 and 5'10, or all they're short. Yeah. Yep. So I'm actually like not a bad height.

20:48I'm on the taller range of the like optimal size for like if you're very average height, that you're actually great for bodybuilding for that reason. So it's actually harder for taller guys in the competitions to get the the fullness and like some of the uh specific categories. But I just want to uh basically to get down, I probably need to be Nate to be lean. And though for my height, usually people need to be 150. Oh crap. So I will have to lose something like 50 plus pounds. So that will take a year. I mean, that's a year, honestly, or close to it. So I'm going to begin a very long, prolonged diet phase, get a cut down, try to grow my proportions.

20:48I'm deciding between do you know much about bodybuilding, Nate, or the different divisions?

23:12No, my brother is more into that than me. I'm more of a, you know, jujitsu guy than a bodybuilder guy.

23:18Well, I'm pretty new to it, Nate, but there is kind of like three, there's many divisions, but there's kind of like three types of competitions, from my understanding that you could do men's physique, where they're wearing the swimming trunks, and that's where they really just look at that V taper, like the width of the back and then the very narrow waist, and then legs are literally not factored in, except like maybe your calves. So that one's very much about like the V-taper proportions and upper body. Then there is men's classic that's more like inspired by like Arnold and that stuff. That's kind of like the poser trunks. So that it's not quite the full speedo, it's like the trunks. And for those, they factor in legs, but there is a weight limit.

23:18So you're going for what they say is like an X shape where your legs are big, you got like and then you know, broad shoulders, bigger arms, but then you still have that like narrow waist. Right. I might, I'm so far maybe leaning towards that one because I actually have like so far my genetics have maybe only given me like above average legs. So I think I probably won't do as well in men's physique, but I could maybe do a little slightly better in that one. In the classic. Yep. And then the third one, I think it's called open bodybuilding or something like that. I don't know the exact title.

23:18That one is where there's no weight limit, and so that one's about putting on as much mass while still you know, maintaining symmetry and stuff, but there's like no weight limit. So those guys go in like those big, big like a guy, switching to hell. Yeah, and then that one you are literally in like a speedo. Yeah. So I will definitely not be doing that because there's no possible way you can put mass on that level of mass in a long time. But probably between one of the two. So yeah, my plan is to seems like April is probably the earliest I would consider.

23:18Um, if depending on the progress we made, but I I have a long way to go to cut down, and then we have to see like I've never been that lean before. Do I have good enough genetics to get on stage or whatnot? So we'll we'll see.

From 25:00

25:07What brought this on, if I can ask me? Like, because bodybuilding is definitely something that you need to put a hundred percent effort and your time into. So, like, what like sparked this drive for bodybuilding?

25:19I I mean it's basically my Instagram feed, like it's all I look at. I I even from like I would say from like after high school, like when kind of like the heyday of like YouTube, like I was just really fascinated. Like, I've always been reading about fitness and nutrition. It's just that it wasn't until like I had like a good job and I had enough money to like go to the gym and for like so much of my 20s and it was about grind, grind, grind for work and career.

25:19And now I'm still very much a career man, but I have the resources to kind of like afford to like like okay, if I can't cook a meal, if I can't meal prep all seven days, I can afford a like company that will mail my meals to. So it's possible now to like have a little bit of the money to help offshoot the areas where I don't have as much time. So I feel like in my 30s I have more time. And then yeah, I know. I just like I'm not getting younger, you know, Nate. So this is this is the most fit, the most like as strong as I've ever been. And now I want to get just really lean and see like it's not about winning. I'm gonna get destroyed, Nate.

25:19You've met me, I'm not a bodybuilder. Right. But I'm gonna get destroyed on stage. But I think it's about what is the best version, the best presentation of myself, right? And you know me as a marketing person, I'm all about presentation. So going up on stage and presenting the very absolute best version of me, that's what I'm excited about. I'm not, I'm not thinking I'm gonna win anything. I'm not thinking that I like have amazing genetics. I think that like I'm curious to see what that is for me. Well, if you treat it like a marketing gig, Nate, you'll probably [expletive] win. We'll see. Still still struggling to get listeners to the Daft Monks podcast, despite all my marketing stuff.

26:54Yeah, I wouldn't have a doubt in my mind. If you treat it like your job, you're probably gonna [expletive] win. Now, speaking of which, Nate, I think you had a competition recently. Oh, no, not till uh a couple three more weeks, I think, at the end of the year. Oh, it's way out there. Oh yeah, yeah. But I did give up on cutting weight because I got down to about 211, 210, and I was just floating there. There was nothing more I could have done. And then one day What do you mean floating? I'm sorry, I don't I don't call it. So like uh my weight was just staying right there at 210, 211, no matter what I did. I would eat and it would stay at 210. I wouldn't eat, I'd stay at 210.

26:54And so just floating, like even if I chug a bunch of water and then I'm still back at 210. So I was just stuck, hard stuck at 210. Interesting. So I emailed the people and I was like, look, I'm not fighting at 210. You need to change my name back up to 220. And then right then I dropped back down to 208, and I was like, son of a [expletive], right after I emailed him. But now I'm eating again, and uh my protein intake's been way up. So I'm still staying about 213 right now. Last time I checked this portal. So are you kind of at a disadvantage though? If you're fighting be about 220 now and you're 213. Oh, yeah.

27:59So that's that's do you think you can get that number closer?

28:02I can three weeks? Yes, I can. But at the the strength thing, so I need to hit the gym harder. Like I've been going every morning. I wake up at 3 to 3.30 every morning and go work out because that's the only time. That's a testament day. That's crazy. That's so impressive. Right. And then uh the my driving factor, I guess you could say, is like I lay in bed. Today was awful. I didn't make it because uh the trip and everything, I'm dying. But usually, like if it's a rough morning, like 3:30 in the morning, I'm like, you do not want second place again. And then so I'm out of bed and then I'm at the [expletive] gym. Good for you.

28:38Now, like going back to the tournament we talked about kind of mid-end of season two, like it was it really a strength that like that guy was clearly at the max weight, right? For that category. Yeah, and it wasn't really just like the weight you can handle the weight. Like you could it was it that you needed to be closer to the max weight, or was it like that if you were stronger, it would have been fine.

28:59If I was stronger, I would have been fine. And you were rusty for that tournament. That was like your debut coming back for after a while, right? And then on top of that, it was uh body type actually plays a huge factor into it. So you saw on the podium, I was standing on second, he was standing on first, and I was still a foot taller than this dude. And so him being short and stocky, so all of his weight is just combined, yes, and a little ball. So I definitely needed to be stronger to move a little bit better. And then, of course, the refs stopping the match halfway through a heel hook and asking if that's legal, that kind of [expletive] me up.

29:32Well, and and then, you know, Nate, I I I'm gonna just kind of guess here or just I I don't I don't know. This might not be true, and feel free to call me out. But like I feel like the mental game is real with you. I feel like if you get pissed off or you've convinced yourself you lose, like I feel like I've seen that when we've like interacted even sometimes. Like if you convinced yourself of something, that's it. You're you're checked out. So I think like some of that the like series of unfortunate events that went on last tournament, I'm sure that was like you can't talk yourself back up from.

From 30:00

30:01So I that was 100% accurate. Yep. As soon as they stopped the match, mid-match, to go check the [expletive] rules. I was like, well, this is it, you know, like what am I [expletive] gonna do now?

30:12Nate, what exercise do you are you doing to get stronger for jujitsu? I'm just I'm curious, I don't actually know like what what would you do like uh like weightlifting wise?

30:22Really, uh I've not to get stronger, but just to get my cardio up. I've been running. Usually I do anywhere from a mile and a half to three miles every morning, and then on top of that, I actually have my workout routine that Mikey sends me. So most of them I'm really not familiar with, so I have to look them up, and then that burns up some of my time. But then uh Is it like upper body? Is it like chest or back? Like what do you do can you know? It's everything he's uh yeah, he has Is he a trainer? Like, or is that just like a hobby for him? Yes, he also loves bodybuilding. So if you have any questions about anything, you should feel free to message him.

30:22He loves it, and he wouldn't give up the gym for [expletive] anything. And you could tell because he weighs more than me right now, even though I'm a foot taller than him. Oh wow. Oh yeah. How tall's how tall's Mikey? Probably a foot shorter than me. Oh, damn. Okay. Oh yeah.

31:12Yeah, I've seen his pictures. I'm like, this guy's huge. Like like he looks jacked. I've never like back to I've never just stopped to like think about height or anything.

31:19No, he's definitely on the average for height scale. So he's he's probably about your height and everything. But yeah, he follows all the workout routine and regimen and stuff like that, and then he knows what he's doing. Cool. Yeah, no, that that's

31:32awesome.

31:32Well, with that, Nate, I'm really excited to announce that you had asked me a few weeks ago about transition music. And I was originally going with like a jazz thing, and it just wasn't coming out the way I wanted. But I hired somebody to create some transition music. So, you want to talk like how do you think we should do this? Do you want to talk about it first? Do you want me to play it for the listeners and then we talk?

31:51Yeah, let's play it for the listeners and then we'll talk about it.

31:54All right, here we go.

31:56Um, let me get it off. We plugged in like we had to mucks.

32:42If I hear Daft Muggs one more time, I'm gonna blow my [expletive] brains out.

32:46Okay, so fun fact that I mean I I love the clip. Oh, yeah, it's awesome. First of all, honestly, it is awesome. Why Nate and I are joking a little bit. So that is obviously a cut down. We're not gonna play it. I have we have a full minute, three three minute, three-minute song with like a hook and everything. This like I paid a guy who ghost wrote the lyrics, he produced it, like it came out really phenomenal. His name's North Side Nate, you should check him out. No, I love the full-length song. I really do. But why we're kind of giggling a little bit isn't a three-minute song, and this is my fault. I gave him feedback, right?

32:46I'm a marketing person, so I'm like, make sure you say Daft Monks in the three-minute song. He says it maybe 37 times. Like he definitely took my feedback. So I we were originally like, we should play the full song. I'm like, no way. Like it's just a little bit too much self-promotion, unfortunately. It's like, yeah, yeah, Daft Monks. Daft Monks.

33:34Well, you're already listening to well, I don't blame him one bit.

33:37If you're telling me, like, no, you need to say Daft Monks, I'll be like, all right, [expletive], I'll say Daffunks.

33:42He hit the breathe. That's what they say. It's it's one of those men, nay, I'm definitely when I like hire people to do things like cover art, I'm always of the mind that if I give you as few limitations as possible, you'll create better work. If I really confine you, then I see really [expletive] work. However, this is an instance where I never want to be the guy that's like, say it four times, but not more than 12. You know, like it's that that's kind of hard. I just want to trust them. But there's times we're like, uh, okay, you know, you don't specify it. And you can always ask for edits, but like this guy produced like the entire song by time.

33:42So I'm not gonna be like, take 17 of the Dap Monks out. But I'm super happy with it. That will be the music we will transition with. I'm not gonna play it again this episode uh for you guys, but I I added it as a trailer to the season. But yeah, really excited to have instead of just Nate narrating a piece that he just waked one episode. We actually have I I think some some quality music now, something kind of catchy.

34:33I like it. It's very anime, but it's also still very cyberpunk. Like uh, I have a friend at work who is big into cyberpunk as well, and uh, he says that we nailed it. Like it sounds like something that would play in the cyberpunk video game on the radio. So I think that's a good one. Just say Donnie.

34:48His name's Donnie. No, it was actually Kevin. Oh [expletive].

34:51Hello, like there is another. Oh, there's another nerd.

34:53There are nerds amongst us, Nate. Oh wow, okay. No, very cool. Uh yeah, Nate. The inspiration was actually, I don't know if you've seen Samurai Shampoo. I think you said you haven't, but they have like uh it that's actually it's a it's in like a samurai era, I forgot whatever feudal Japan era it is, but it it has like it's very like urban kind of like rap vibes. They do like like the transitions in that anime is actually like a disc scratching, and then like the the beginning intro is like a rap. And so that was actually, I was like, hey, like this is kind of what we're going for. Obviously, the speed of the tempo of the song is different, it's a different vibe.

34:53But yeah, I was really happy with how it came out. Sometimes you order stuff on Fiverr with a freelancer and it's just total crap. You've seen some of the stuff I've shown you native. Oh, yeah. It's awesome, and you're like, oh, is it? But this came out amazing. So yeah, I'll I'll I'll probably like name the guy who made the guy this season who made our cover art and the guy North Side Nate who did our art theme music were so phenomenal. I'll probably credit them in in the actual uh episode descriptions. So if you guys ever want to check them out, like actual talents, and you should hit them up. Very happy with our end result. Nate, are you ready for some Daft Monks? I am so ready for Daft Monks.

34:53Right, cue the fake music since we already played the real music. Last time on Daft Monks. No, not that voice. Not that one. So last time, Ash and Roy they meet in the lower level of Beacon, the server room, as it were, and they discover a giant test tube child who they accidentally break free and then kidnap or escape with. Up to you how you want to uh describe that. And then they proceed to make their escape to somewhere off the grid, somewhere completely unsearchable, unfindable, which happened to just be ashes at Arnold in the in the impoverished section of Deacon City. Like middle class, like it's not that bad, you know? Like absolute slum.

34:53No, so and and in my mind, I don't I think we talked about it, but the factory workers, the reason why they like, aside from the vehicle that was being tracked, which they disposed of at the end of their trip, the factory workers aren't tracked as heavily as corporate workers because they're not believed to have like you know, for except if they have like special clearances or whatnot, but they're not believed to have like proprietary secret undisclosed information. They don't know anything. Yeah, they're they tend to not be tracked, and I think I think that's like a cool vibe of like they actually don't even know how many factory workers there are, you know, or whatever, like how many like actual like blue-collar people.

34:53That's kind of like a like an unit's like an underground population that just happens to actually live on the surface. Right. I like it. So we go into Ash's apartment, it is on the top floor of the building, and the elevator is not working. That has no impact on Ash and his impressive thighs, but it does uh on Roy, who has never walked very far in his life, let alone elevated his body more than a couple levels uh at once, basically. We meet Ash's roommate, Jair, so to speak, or we hear him, and it is revealed that Ash is pretty much stealing everything from Jair at all times. You gotta find a way to survive in the city.

34:53And uh Ash unfortunately is not happy about the fact that Roy has come to the conclusion that he needs to stay and lay low with Ash for a while. However, after Roy threatens to reveal to Jair everything Ash is stealing from him, they come to the agreement that maybe at least for now they can lay low at Ash's place. Yep. I like it. And we did not talk much about the boy that episode, ironically, but he was basically unconscious most of the time while they were arguing. This is all pretty fresh. And I will hand over Nate to you to pick up tonight's episode.

From 35:00

38:43Okay, we are still standing in the apartment. I look over to Roy, who I am obviously Ash. Look over to Roy. Okay. We're staying here, I get it. But first things first, we need to figure out what the [expletive] that thing is and what do we do with it. And he's pointing over to the child sleeping on the couch.

39:06Well, first off, Ash, it's uh 2078. That thing has pronouns and they are either he, him, it, her, Fuchs, or them. And we will wake it up and I think ask what it would like to be called, if that's okay with you.

39:24Okay, so I guess the first step is we sit and wait for the person to wake up and ask them what their pronouns are, and then from there we figure out who they are and what we do with them. That sounds terrible, Roy.

39:43Honestly, that sounds just as that you start complaining, the door knocks, and it's like, hey, uh Ash, yeah, Jar. Yeah, hey man. Uh I uh I was doing my laundry in the laundromat the other night, and I went back and none of my laundry's in the dryer. Um, have you seen anybody wearing a Hawaiian shirt or five-inch shorts? Which by the way, that is the outfit you're like currently wearing at the very moment in your apartment.

From 40:00

40:13I look down like, nah, Jarr, I haven't seen your clothes anywhere, man. I I would tell you if I did. You you know what? I think it's apartment 52. Like, I've seen them steal clothes before. I wouldn't put it past them, Jared. Oh, that's real unfortunate.

40:30I don't know them in an apartment 52, but I'm starting to smell real bad, man. I've been wearing the same underwear three days, and this shirt hasn't fit me in a long time, Mash.

40:39Well, Jared, just get out of the house, man. Like, go buy something, you know. You make good money doing whatever it is that you do, so hop on out, you know. I'll uh I'll cover the place, you know, I'll listen for sounds or anything like that. You don't have to worry.

40:52All right, uh, okay, I guess that sounds good then. Um, I'll go purchase more clothes. All right, thanks, Jared. Good talking to you, bud. And Royce, like, does that guy really never figure out that you How do you even get his apartment?

41:08Oh, I made a key the second day I was here. It's no big deal.

41:13How do you how do you make a key? Don't you have to like get like corporate approval to like uh have access to another person's dormitory?

41:20Oh no, we just have regular metal keys here, and I actually, you know, have the tools to make that. So I asked him to I asked I told him, you know, that it looked really interesting and I should borrow it for approximately five to ten minutes while I file down a copy. And he was none the wiser. But I think he might be catching on to me because he's been bantering me a lot more lately. But uh, you know. What's he gonna do? Oh wow, look, he's waking up. Or it it fuchsia's waking up. Listen, boy, make eye contact with me. Okay, good. Are you a boy shakes his head up and down? Yes, okay.

42:02Good. There's no pressure either way. We just want to know how to address you and what you would prefer to be identified at. Come on, Roy. Get it get it together.

42:10Alright. Alright, alright, sorry. Now, do you have a name? He shrugs. Okay, great. That's fantastic. Can you talk? No. Okay. Paper. What have we given paper and a pen? Paper and a pen. Perfect, perfect. Um, paper is hard to come by nowadays. Oh Jesus. Okay, charades.

42:28Uh, okay. Uh how many were how many words? I like hold up my hands like two, three, one. He's he's like smiling at you. Okay. Clearly you haven't been to the corporate fun day at your place of employment.

42:43Are you employed? How old are you? He looks down at like his fingers and toes and then just shrugs. Okay. Wow. Uh Ash. Yes. I don't know what to do with this thing. Neither do I. I am not good with the children's. And this one seems to be broken. That's possibly why he was in the tube. Should we try to feed it? Push over uh what we call it?

43:11Bagel bites? No, the the the Red Bull equivalent. Uh oh, the butt it's just bowl or something. Yeah. Big bowl. Balls or bowl or whatever the [expletive] it was. Bowl balls, I don't know.

43:22And I I push it over to him and he kind of like looks at it and he's like, nah.

43:29Damn it.

43:29Well, he'll get hungry eventually, I'm sure. Right. He's gotta eat at some point, right? Like uh do yeah. What about the pooping situation? Like, do you know how to use the bathroom? And he just shrugs again, like, oh, this is [expletive] great, dude.

43:43Yeah, this is gonna be problematic. I you know, I have a great deal of supervisory training, but we are usually trained not fully competent adults who can do each other's job and not poop their pants, and I don't know where we stand.

43:55Yeah, that's obviously not what this is, Roy, but thank you for that. I'm sorry this isn't synergy, but we've got to figure something out. And I might know somebody who could potentially help, but it's probably gonna cost us.

44:11Oh, that's fine. Um, I have like uh a little bit of credits left in my bank account. Which has probably been drained at this point, actually.

44:18So yeah, costs might be a problem. Well, yeah, uh it's usually not a money thing, it's more of a favor for a favor kind of thing, is how she works, yeah.

44:27Roy like straightens his tie and like rolls up his sleeves a little bit, like, yes, yes, I've exchanged a favor or two at the office before. What kind of favor have you exchanged at the office? Roy. Well, you see, uh Pam, you know, well, you don't know Pam because you've never worked at speaking group, of course. But Pam would occasionally ask me to come over and plug something in to the power strip under her desk. Now I knew what that really meant. And she was getting a good look at Ash my Gaduncad. And I wore the tightest pants I could, and I knew what it was about. And she asked me all the time, I don't even know how that thing kept getting unplugged me. That's how into character we are.

44:27We we yeah, I know. We use the same office equipment every day, Ash. Why would things be unplugged? Why would you ever unplug your computer? And yet every day I had to go and and I don't know, she thought, I don't know, she just kept staring, and then Greg would laugh because he knew she was into me.

From 45:00

45:32Greg sounds like a real piece of [expletive]. Well, alright, besides all that, Roy, I guess that's really the only thing I can think of right now since you won't let me go on the conspiracy theory forums. That is literally will lead them right to it. That is the first place they check at. Well, tomato tomato, you know. We're like six blocks down, we can hoof it. You get used to walking down here on the lower level, so it's it's not that big of a deal. She won't be expecting us, but she's probably doing her second job right now. Do you have a garbage chute that does not incinerate its contents? It's actually broken. Okay, great. So I'm gonna have to take the stairs again.

45:32Okay, yeah, because the garbage chute is set up right now that when Jair throws his trash out, it actually loops back into my apartment. So that's why that's currently not working right now. So you would just be on the show. Why would you want his trash, Ash? Well, sometimes one man's trash is another man's treasure, man. Like, I don't know why you're judging me about it. Like, what these are tough times, you know. I mean, it's Jair. I haven't even met the guy, but I've heard him. What does he have that you could possibly want? Well, one time he threw out a royal roll of toilet paper, still had three squares left on it. Can you believe the madness? We're just wasting away at this time, you know?

46:47Yes, you'd be an excellent operations manager. All right, why don't you meet me down in 10 minutes? I'll probably need that head start to get down the stairs. All right, what are we doing with the boy? Are we bringing him along? Do I take a picture of him? It's too risky, Ash. I don't. We don't know how to communicate with this kid. We don't even know if he fully understands us. He might not be all there, if you know what I mean.

47:08We look over at him and he's just smiling at us, giving us like two thumbs up. Like, yeah. You know what, really? That's the only thing you've said that made sense this entire [expletive] day.

47:22Alright, that sounds good. I'll see you down there in a little bit. Maybe bring a bottle of water and some something for me to change into when I get down to the bottom.

47:31Alright, fine, fair enough. While you're heading down, I am like setting up a blanket and a pillow on the couch, and I'm laying out some bagel bites and some whatever Red Bull future equivalent that I have left. Stay here. TV works on channel two, and that's it. So just turn it on, turn it up loud. Jair loves it loud. Turn max volume, turn it up. Jar talks, just do what you do and just sit there. Good. Okay, two thumbs up. Yep. Great.

48:01And I just imagine he's not like making eye contact with you and he's just staring at your toaster the entire time.

48:07Okay, yes. He's probably gonna try to [expletive] the toaster. That's great. I will go to the toaster and I just unplug it and then look at him and then just start walking out to meet you downstairs.

48:18Okay, so fast forward, we get downstairs. Uh Roy is profusely sweating. He takes off his tie. He's like, that's probably a dead giveaway. And he like tosses it. And just in the lobby, he assumes that this whole place is a trash can anyway.

48:32Especially since Jared's trash loops into your bar.

48:37I imagine it doesn't go into like a container either. It just like dumps like it onto the floor.

48:44I rigged it up, so it's just like a little hatch opens up and it just slides down right there into my kitchen.

48:51It's gonna be like whenever, uh whenever Roy goes on like a rant in your apartment, just gonna blow in and I hit him.

48:59Like this piece of [expletive] JR thinks he's better than me throwing out trash.

49:05Alright, so uh where are we going, Ash? I don't want to be on the sun very long. I have very I don't have a snuff uh melanin as as you blue collar workers do. Yeah. Nor do I have your lens glasses to protect my eyes.

49:19I can tell that, and your throat looks very open and airy now. It's nice to see you uh let up a little bit.

49:26Yeah, well, you know, I like I'm gonna need this, you know, for things. The favors, you know, maybe she needs me to deep throat a banana. I was trying to think of like an everyday task, like that wasn't sexual.

49:46But I don't think that's appropriate for anything.

49:48She said it was too cold and she wanted me to warm it up for her.

49:53Well, we're gonna go to somewhere similar to that, I guess. We're gonna go meet Proxy. Uh she's a ex-girlfriend of mine. She's Oh, we're meeting a proxy to somebody else. That's just her name is Proxy. I don't well, that's just confusing, Ash. I know. I I tried bringing it up to her before, but she didn't want to tell me what her god-given name was or her birth name or whatever we're calling it. But she's her name's Proxy. She's currently at this time of day. I look down at your holo watch. Yeah, we smashed it, remember? We accelerated that. Oh, so I uh pop on my lens real fast, and I'm like, oh yeah, at this time of day, she's working at her second job.

49:53So uh just I don't know if you've ever been to a place like this. Just try to keep it together, okay? It's a little seedy. You don't have to tell me to be cool, Ash. I am cool as a cucumber. That's when we flash forward to a strip club, and it's just like have you uh been to a place like this before, Roy?

From 50:00

50:54I you look over and he his eyes are just wide, and then this is actually a true story, Nate, that is inspired by me. His nipples are rock hard and very visible through his shirt. Like that you've never noticed before, but something about the air conditioning in this place or the sexy women is just he is just smuggling raisins.

51:15And you got like a white-colored shirt on, there's like a black light on, I can see right through, and I'm like, oh yeah.

51:21Did I tell you though that that story in real life? Like I did a test, we did a testimonial for like our boss's like anniversary, and it was like every they had like a professional camera crew, and it was really cold in that room, and so they took me from like everybody from like the rib cage up. And when we went back to watch the edit, my nipples were like so incredibly articulated through the shirt. So then what they were like is like, well, we'll just crop it. But to crop it, they had to come really close. So everybody who had like the regular like profile crop, and then it was really zoomed in on my face because they cropped out my nipples and filled the screen.

51:21And I'm like, just cut me, just just go ahead and cut me.

51:59I don't need to be in it that bad.

52:00Yeah, so that's uh I'm gonna say when Rome is uncomfortable with the situation, it doesn't have to just be like sexual or from attraction if he's just uncomfortable in general. Yeah, it looks like he's smuggling raisins.

52:12And also uh laughs very inappropriate.

52:17This is this is a cool place, as never been here before.

52:22It's not that great. Listen, uh proxy just cocktails here. You know, she's like a waitress. We just gotta go in, hit her up for some info. It's kind of her real job, and then we'll be out. All right, man. So don't make it weird. Like hold your hands over your chest or something.

52:42Okay. Alright, nothing weird here. Hello, ma'am. Hello, daughter of uh father, hello.

52:51Don't don't, yeah, don't talk to them. It's it just just stay close, it'll be fine. And then so the clothes.

52:58I like take my hands off my nipples and point to you. Your nipples also pointing to me.

53:05Uh, we start working our way up to the bar. Um trying to walk fast almost as if to ditch you, but it seems like you have found a piece of my clothing and are just holding on to it, and I'm plowing through the large crowd of people that are currently at the strip club. There's not a lot to do in the under city, I guess, the underbelly of the city. So this is uh actually a pretty hip happenant place. We walk up to the bartender, and then I look over at him and I'm like, uh [expletive]. It's [expletive] borg, man. I I don't want I don't want to deal with it. Can you just ask it if proxy's working?

53:05And then you look over my shoulder and see the bartender, and it is a cyborg, like android ducex machina [expletive] thing. Just [expletive] cool.

53:56He has like a short, it shows she's feminine in nature and has like a short like butch haircut, but also uh very robotic.

54:04She has a robot arm, just spinning a complete 360 cleaning out a glass. Yeah. I'm like, this is a thing, Roy. Like, I'm sorry, I was hoping the thing wasn't gonna be working today. Just ask it where Proxy is and if we can talk to her. That's all you gotta do. I don't talk to those things.

54:21Uh beepop, Miss Borg. Uh, I would like to have uh an interaction with you, if I may. Sure, go ahead. Well, you sounded off a lot like my friend Sheila, who is not an intro, but also robot style. Cool, right? Uh yes, you seem like a fine Galborg. Um Galbot. Galbot, yes, Galbot, Galga Dotbot. Anyway, my friend here. My friend here who did not want to participate in the conversation. He was intimidated by your magnanimance or something like that. We are looking for a proxy.

From 55:00

55:06Uh yeah, she's working around the corner, and your friend couldn't handle these robot [expletive].

55:14They start like um, like uh, what's that called? Like, I don't know, like a jackhammer. Like a direating.

55:24Like hydraulic jackhammers, like wow, that is a cool party trick you have there.

55:36Thank you very much. You have been very helpful. And I flip like a USB at her, thinking like that's I've not had a lot of interactions with actual androids, more cyborgs. Nate, is is there a distinction between cyborg versus android?

55:51Should we talk about that? Yes, so a cyborg in our terms is somebody that was once human or is still partially human, but has fitted their body out with a lot of robotic pieces. So you can tell that they were once human, kind of. And then a full-on android. Android, yes, thank you. I brain fart. Uh full on android was something that was always just a robot.

56:19Got it. And then people modify themselves pretty often. So what you're saying, where with a cyborg, they're like kind of less human than they are modification. Yeah. If somebody just like replaces a hand with a robotic hand, they're still viewed as mostly human and thus not a cyborg. Is that like a good understanding?

56:34Yes, that is correct. So a cyborg is somebody who probably was willing in adding all of these extra like implants and things like that added to their body, like chopped off their real arm so that they could get a robot arm kind of thing.

56:49Got it, got it.

56:51Alright, well, thank you, Borg. You have been very helpful. We are going to find proxy. Do we need uh an appointment or to introduce ourselves? No, she's literally right there around the corner. Oh, oh, perfect. Thank you. Uh appreciate it. And I flipped uh, as I said before, I flipped that uh USB together. It hits her in the forehead and just falls to the floor.

57:13I was like, what do you think about these robot [expletive]? Interested.

57:20Uh his nipples just get like more articulated through his shirt. Yeah, you are. I get off it too.

57:29Right, walk quicker. Or Ash, please walk faster. You don't have to tell me, man. Like Ash is already gone. He's starting to walk over to where Proxy's at. We go up to her, and then I look back at Roy one more time. Uh yeah, Roy one more time, and I'm like, hey man, just if things get a little weird, it's just what happens between us. So, like, just play it cool. Don't try to jump in. This is just the kind of like thing that we do.

57:55No problem. Whatever is in your past is your between you and then he looks over and can you describe what she looks like?

58:03Roxy is actually a very, very attractive woman for being down in the lower middle class uh area. She has a very corporate air about her, which kind of gives way to what her real job could be. She's currently in like a cocktail waitress outfit for the club, but you can tell that like she has certain implants that like a normal corporate exec would have, like these kind of things. Like her skin is flawless, the way she cuts her hair and everything is very corporate. So it's almost off-putting that she's down here amongst the common folk, but here she is nonetheless.

58:46And Roy uh finishes a sentence. Oh my god, that's she's beautiful. And his nipples like immediately stop being like super weird looking and it just goes back to normal, like indicating that he's very comfortable around her. Calm down, Roy. She's alright. Proxy, hey, I hey. And she starts uh sacheting over, sauntering over, as it were. Very kind of coy in nature, looking you up and down, then looking over at Roy, up and down, fixating on his nipples for maybe a little bit briefer moment, then longer. They get hard again. Yeah, they get hard in. And she's like, Well, look what the cat dragged in.

59:26Good to see you, Ash. Hey, proxy, you know I wouldn't come here unless it was kind of important, but this is my new friend, Roy. He's kind of a corporate guy. It's nothing to really worry about. But we're in a bit of a pickle, so we kind of need to be fast. Is there Roy here?

59:47I'm here to say that I am a great friend of Ash's, and I think you are absolutely beautiful, and you take as long as you want. I think like both of you just like stare at Roy for a moment. And then she's like, Friends, huh?

From 60:00

60:00Since when did you start doing friends, Ash? Actually, it's a it's a new thing that I'm doing now. It's um part of the Daft Monks email that I received. It says I need to put myself out there and make myself a better person. And friends was probably number seven on that to-do list, so I figure why not start with number seven? Oh wow, number seven.

60:19Just skip one through six, huh? Hey, here's a tip for your kid, Roy. Roy was it? Yeah. Uh Ash doesn't commit to things very long. Uh this is all not gonna last very long, so don't get too attached.

60:34Listen, I don't think you need to air that to Roy. Like, he's my friend, and he just doesn't need to know that. Okay, so I look, I have a job for you. Would you like to?

60:46She like stops you for a sec. You know we don't talk about this stuff in here. Come to the back. And she like pulls you into like the kind of more private area of the club. She's like, I'm gonna I'm gonna have to make this look legitimate. So she starts giving like royal lapteps, like while sorry, she's a cacto waitress, right? Yeah, actually server. Sorry, that's not a thing. So she just starts serving us and she pretends to be taking an order, but she kind of like leads in.

61:07Alright, this this is the the gist proxy, alright? We may have or may not have stolen a small child from the beach. Jesus Ash, that was you? Yes. We just need to know what this thing is. It it's not like a normal kid proxy, like he just stares at me blankly and he gives me two thumbs ups, and he didn't even want to drink my Red Bull equivalent future drink.

61:31Children don't drink Red Bull, you idiot. Have you guys even turned on the news? Half your questions should probably be answered if you just looked. He's all over the news, Ash. Everyone's looking for you. You know my TV doesn't work. I know, but but you do steal it from Jair.

61:45I can't use it when Jair's there.

61:46You know this proxy. Oh, and he's always there. That's true. Piece of [expletive]. Alright, listen, well, big shocker, you need something. Not surprised, but yeah, I can help you. But you know how it goes. You're gonna have to do me a favor.

61:57Yeah, let's so let's cut to the chase.

61:59What do you need from me? Alright, listen, then she like leans in a little bit. So we've been sniffing around in the nail salon next door. Something's going on. I have a very important benefactor who is interested in whatever operation they're running. In the front for sure. They're definitely not doing nails, but we're not able to get in. We need something a little bit more unexpected. And quite frankly, Ash and Roy, I think you're as bizarre as it comes. They're the last. You you two are all over the news, but you're the last people that they would expect to come into this type of place. Alright. Go in, find out what's going on and let me know so I can let my people know. That's it. It's a simple information gathering.

61:59You can handle that, Ash, right? Not gonna quit or back out last minute.

62:44No. I won't. And I will follow this through to the end because that's what I do now. I've changed proxy, and I just need to know one piece of information. How like dangerous is this?

62:59I mean, hard to tell, to be totally honest. We haven't been able to get close. Surprisingly, Enhale Salon is incredibly locked down and tightly over there. So I don't know what's going on in that back room if we're being totally honest. I would be careful if I were you. Discreet's the name of the game, which is something you're pretty good at. Him, maybe not so much.

63:19He's getting a laugh dance from somebody while you're pretending to take a drink order. Like, damn it, Roy. Okay. Yeah, you got it. I will get this information for you, and then you help us find out who this [expletive] boy thing is.

63:32Yeah, I think I already have an idea, but let me do some digging. Alright, you got it. And Ash. Yes. Take care of yourself. I always try to. You know that. I know. Also, is number eight on the Daphmunks list giving me back my jacket? Because I left that earlier.

63:48Actually, that's number six, and I didn't do that. So you're welcome.

63:52At least you're consistent in being inconsistent. Well, okay. Good talk. Thanks, Proxy. You have 24 hours. She shouts as you're like walking away.

64:01Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm dragging Roy away. He's still getting a lap dance. Like the stripper is on top of Roy's lap as I'm dragging him away on the left. She really likes me, Ash. She wants your money that you don't have, Roy. I don't know about that. He doesn't have money, and she like crawls away.

64:22She's also half cyborg and like her top half like rotates backwards and then like the legs walk backwards.

64:27Like a crab walk over. It's like, oh wow. That's really disheartening. Yeah, it's a [expletive] disgusting place, Roy. No. The nail salon's right around the corner, so let's [expletive] hoof it. Oh, I haven't had a mini petty in a while. That would be great. Are you paying? Sure. Let's scope it out first. Investigate and see what we're doing.

64:49Okay. So we go outside, we walk around the block, and yeah, from the outside, Nate, I mean you want to describe what it looks like. To to Roy, it looks like every uh an everyday nail salon.

From 65:00

65:00Yes, it is a very basically more middle class version of what Roy is used to. It's very exaggerated due to how our city is built. So it's very uh Blade Runner where like the Japanese culture and Asian culture, it pops out more than the rest of the cultures that are within the city. So it is very typical cliche, like Cantonese [expletive] nail salon. Like you see the girls wearing masks, doing uh nails and toes and manny's petties, whatever. And that's all we can see from the front. I gotta tell you something, Ash. Yeah, you are gonna stick out like a sore thumb.

65:42I could get a Manny Petty.

65:44What are you talking about?

65:45I've seen your feet, and that's all I'm gonna say. Listen, us corporate type are a little bit more custom. I think it will be believable if I go in, but they're not gonna believe you are gonna just be here to get a uh for a spa day, as it were. So I we need an excuse for why you're with me. Probably you're an employee.

66:07Oh, okay, yes, you could be a corporate man and I could be your assistant worker or something. Something?

66:16Yes. Okay, so I'll go in and I will treat myself to a many petty. They won't charge me until the end, thankfully. And then I'll have to make a run for it, but my feet will be in good shape to do so. You're gonna have to be the one, if I distract them, you're gonna have to be the one to slip back in the back.

66:33Stealth is uh the name of my game. I'm sure. One time like yeah, one time I was in an elevator and people didn't even know I was in there. He's just laughs. That was a good one, Ash. As you're walking towards the front, like, yeah, it really just happened like earlier today.

66:53So he goes in and we're gonna say special skill. We're gonna say that Roy can speak Cantonese. And and he immediately like starts talking, and they're like very engaged, and then he's like pointing to like his nails, and then like kind of just like waving, and then he like looks at you and like starts describing you in another language, and then just like kind of rolls his eyes and shrugs, and they just start like laughing, and I like turn to you, I'm like, go hang up your jacket in the back, and then sit down and wait for me, Alfonso. And I like do a really obnoxious wink.

67:29Awesome. I can tell that you get a lot of manny petties, Roy. This is gonna work out great.

67:35I like reach into my wallet and take out I actually have like a membership card for this chain. Like it's like a punch hole card. They're like all punched except for one. Like, actually, this is my free one. I mean, but this is serious business, you know what I mean? So I want to imagine too when we go in immediately, like all these I imagine it's all w it's women, like you said, right? Yeah, that they all just kind of like immediately snap their head like simultaneously to look at us. And then they continue to like file their nails, but these are like cyberpunk nails. So women have these like metal sharp, almost like kind of like the wolverine kid.

67:35Yeah, like they're just long, sharp, like aluminum nails, and so and they're firing it with like actual like the thing you would like sharpen your knife with, yeah. They're like using on their nails, and then they have like neon designs and they like have like circuitry that they can like add to it and stuff. So they do some like cool [expletive], but like also you can kind of infer like these women know how to handle uh unruly customers as it works.

68:37Like they're also prepped for battle, possibly.

68:39Yes.

68:40Uh I notice this and immediately take a deep breath, take off my coat, and start walking to the coat rack in the back. Like this is it, this is the day I [expletive] die.

68:51I immediately like slap the back of your head as you walk by and start yelling at you in Cantonese and then take off my like jacket and my vest that I was wearing and like give it to you, and I'm like, I'm not gonna try to do it because that would come off really messed up. I just like yell at you and like point, and then I look at them and I just start like talking and they start laughing. And then I like honestly start to like sprawl it out. Like I put like my feet down and my legs and the things, and I like look over you and I give you a wink, and then I'm just chatting it up with these women.

69:18Awesome. I uh take your vest and coat and my coat and I back away kind of like a cowering dog, and then uh go hang them up on the rack, and then sit on the little stool next to the the coat rack, and then kind of just wait, and then I'm gonna get an eyeball of the room and look in the back door. I see that it's slightly ajar, and then I'm gonna wait for my opportunity when I know that none of these ladies are looking at me to try to sneak back there.

69:46So as they're like filling up the tanks of water, I like take something out of my pocket, like a little, I don't know, some kind of like little container. It's like a little keychain flask thing. I usually maybe keep like like mouthwash in it or something to keep my breath fresh or something, and I like fill it, and then I just like kind of stick in my pocket for a little bit. And after some time goes by, when I feel like the attendees are I don't know what you want to call them, the the nail tech stylists. Yeah, the nail techs.

69:46When the nail techs seem slightly distracted, I look at the chair behind me and find like an outlet that it's plugged into, and I just kind of like pour the water in, and you hear like a little bit of like a short, and you like smell like the lights don't power it doesn't go out or anything, but like smells like something's like kind of fried or burning. Yeah, electrical fire. Yeah, a little bit. And I start like making a big deal, and I'm like like kind of yelling at them in Cantonese, like something doesn't like smell right, what's going on? I don't want to sit here. I don't want to like this is this is very uncomfortable.

69:46I'm like standing up now with my like pants rolled up and my feet are wet and like they've already started on my nails, and I'm just like making a big scene, and they're like starting to like gather around me.

From 70:00

70:51Perfect. I'm gonna take this opportunity to just slowly stand up and then start walking into that back room. Got it. What do you see when you enter the back room? So I enter in the back room, and then actually this building is a lot bigger than what it seems like from the front. The storefront probably takes up only a quarter of it, so there's three quarters left of this building here that I can traverse through. There is a hallway, and I just follow that down. It's kind of dingy. There's dripping water, the lights are fluorescent, because in the future there's fluorescent lighting. And then I just stealthily kind of make my way back, and then now I am upon a large silver door, which I've seen before. It's like a refrigerator door.

70:51Find a like for a big walk-in freezer. And I'm like, okay, this is kind of a weird thing to have in a nail salon. I creak open the door and just peek inside, and I'll let you choose, nay, is the coast clear or not?

71:58I'm not gonna decide that, Nate, but what I will tell you is going inside, they're starting to they've calmed me down, they've moved me into a new chair, someone's like fiddling, like fidgeting with like the the back of that other chair. The they're like giving me extra attention now because they feel like I'm very unhappy client and they don't wanna their like Lotus member level reward members to be upset. They know I'm part of the like secret shopper group that reviews them on whatever app of the future that they're doing. But things are going back to normal, and I want to say at least one of the nail techs is like looking around for you, but she's not yet in the back room.

72:33Okay. With that, I will creak open the door. I see that the coast is clear for now, and I walk inside the walk-in freezer. Inside the walk-in freezer are just racks and racks of hanging meat, which is kind of a surprise because there's not a lot of fresh meat here in the future of the year 2078 in Beacon City. Um, so I'm unless it's made by biotech. Right, correct. Which you can tell is meat, but not really meat. So looking at this, I'm like, man, this looks like real meat, you know? Like I walk up to it, I'm poking it, it looks [expletive] delicious. Oh man. And I keep walking, and eventually I find my way back to like a computer station.

72:33Uh a little desk happened, it's got some files and stuff on it, and I just basically hop onto it. To my left, there's actually a large bay door that looks like a truck pulls up kind of thing, like a cargo bay. I'm not worried too worried about that. It seems like the coast is clear right now, and then I just basically hop on the computer and try to see what I can find up.

73:42Okay, name. That sounds good. I wanna say that one of the technicians has now entered, like, through the back door, and they are looking around. Okay. And you hear a door close off in the distance.

73:56Alright, [expletive], I gotta be quick. Immediately open up whenever folders are just open on the home screen, because I figure whatever nefarious deeds they're doing, it's gonna be on a folder on the [expletive] home screen. All that really pops up is some pamphlets for the suicide booth that we ran into earlier, and basically a bunch of spreadsheet numbers. So I'm thinking this has gotta be it. So I just start clicking print. Super fast laser printer, like uses lasers and burns paper, and I have the files and documents with me right now, and then I shove them into my pants. Got it. I no longer have a jacket, they're just going in the pants.

74:45Just then you can hear basically she is walking very, she's maybe like five paces away from your door. The steps are getting faster.

74:54Okay. I am going to hide behind one of the racks of meat.

From 75:00

75:01So you do that. Are you completely hidden or are you trying to like keep an eye on the door?

75:06Yeah, I'm gonna try to look at the door, but basically my intent was that as soon as she walks in, I'm just gonna club her with this cold frozen meat and then make a run for it.

75:18So uh the door opens and kind of like a Velociraptor, you see just like aluminum nails like come around the edge. And then she slowly just kind of like comes around and is like kind of looking around. And one thing you notice is you didn't notice their eye color before, but it was like some kind of dark, maybe brown, whatever. It just was like normal. And she's looking around and she has these like red pupils now that she and she's just like you know, you get the vibe that she is, yes. Oh my god, my heart is [expletive] pounding right now.

75:18I'm gonna say she starts in this room, uh like on the left side, and you're more in the middle, so she's like going slowly, like looking at like each like punk of meat, and then are you gonna do anything or she's about to get it?

76:08So, like like a comedy style show. As she's moving, I'm trying to move with her, but stay behind the cold piece of meat, hoping that she doesn't look down to the floor level and see my blazing hot shins. But I yeah, I'm gonna try to hide my uh thermal.

76:26I'm gonna say it's like for some reason it's like uh foggy and like misty at the bottom because it's like a cooler kind of it's like uh like that kind of cooling uh fog or whatever, dry ice. And uh alright, she's looking. Alright, we are gonna start incorporating rolls. We're gonna start very so odd or even, make your choice. Odd.

76:45Okay.

76:45So yeah, he's got the dice. It was odd. This is the actual number. You can't see that, but yeah, you did roll correctly. So for this first check, you you passed, and somehow you're just like moving, and then suddenly she her distraction gets she like snaps back to turn around, and she can hear a lot of like cantonese like yelling, and she immediately like rushes and starts like you hear like fast pacing back to the front. And it sounds you hear this the women sound like angry and upset.

77:15Oh, [expletive], [expletive], [expletive], [expletive]. Okay, um [expletive]. I don't know if the documents I have are what I need, and I am not too completely computer savvy. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna run back to the computer and just take the [expletive] computer.

77:32They're smaller, you know, now like it's it's more like a laptop, maybe, but like a futuristic laptop. So it's almost like your flip phone, kind of like you can like close it and then like fold it again, and then like fold it again. It's like like an origami laptop. So you just like actually fold it down to something that fits like pretty nicely in your pocket, and you uh say you drop it in. Yep, perfect. And what do you do now?

77:53Now, oh [expletive]. Do I leave? Okay, I'm gonna open up the cargo bay door into the leads into the alley, and then I'm gonna try to make my exit that way.

78:04As you do that, you hear, let go of me, stop it. No, that's not what I asked for.

78:10Oh [expletive], okay. So I'm gonna close the cargo bay door and run. So I'm outside right now. I'm gonna close the cargo bay door and run around to the front, back to the front of the nail salon, and I'm gonna pull a cigarette out of my pocket and light it, and then just be like, What what's going on in here, Roy?

78:29I was just out having a smoke. As you go in and look in, they're all standing around my feet, and I'm like, You call that a cuticle cleaning, like in in English, and they're all like talking [expletive], clearly, in another language, and I'm like, this is the absolute worst service I've ever received. I am absolutely done. So I like step out, my feet are all wet, and I'm like, Afonso, bring me my shoes. And I like wave you over.

78:51I throw the cigarette into the street and immediately run inside. Grab your shoes and our coats and vest and say, uh, let's get out of here, Roy. You will be hearing from my manager.

79:02Every one of you.

79:03I point to, I'm like, yeah, you heard him.

79:06Let's let's go, Afonso. Okay. And uh I'm going to do a roll now. I'm gonna say even. And it was an odd. So uh we'll talk about it later, but uh we we hastily we do uh leave. I'm gonna say as we leave, one of them like kinda walks over to their like kind of communication station and they make a call on Kent Cities. That sounds very, very suspicious. Let's get out of here. Uh so we're outside and I'm like, did you get what you needed?

79:37I think so. You're gonna have to look at it because I don't know what I'm really looking for. I'm not computer savvy, so I'm sorry. So here. I just hand you the files and the [expletive] origami. I don't know what else to do, man. I didn't want to [expletive] this up. They're gonna track this. We can't bring this to Roxy.

79:55This is like a [expletive] like might as well GPS straight to our house.

79:59Alright, well, there's like a cafe around the corner, so just go over there, get what we need from it, download it to the [expletive] lens that I got, and then we'll email it or whatever the [expletive] we do. And then we'll just throw it in the trash and then be on our way.

From 80:00

80:12I mean, I didn't finish my petty many, but whatever, we'll we'll get the snackt out rolls. Did you get those colored? Yes, okay. Management has to be open to all um tones and shades so that everyone feels welcome. Well, you would know if you worked with people or were cooperative, which by the way, Roxy seems to think you are not very committal or cooperative.

80:34That's neither here nor there. And just so you know, before you got all sassy with me, I was gonna say that shade looks really good with your eyes, but whatever.

80:41You mean it?

80:42Let's go.

80:44All right, so we go into I won't call it an internet cafe, because that's not what it would be in the future. So it's more um, we're gonna call it like an avatar cafe. Oh, I like that. Um, so you go in and they give us literally like a private room to ourselves, and then we order something on like a hollow tablet, whatever, and then you're expected to put on a mask and interact with other people. And I'm like, have you ever been to one of these, Ash?

81:12Actually, I've never been. I'd have no idea what's going on in here.

81:16It's kind of a good time. It's gonna take me a minute to figure out how to, you know, get the actual files we need off of this computer. Because I'm guessing all you did is what, like grab something off of the desktop? Yes. Yeah, okay, yeah, exactly. Okay. Why don't you hop on and interact with some of the locals? You may learn a thing or two, Ash, and I'll see if I can get the files.

81:34I'll I'll give it a shot. So like I put on like these special like VR type gloves and then put on the mask, and I'm like, it kind of smells. Is that is that normal, Roy?

81:44Yes, that is very normal. Okay, that will not come off very easy.

81:48Fantastic. It's like uh I'm almost imagining like a like I got a size too small, so it's almost looking like a gimp mask on me. I'm like, is it supposed to be this tight, Roy? Like I said, I said a medium.

82:00Am I not a medium? Do you want me to find the files or not? Yeah, okay. Let's have fun. I tried to make this fun for both of us. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I got the many petty. You get to be the avatar.

82:08It's booting up right now. Wait, I'm I'm still in the cafe, Roy. It's like on it booted up, but it's just my avatar person in the same cafe. Like, what am I what what am I supposed to do? I can't hold your hand. I'm gonna need you to figure this out.

82:21Alright, I'll I'll I'll try.

82:23Oh, this is how you walk. All right, I got that. I got it. I'm up.

82:26You don't need to narrate. You don't need to narrate. I know I'm just I have some headphones, I'm gonna just put those in. And I stick those in and I am busy like opening up the computer and trying to navigate the files. Tell me just a little bit about what the avatar is. So you're you're getting in, let's say you find like the hub world and you find like some portals to like other rooms in the cafe. Describe like which one tickles your fancy or catches your attention, and tell me a little bit more about it.

82:49–84:04[Editorial omission.]

84:04And we'll leave you there. And then so what I'll say is Roy is on the computer, he is like trudging through files, and after a little while, he digs up something pretty interesting, and he starts to like nudge you to get your attention. Like, Ash, you hear like in the distance, like Ash, Ash, come back. Oh, uh yeah, Roy. What's up? Or do you take the helmet off or you're like talking to the room? No, I'm still I'm still on. I'm not gonna say it out loud, Ash.

84:34You're on the safe net. Alright, I don't know how to log out. Do I have to walk back to the cafe? Take the mask off, Ash. Oh, okay, yeah. Take it off. I'm like, oh. My hair is completely [expletive] up at this point. My face is all sweaty because the mask was too tight. He's like, alright, let me see it.

84:49And I like switch off the power and unplug it. And I'm like. So the nail salon is a front. That's very clear. If you look at the financial records, it has nothing to do with any of the services that I've ever received at any of these places. So that's clearly [expletive]. So I have all of those records, like their financials. You're gonna believe this, Ash. They receive heavy, heavy deposits for donations from Valhalla Corporation. The [expletive] that make the suicide booths. What would a nail salon want with, or well, they're not a nail salon. What would the Valhalla Corporation want with them?

From 85:00

85:24Oh, I didn't tell you, uh Roy. In the back there where I found this computer were actually big, big hunks of meat just hanging in a freezer. It was pretty crazy.

85:36They don't have meat anymore. No, it was real meat.

85:38I swear to you, I've I've seen real meat once or twice. I've never had real meat before.

85:42Biotech's meat is hardly what you would consider meat.

85:45I'm telling you, I've seen it before, and this Oh, like, alright, draw it.

85:50Okay.

85:50What shape was it? Because it was a huge hunks, right? Oh, yeah, perfectly. And then somehow I like I expertly draw the big racks of meat.

85:58Does it have like like a like a human shape? Is it kind of like hips and like shoulders? Yeah, it looks like something straight out of Predator.

86:08I'm like, there you go. It looked pretty much just like that, Roy.

86:10So you have it upside down and you don't see it at first, but I'm sitting across from you, I'm like, oh my [expletive] god. What is it? And I like slowly turn the paper that you just drew upside down, and it literally looks like like a person, like just standing really still. Like, huh.

86:26I just look at it, I'm like, huh. Huh. Roy, you think that's uh a person? Like, is that a is that uh is that a human?

86:36Well, we know there's not real meat, and the Valley Corporation are making huge deposits into that account.

86:46I do you think you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking that I'm going to stop eating at the taco shack around the corner because their [expletive]'s [expletive] delicious. And I'm trying to put two and two together here.

86:58Yeah. No, I I think we need to get this to a proxy stat here real quick. And I like try to like snap the like mass thing. And the like, I'm like, and I'm having like no luck. I'm like, can you can you can you do this for me? Oh, yeah, just break it. Yeah. Alright, bro. You just like snap it in half so easily. Yeah. With like one hand or something. And then I'm like, cool, and now the the the big computer thing. Oh, I need to break that. Yes. Like, literally, they're gonna track. I just throw it against the wall. Okay. And like in the background, we hear like cantonese. Oh my god.

87:31They're they're onto us, Roy. We need to get out of here. You should have saw her. She looked like a [expletive] Velociraptor. The way she was coming at me. I had to hide behind a piece of meat. I didn't tell you any of this because you dazzled me with this internet cafe, but it was terrifying. Why the [expletive] wouldn't you say that to me? I'm sorry. At one point there was a mirror next to her, and she just like pushed her face up against the mirror and started breathing on it. And I didn't know what to think about that.

87:55Oh Jesus. Okay, well, they'll never be able to find what room we're in. It's not like they got like any kind of like X-ray digit.

88:01They're [expletive] borgs, man. They they got I didn't I didn't know how else to break that. I'm like, you're reminding me of this stuff that happened only 10 minutes ago. But the How do you know they're borgs? [expletive] had infrared eyes. [expletive] had infrared eyes, infrared eyes. Guys, holy Jesus, we're [expletive]. Oh yeah, they were zooming and everything. Just then the door opens up and they're like, We have your chai latte ready. I immediately freak out and just stand up and hit the chai latte. And it goes all over their face.

88:32Yeah. He just wasn't expecting it. And we're like, I'm so sorry. He there was bright lights and he had like a freak out, a bad experience with the helmet, the avatar helmet. And they're like, oh my god, I am so sorry. Like, yeah, I actually I just got chai all over us. Could you take us to the back so I could change my clothes? And they're like, We are so sorry. Yes, please write this way. And she starts escorting us to the back. And I want to say, like, as we're hastily walking, like, like we like look down in the back, and you see like one of the Cantonese people like look at us and then immediately start doing like the like terminator run.

89:06Her nails like pop out, and for no reason whatsoever, she starts climbing on the walls and then the ceiling.

89:15She's like monkey barred, but she's just like stabbing the ceiling and like I'm like, she could have just [expletive] ran, man.

89:22It would have been just as fast.

89:24I'm like, Ash, what do we do? And you just push to that waitress down behind us. Or like, let's say she like the woman like jumped back down and you like pushed her into her, and then we just like book it.

89:36Oh, I I thought she was just fat Roy. I'm sorry. I'll write her apology letter later.

89:45Um, I want to say we get to the back, it's not a huge shop, and it was just it was like a straight line in the back. We push out the door, and then I'm gonna say. You know, like those like three-person bicycles? But it's not a bicycle, it's like a motorcycle that Proxy's driving and has two seats in the back. And I'm like, oh thank god, Proxy. I'm so glad you're here.

From 90:00

90:06Beep, beep.

90:09And it's like, Ash, I got the middle. And I like grab on and like wrap my hands around Proxy's stomach and like kind of like leaning close and like snuggle her.

90:18I am going to go back to back against you, even though it's extremely uncomfortable, and I'm hanging off the back of this [expletive] motorcycle.

90:26And as that happens, she starts to take off, and the back door flies open, and all these like spider nail women just come forward with [expletive] like [expletive]. Like rapidly chasing us, but they're not fast enough.

90:36I just go, go, go.

90:40And we like lose them in this city. Oh, you want to call it there?

90:45I think so. I think that was uh I think let's wrap that up. That was terrifying. Thank you everybody for listening to this episode of Nat One Presents the Daft Monks podcast. Feel free to like, subscribe, share, listen to us. Tell your friends, tell your family members, tell the random stranger sitting on a bench out your window right now, looking at you through binoculars. Thanks for listening.

91:05If you enjoy the show, I know that it takes a lot of time and resources, and quite frankly, a lot of money to get produced. So please go ahead and click the episode link for this episode and do a monthly contribution. It'll take as little as three dollars. That is one coffee, that is one chai latte from an Avatar Cafe, and that would mean a great deal to us. So if you're listening, Donnie, my mom, any of my friends, my mom, Trey, please. We used to do the Patreon, we're kind of bringing it back. Uh, we're spending a lot of money on the show, and anything we can do, we're trying to get episodes out faster. So if you want episodes weekly and timely, we're trying to hire somebody to edit them faster.

91:05But that takes a lot. So help us out, and we would really appreciate it. And that song wasn't [expletive] cheap, you guys. And you know it's awesome. You know it. Dev mod.

91:54Thanks for listening. Good night. Good night.